<p>Don't call personally, ask your guidance counselor/college adviser if you must. If you have a teacher whom you're close to in the field you want to major in (biology? perhaps chemistry too?), you should ask him/her to write you a letter on your behalf. I've heard that those letters are extremely helpful in getting you that extra bump... Perhaps it was the 1690 that was a turn-off. If so, there's really nothing you can do about it now.</p>
<p>This is my uconn/stony brook essay....</p>
<pre><code> If G-d were a screenwriter, He created a piece of art worthy of every Oscar on this day. A day filled with failure, suspense, and the agony of defeat. Basketball has been like a parent, always guiding me in the right direction. It may be only a sport, but to me it is my bread and water. It has injected me with a dose of moral that I have carried on and off the court. I will never forget my coach repeatedly shouting in practice, “basketball does not build character, it reveals it.” It has taught me numerous life lessons, “revealed my character” and led me to one of the biggest days of my life, my championship game.
“One……two……three…..HARDWORK!.....four…..five….six…TOGETHER!” The five of us were one unit, blending together like we did all season long. The only obstacle separating me from that lavish and ornate golden trophy was the piercing sound of the referee’s whistle. My heart was pounding louder than a drum-line seeming as if it could be heard over the energetic crowd. My hands felt like a vicious tremor from an earthquake. This moment seemed too "Disney" to believe. The taste of salty sweat, my heart seeming as if it would rip through my royal blue jersey and the sight of the trophy from the corner of my eye was one feeling I would never forget.
</code></pre>
<p>Basket after basket, whistle after whistle, and hard foul after hard foul neither team would abdicate the moment. Both teams were in a phase of equilibrium. I had to force myself to congregate my strength, my confidence, and my leadership as the team captain. The game came down to the final shot and I had the ball in my frozen hands. I was the New Years ball in New York City, all eyes were on me. As the ball departed my fingertips and bounced off the front of the rim, everything around me froze. Failure was never an option.
It was a culminating sequence in which my blood, sweat, and tears found the polished hardwood floor. Leading me to the end of an Odyssey, unlike any Greek hero had ever been through before. This one experience, these few seconds, changed my life forever. Never in my life have I experienced such a failure. My pathway of sorrow and pain was unexpectedly the key to my enlightenment. Every drop of my sweat contained a different aspect of my goals, eventually creating a puddle of success. I began to realize that this moment was not a failure. This experience has influenced me to continue to practice, to never give up, and to learn from my mistakes and failures. It has polished my leadership qualities and taught me to never be someone else’s shadow. Enriching my life with the strength and confidence I needed, I learned to never limit myself and go as far as I am physically, mentally, and emotionally capable of to benefit mankind. Impossible is nothing. At the end of the day, I am a winner.</p>
<p>buffalo essay...</p>
<p>"Brick walls aren’t there to keep us out. They’re there to show how badly we want something. Because the brick walls are there to stop the people who don't want something badly enough. They are there to keep out the other people." With only one seat left, I would do everything I am physically, mentally and emotionally capable of to make sure that I will be the one sitting on that seat at Buffalo University. If Bayside High School gave an award to the senior who has contributed most significantly to the school, I believe I’d win it. The award plaque I’m envisioning would bear the motto "Head, Hands, Heart" to symbolize demonstrated leadership in academic pursuits, extracurricular activities and commitment to service. My qualifications:
Head: I understand my obligation to contribute to the classroom is through enthusiasm for the subject matter and involvement in discussion. At Buffalo I am looking forward to classroom discussions that continue in the dorm.
Hands: In Key Club International and Bridge to Medicine I began as a member willing to go the extra mile for each club. I volunteered at the Breast Cancer Walk and Light the Night for Leukemia Walk, which only a few attended because of the early Saturday morning wakeup and the long march in the freezing cold. Bridge to Medicine introduced me to various careers in medicine. Perhaps one the best feelings was encouraging and persuading others to join. I look forward to introducing this club to Buffalo. After a year of active participation, my fervor for medicine led me to pursue a degree in pharmacy. Constantly asking my local pharmacist questions about the profession led me to a job position this December as his sales associate.
Heart: Everyday I’d practice for countless hours, hoping one day I’d play varsity basketball at Bayside. Being cut at tryouts for two consecutive years only increased my drive to work harder. Finally, during junior year my competitiveness landed me a spot on the team. I could only dream that one day I’ll represent the Buffalo Bulls on the basketball court as well. During our summer season my coach announced that I’d be a tri-captain for my skills and leadership on and off the court. To prove that I deserved such an honored position I led my team to the Brewster Sports Center AAU Basketball Tournament Championship. It was here during a fundraiser where I met a young boy, Charlie, who loved basketball but was diagnosed with autism. Our relationship motivated me to educate myself about the disorder. My experience with Charlie has inspired me to pursue a degree in pharmacy at Buffalo. My goal is to one day find a cure for autism and become a role model for other future pharmacists at Buffalo.
My extracurricular activities and jobs sculpted me into the leader I am today. If there is an award offered to the senior who has done the most for Buffalo, I hope to be in contention. Selecting me for that last seat would not only make me a potential pharmacist from Buffalo, but maybe even a Buffalo Bull!</p>
<p>"Both teams were in a phase of equilibrium"
"Impossible is nothing"</p>
<p>I lol'd. </p>
<p>Well, tbh, your essays are probably better than 50% of the crap they read- or don't read, in my case- every day. You should definitely call buffalo- and while you're at it, ask them how I got in without submitting my supplemental.</p>
<p>what do you mean by "ask them how i got in without submitting my supplemental? "</p>
<p>ok so i just called buffalo and stated ......</p>
<p>1)i am aware of how difficult the admissions season has been, and I’m happy and appreciative that buffalo considered me qualified enough to be placed on the wait list and that I’m still extremely interested in attending the school.</p>
<p>2) I will be putting a deposit down with another school but that i would CERTAINLY drop that if a wait list offer were to come my way because they have always been my top choice.</p>
<p>3) If i could find out where i am on the wait list.</p>
<p>Basically he said that i occupy the top of the wait list and buffalo in the past has accepted many of their students from the wait list. Also that i should be receiving another letter in a couple of weeks regarding my acceptance.</p>
<p>Thanks for the advice guys, i'll be calling stony and uconn soon. Oh and i more question, i wanted to know if i should send a thank you letter with my wait list offer? Thanks in advance.</p>
<p>Glad to hear you called UB (which is what it's called, not Buffalo University or even SUNY Buffalo, btw) and that you're near the top. I'm fairly certain that my D will be there too. I'd recommend getting in your $350 deposit (refundable til 5/1) and housing preferences asap if you don't want to get stuck on South Campus and take the shuttle to North your first year. Their prepharm guarantee is a bit scary but I think it's a great program academically and UB offers so much in general.</p>
<p>"If G-d were a screenwriter, He created a piece of art worthy of every Oscar on this day. A day filled with failure, suspense, and the agony of defeat. Basketball has been like a parent, always guiding me in the right direction. It may be only a sport, but to me it is my bread and water. It has injected me with a dose of moral that I have carried on and off the court. I will never forget my coach repeatedly shouting in practice, “basketball does not build character, it reveals it.”</p>
<p>FYI...I see several grammatical errors just in this paragraph. Your second sentence is a fragment. The word "morale" is spelled incorrectly. Your coach should be shouting with a capital letter at the beginning of his sentence. Also, your first two sentences don't really seem to go with the next few. What day are you referring to...the day G-d created basketball? The day of a big game? I can't figure it out. </p>
<p>I would have loved to see the last sentence of this paragraph be the first sentence of your essay, with the rest of the essay explaining how basketball has revealed your character.</p>
<p>I know this doesn't help you now...but it's really important to have several people with a good working knowledge of grammar read your essays before you send them. And if you decide to write a letter to those colleges, have someone check that too!</p>
<p>P.S. I just glanced at your second essay, where your third sentence is also a fragment.</p>
<p>thanks on the essay corrections, but its kinda late now. i'll make sure to post my thank you letters here for a proofread before i sent them out</p>
<p>Do not refer to UB as "Buffalo University" in your thank you note. I personally think that hurt you as you did not use the proper name of the school in your essay and possibly elsewhere in your application. Know your audience. Know the name of the school to which your are applying. Best wishes for getting of all waitlists.</p>
<p>
[quote]
Thanks for the advice guys, i'll be calling stony and uconn soon. Oh and i more question, i wanted to know if i should send a thank you letter with my wait list offer? Thanks in advance.
[/quote]
I'm glad it looks like it's going to work out for you. A thank you letter is not necessary. It's just more work for the admissions staff. Your deposit will be sufficient.</p>