Bad freshman semester

i went through a lot of emotional trauma the beginning of the semester and health problems later on. I didn’t want to withdraw as I live with my parents, and I didn’t want them to find out. I mistakenly thought I could fix it. At the end of the semester, all of my grades plummetted unexpectedly (i.e. a B to an F, a B to a C). My GPA is a .8. I don’t want to leave school, so please don’t suggest it. I just need to know if this is a recoverable situation. My parents don’t know yet, but I’m afraid they’ll ask within the next few days. Any words of advice are appreciated. Also, to note, as of yet I have not been asked to withdraw. I’ve simply been put on probation.

Well basically you’ll need a “do over.” I guess the question is what did you learn and what are you going to do differently.

Go speak with your academic advisor and come up with a plan so that 2nd semester goes better.

There are no do-overs in college. Your academic record stays with you. I suggest:

-Talk to your parents. Be honest about what mistakes you made and how you plan to resolve them.

–Were your medical issues documented? Is there any chance you might be eligible for a retroactive medical withdrawal?

–Contact your academic advisor. Be sure you understand your status for next semester, what GPA you will need to remain in college etc. Talk to him/her about your schedule next semester, how you plan to improve etc.

–If you do return to campus seek out counseling.

You have just started, I think the best thing to do now is to learn from the past and move on, be optimistic about the future. You can also undergo counseling if you need help.

Yes, of course it’s recoverable. Your grades might even end up looking great by the end of senior year. Don’t listen to people who tell you that you can’t recover from this. I would explore the retroactive medical withdrawal - your profs might support you since you were mostly doing OK. I would contact the counselor, have a chat with your advisor and tell your parents if you think they will be supportive. This can really be OK. Especially if your grades were good before you got thrown into crisis, you can be assured that you have what it takes to succeed.

To anyone else who might read this:

If you have emotional or health problems, reach out to the Counseling Center or your Dean of Students and let them know what is going on. My daughter had a kidney infection last fall and was in the hospital for a week…and she talked to her professors and the dean of students…who then coordinated with disability services and got her accommodations to be able to have more time for assignments. She also talked to her advisor/professors and decided to withdraw from Organic Chemistry so she could concentrate on the other classes.

Another option might have been taking an incomplete. For example I was doing well one semester, but got into a car accident during spring break . I finished most of my classes, but then took an incomplete in the hardest class I had. That meant for me that I continued going to classes but took the final early the next semester.

So for the OP, did you have a diagnosed illness? If so , talk to your Dean of Students about the possibility of a Retroactve Medical WIthdrawal. If they agree, this allows you to basically withdraw from your classes this past semester…making it as if you didn’t take them (or perhaps some of them). You did pay for them, but they wouldn’t be in your GPA.

Re: Probation
I have seen many a request here on CC where someone is put on academic suspension after a year of poor grades. They did badly the first semester, and then didn’t at all change anythign and then ended up with the same grades.

Step 1: Think about what happened.

Step 2: Think about what you could have done differently.
e.g., Gone to Counseling Center, talked to Dean of Students, talked to professors, gotten a tutor, gone to office hours

Step 3: Talk to your parents.
Tell them what happened. Tell them how you were trying to be independent and take care of yourself…but that you now realize that taking care of it doesn’t mean trying to do it alone, but to make use of resources. Tell them that you wish you had talked to them earlier to get their advice.

Step 4: Evaluate if this college is the best situation for you now.
If the emotional issue and the physical issue are resolved, then maybe your college is a good place for you.
But if some of them are ongoing, do you need to recover before you go tback to school?

Step 5: Figure out what you will do differently next semester. Here are ideas

  1. GO TO CLASS, BUY THE BOOK, READ THE CHAPTERS, AND DO THE HOMEWORK!

  2. Go to Professor’s office hours early in the semester and Ask this question: “I know this is a really difficult class-- what are some of the common mistakes students make and how can I avoid them?”

  3. If you have problems with the homework, go to Prof’s office hours. If they have any “help sessions” or “study sessions” or “recitations” or any thing extra, go to them.

  4. Form a study group with other kids in your dorm/class.

  5. Don’t do the minimum…for STEM classes do extra problems. You can buy books that just have problems for calculus or physics or whatever. Watch videos on line about the topic you are studying.

  6. Go to the writing center if you need help with papers/math center for math problems (if they have them)

  7. If things still are not going well, get a tutor.

  8. Read this book: How to Become a Straight-A Student: The Unconventional Strategies Real College Students Use to Score High While Studying Less by Cal Newport. It helps you with things like time management and how to figure out what to write about for a paper, etc.

  9. If you feel you need to withdraw from a class, talk to your advisor as to which one might be the best …you may do better when you have less classes to focus on. But some classes may be pre-reqs and will mess your sequence of classes up.

  10. For tests that you didn’t do well on, can you evaluate what went wrong? Did you never read that topic? Did you not do the homework for it? Do you kind of remember it but forgot what to do? Then next time change the way you study…there may be a study skill center at your college.

  11. How much time outside of class do you spend studying/doing homework? It is generally expected that for each hour in class, you spend 2-3 outside doing homework. Treat this like a full time job.

  12. At first, don’t spend too much time other things rather than school work. (sports, partying, rushing fraternities/sororities, video gaming etc etc)

  13. If you run into any social/health/family troubles (you are sick, your parents are sick, someone died, broke up with boy/girlfriend, suddenly depressed/anxiety etcetc) then immediately go to the counseling center and talk to them. Talk to the dean of students about coordinating your classes…e.g. sometimes you can take a medical withdrawal. Or you could withdraw from a particular class to free up time for the others. Sometimes you can take an incomplete if you are doing well and mostly finished the semester and suddenly get pneumonia/in a car accident (happened to me)…you can heal and take the final first thing the next semester. But talk to your adviser about that too.

  14. At the beginning of the semester, read the syllabus for each class. It tells you what you will be doing and when tests/HW/papers are due. Put all of that in your calendar. The professor may remind you of things, but it is all there for you to see so take initiative and look at it.

  15. Make sure you understand how to use your online class system…Login to it, read what there is for your classes, know how to upload assignments (if that is what the prof wants).

  16. If you get an assignment…make sure to read the instructions and do all the tasks on the assignment. Look at the rubric and make sure you have covered everything.

  17. If you are not sure what to do, go EARLY to the professors office hours…not the day before the assignment is due.

Handling this on your own clearly isn’t working. You don’t want your parents to know, but if they are paying your tuition, they have a right to know. Surely they are concerned about you and want to help you succeed. As a parent, I would be far more saddened if I felt my child was afraid to tell me the truth than if he was doing poorly in school. Your parents love you. Tell them. It’s much easier to do than waiting for the axe to fall.

If you take the right steps, as suggested by others above, you can recover. It’s called “earning” a degree for a good reason. Last semester’s performance isn’t sustainable. Commit to getting help for your mental health and doing all the things suggested above. Good luck.

Yes it is fixable. Bopper provided you with thoughtful advice. Read it carefully and take it to heart. Happy1 says there are no do-overs in college. I guess that is true but there are no do-overs in life either so don’t sweat that issue. I can’t raise my kids again (I’d do every day again if I could because it was so much fun but…). Time marches on.

What does exist includes new opportunities, second chances, gaining perspective and understanding people.

About your parents, they may surprise you. Maybe not. But if they don’t and if they are very upset or angry, so what? They will get over it. And if they have been reasonable in the past, I bet they surprise you with their level of understanding. But if they have not or if the relationship has been rocky for a long time, they may get really upset with you=perhaps rant and rave. Let them. Be prepared for that and how you will handle that. Be the adult in the room. Be the one that understands where they are coming from even if they don’t seem to understand what pressures you’ve been under. Keeping calm and allowing them to vent if they do so, will go a long way to making the situation better.

The fact that you have not clued them in while so many months went by means that all involved parties need to make some changes. There are loads of reasons a kid may not share problems with parents. Identify what reasons were influencing you. Do you respect your parents’ opinions and judgements to such an extent that you live in fear of disappointing them? Maybe you over-value their judgements or view them as having been perfect when they were your age? When you get to a point where you can discuss such issues together, you might want to ask if there were any times they ran into problems and feared disappointing the people they love. You might be surprised. Everyone runs into tough patches. It’s not a matter of “if” but “when”. And, the importance lies not in the “what” but how you handle it when it happens; how you choose to set things right to the point you can move on from them. If your parents tend to be unreasonable and you feared their anger, that’s a more difficult situation. If so, you might want to first arrive at a clear plan and talk with school staff as suggested by Bopper; Something that will allow you to provide the remedy to them as soon as they hear about the issue.

Good luck. Remember, while school is obviously important, it is still just school. So don’t get all bent out of shape and depressed. Just make a plan and go for it.