Be Careful What You Wish For..

Colleges and Universities A-Z Wellesley College
21

<p>Actually, Wellesley College does not have a high transfer rate. At least, it's a comparable transfer rate to other colleges (including women's colleges). Having sat on the re-accredition steering committee, that concern wasn't brought up once and I'm pretty sure any college would be hellishly worried if it were seeing more transfers than any other college. I grant that it might be a slight bit higher because of the women's college thing (I don't see why, given that students come to Wellesley with full knowledge of its single-sex nature), but it's going to be on par with any other women's college. </p>

<p>It's VERY typical to have unhappy first-years anywhere. Wellesley students tend to think that there are much more at Wellesley because that's their experience and unhappy people tend to start conversations about their unhappiness whereas happy people tend to let live. Also -- and this is unsubstantiated speculation -- I think Wellesley tends to get blamed more by virtue of being a women's college. People like to chalk up all its problems to that facet of the institution, sometimes (often?) unfairly. </p>

<p>In the meanwhile, I would like to add: if you don't like Community, don't read it. If you don't read it, it won't bother you. However, having talked to a fair number of Community-haters, I have to say, as a group, y'all read Community far too regularly for me to think that it doesn't allow some thrill and amusement (and, I daresay, a sense of superiority). </p>

<p>As for providing Wellesley students with a bad name by posting and being argumentative, well, 1. I really don't think most people here have done any real "attacking" and 2. you're going to get opinionated, (often verbose) women at Wellesley, and quite a few who are very loyal to an institution that has done much for them (although there's plenty of in-fighting). If you don't like that, then attend Wellesley and find other people who also dislike it (I don't recommend this path because I don't like seeing people unhappy) or find an institution where you feel comfortable. It's not about prestige, it's not even about curriculum. Any college will offer a good enough curriculum for you to reap enormous benefits IF you make the effort (NO college will spoonfeed you like they do in high school, NO college will hold your hand). It's about where you can have a good niche and where you can LIVE for those four years. THAT's the most important part of picking a college. Which college, at the end of the day, will you be happy to call "home"?</p>

22

<p>The first poster is obviously not happy with her college and it apparently is not a good fit for HER. This does not mean it would not be a great place or good fit for someone else. Each person brings their own background and own perspectives to an experience. How she takes things is not how others would. She shared her exprience and anyone reading it would hopefully be wise enough to know it is simply one kid's experience that is colored by her own perceptions, personality, interests, and so on. It wasn't factual. By the way, to the OP, if you are this unhappy at this school, you might consider transferring. </p>

<p>I think that others should and did come on to share OTHER perspectives of THEIR experiences which helps to balance it out so that prospective students reading this forum (which is what the forum tends to be for) can benefit from hearing many different perspectives and experiences. If INCORRECT information was shared by the first poster (be it the ratio of minorities or if professors know your name, the percentage of how many are on financial aid, etc.), then it makes sense to come on and clarify information so readers get the right information. </p>

<p>Some of you have done that and wonderfully shared your own experiences that counter the first person's experiences (you'd find this on any college campus). Posts like silleeitak's, ithilien's, yousocrazy's, midori's, jancer's, risarin's are what is needed....posting their own perspectives on the points originally raised....opposing the points, which is very appropriate. </p>

<p>What is NOT OK is to be bashing the poster. It is not OK to be writing: </p>

<p>"absurd post", "insanely idoitic", "pathetic", "bitter", etc......</p>

<p>It was HER experience. Simply say "my experience has been totally different, here's why." She was entitled to share hers and you are entitled to share yours. Attacking or bashing the poster who shares differing views, perspectives or experiences, is not the way to go here. Even if she posted incorrect information, then right the information. </p>

<p>By bashing the poster, it disallows people to freely come on and say they have not liked this school for whatever reason. Schools don't fit all kids. It was clear from the first poster that Wellesley is not a good match for her. She's entitled. The rest are entitled to post their positive experiences and in fact, this is good so that kids considering the school can hear many viewpoints, not just one. </p>

<p>Keep posting why you love the school but it is OK to post if you do not like the school too. It is NOT OK to put down other posters. Any bashing like that is not going to be tolerated on the forum.</p>

<p>CollegeMom</p>

23

<p>Wellesley College is a hard school. Academically the classes are no cake walk, and the professors are not going to put in the effort to get to know you on their own. Socially it’s hard to meet boys and definitely friendships with girls are more difficult because of the drama girls bring to the table. That being said this is what makes Wellesley so wonderful.</p>

<p>Classes are hard and demanding. No one is going to just hand you a passing grade. Professors are great resources, but only if you take the time to get to know them. The Profs didn’t know my name at first, so I went to office hours. You have to separate yourself from the crowd if you want that relationship with professors. The work I put to classes and relationship goes a long way towards my academic happiness.</p>

<p>There are some very privileged kids at Wellesley I am sure. I also know that the son of the President of Columbia Pictures goes to my local state school. Wealthy kids are everywhere. Wellesley also happens to be in a very wealthy town that boosts very expansive shops which adds to the false impression that every student has a trust fund. But that doesn’t mean that money rules Wellesley. I would be hard pressed to tell you the worth of any of my friend’s families. I don’t ask and it shouldn’t matter in a friendship.</p>

<p>As for the designer labels everyone wears to class, I may be one of the culprits. In my high school a&f was a must have and if you didn’t spend an hour on hair and make-up you were scrubbing out. At Wellesley I often have people tell me how dressed up I look because I put on my non-designer jeans and take a shower before class.</p>

<p>And speaking of diversity, I must say that I have felt quite the opposite. My host at Open Campus told me that at one point in my Wellesley career I would feel bad being white. And it was true. I was told that I have no culture. Being at such a diverse school has opened me up to new cultures and perspectives. Wellesley gives me the voice to say no you’re wrong I do have a culture that I’m proud of.</p>

<p>Due to the fact that Wellesley is an all-girls school there is a lack of men. And yes frat parties are easily accessible for a Wellesley girl. Some are sketchy, some are nice and frats are definitely not everybody’s scene. It definitely easier to meet sketchy guys, but that is true everywhere. Friday and Saturday night the bus is filled with girls dressed to the nines. When I sometimes get upset about this, I wonder why do I care what they do on their free time? As for drinking, I have found it hard to find places to drink. My friends at other schools drink at least once a week and tease me for being so stone-sold sober now.</p>

<p>I love the Wellesley traditions and proudly participate in them. Yes Wellesley girls are independent and wrapped up in their own lives. That’s what makes Wellesley so great. Everyone is doing something interesting. I have great relationships with my FYM, RAs, APT, HP, Big Sisters and scores of other upperclassman. But these are relationships I work hard on.</p>

<p>Are there snobby, rich, mean girls at Wellesley? Of course. But I find it easy to make friends. All you have to do is say hi. Yes the girls in my classes seemed inapproachable, but when you try to talk to them, when you sit down with a group at lunch you’re bond to find wonderful people. I have such close friendship now, all of them removed from the daily drama of boys. If anything Wellesley has made me more socially component because I take the first step in meeting new people. If girls seem mean and closed off to you, what do you seem like to them?</p>

<p>Wellesley is definitely not the place for everyone. It’s for women who are willing to try new things even if it means being uncomfortable. At Wellesley you have to chase opportunities, and if you don’t you will be miserable. If Wellesley isn’t the place for you, by all means transfer. Wellesley doesn’t need unhappy students...</p>

24

<p>EastSide, thank you for your thoughtfully written post. </p>

<p>Your point about chasing opportunities is also an excellent point applicable to any school. </p>

<p>Also, the fact that this (or any school) is not for everyone, is very true. </p>

<p>Thank you for sharing about YOUR experiences. The more students who share their own experiences, both good and bad, the easier it is for prospective students to gather information. Any student looking into a college needs to talk to MORE than one CURRENT student to form any impressions. Relying on just one or two people's accounts is not sufficient because each person brings their own perspectives or experiences to it and you might be asking a real unhappy camper or a person very unlike you, and so on. If you gather SEVERAL opinions of those who attend, then perhaps one can start to see a trend. Visiting is crucial as well. </p>

<p>When students, like yoursel,f post in the manner you just did, it shows intelligent thoughtful discussion. When people fight or put down other posters, that itself gives a "message" of the types of interactions on campus. Posters might want to think about the tone of the discussion and what impression THAT gives in itself. </p>

<p>CollegeMom</p>

25

<p>hey flowrt</p>

<p>don't hate. wellesley's what you make of it, as is any other place/college/thing in life. just because you made it suck doesn't mean you have to set the school on fire with your words.</p>

<p>not cool. go get yourself a chai latte at the lulu and put the matches down. although i do enjoy the occasional fire/s'more fest...so if you wanna make a fire outside the lulu in the pit and talk about something besides wellesley, i will supply the marshmellows.</p>

<p>word.</p>

<p>i love my wellesley sistahhhhssss</p>

26

<p>... but if only you understood where many of us come from. </p>

<p>It is very trying being from a college that is constantly attacked for being what it is, a women's college with an elite history and some high profile alums. I don't expect anyone but Wellesley students and alums to have any sensitivity to it, but please comprehend that in addition to being proud of our college (which definitely does not preclude being critical of it), we are highly protective of it. So when someone misportrays it (for the ten thousandth time), there are people bound to act irritated. It really may be, in the end, nothing personal to people who insult Wellesley unfairly (if you wanted some fair insults, every one of us on this thread could offer up a dozen each); it's just that there's a sick-and-tired aspect, a knee-jerk reaction to exaggerations and lies. There are endless mischaracterizations, stereotypes and just-plain-meanness that is directed towards our school that may be present in individuals, but as a whole, undeserved. </p>

<p>So there it is. If you go to Wellesley, prepare to insult it, defend it, or both, depending on the audience. ;) </p>

<p>That and there is a chance that the original poster is not really a Wellesley student. Besha pointed out several good indicators. (We're used to trolls, too.) To you, this might not be a good excuse to insult anyone, but to some, there's justification. </p>

<p>And honestly, this thread isn't the most inaccurate representation of online communication at Wellesley. It's usually a bit more clever, though. And if a student thinks that offline and online communications are perfectly mirrored? Well... that's unfortunate.</p>

<p>As for having a moderator... wow, I remember now why I enjoyed Community. ;)</p>

27

<p>Let me assure you that I totally undertand where you are coming from. It is obvious by the number of posters who posted here who are posting for the FIRST time ever on CC, that they are fiercely loyal and wish to defend the school they love. I'm glad you guys are posting YOUR views. That is what I love to see. And if someone posts a negative experience from their perspective, it helps to have it countered by those who have had very different experiences. And if that poster posted totally inaccurate stuff about the college, of course that can be irritating so come on and give us the facts. If that person posted opinions, she's entitled, even if they are not positive about the school. Any intelligent reader should have read it as coming from HER experience. Like someone else said, perhaps she has not chased opportunities, or whatever. Perhaps this simply is not the school for her. Any school is not the school for each person. </p>

<p>What is the only objectional thing here is when people ATTACK the poster. It is not polite discourse to say, "your absurd or idiotic post" just because you disagree with that person's take on the school. With reactions like that, who would feel free to post that they did not like the school that much? There is room here for all perspectives. What looks BAD is to see catty fighting "attitude". What looks good, are the many thoughtful responses that were written. So, besides the fact that we wish all posters to follow the terms of service when posting, students here may want to look at the "image" they are portraying of students at this college when there are certain "tones" to their posts. It is not a friendly image. </p>

<p>As far as moderation, one of the things that makes CC forums so popular and well read is the fact that we DO have moderation. I realize most posters on this thread are new to CC but we do have Terms of Service to post here (read them) and pride ourselves on these forums and know that the fact that they are moderated is what many people welcome and like about them in the first place. The discourse is meant to be respectful where many opinions are allowed. I've seen unmoderated forums and they are not all a pretty sight. But feel welcome to not read this one and stick with the communities for Wellesley. This forum is meant for those contemplating admissions to college and is a service for those going through the college selection and application process. We are grateful to current students who choose to post here because it is invaluable for prospies to hear from those who attend these colleges. So for all you girls who came onto this thread to defend Wellesley (understandably), why not stick around and offer to answer questions on the Wellesley forum from juniors/seniors in high school who are contemplating attending Wellesley? That would be GREAT!</p>

<p>CollegeMom</p>

28

<p>I am a first year. I have had 4 professors so far and this is my experience: In addition to all of my professors knowing my name, I've had a porfessor buy me ice cream (prize for doing well in lab), chocolate truffles from my favorite candy parlor in cape cod (another prize for lab), and invite me to go fishing on his boat next summer. My psych professor invited me to come by her office to chat about the campus' history and drink tea this thursday, which was such a nice study break. One professor treated our entire lab to pie at the cutest diner on our way back from a field trip. I had a professor come in at 7 one morning, on a day that she did not have to come in for lecture, because I needed her there. Professors here insist on sitting down with you during their office hours (or whenever you are available) just to get to know you and hear about your ideas. My professors make me think and come up with answers to questions I didn't even know I could come up with.<br>
I think they are one of the greatest resources here, and they are here because of us. If they didn't want to know our names, and wanted to put their research first, they would not be at a small liberal arts college! </p>

<p>next time I'm sprawled out across a bed of salt marsh hay with my amazing lab mates and our goofy professor I'll try to consider what Marino Biology 210 would have been like at harvard, and then I'll really beam.</p>

<p>p.s. you can buy jeans at the gap in the ville too</p>

29

<p>Because I'm not White and German.... Wellesley NAZI... wow as a minority racial political activist on campus I suddenly find that title on my head, very interesting. very interesting.
Thanks for the wake up call i guess. but I wanna say one thing about community: people who post on there are insane. Very INSANE. but most of them also happen to be the most involved, lively, active, fun, and popular people. And Professors too. Don't forget that faculty and staff post on there too. And very frequently.
What I think of Wellesley has changed overtime. But my opinions have be presented by some fellow students here, so I will not repeat them.
But we are not attacking the author of the post. I personally just don't think it's fair for her to present her personal view of the school on a public forum in such a way that it seems like everybody does or should feel about Wellesley the same way that she does. Reputation is important for any individual person, and it is even more so for a higher education institution.</p>

30

<p>It is as fair of the OP to present her views of Wellesley as it is for anyone to present a disagreement or attempt at refutation. The fact that you wish to "protect" Wellesley is insufficient grounds for stifling posts like the OP's.</p>

<p>The OP may or may not be a troll, I have insufficient knowledge to make a judgment one way or the other. However, the content of some of the responses at least partially validates some of the less inflammatory negative perceptions and the tone of some of the responses puts Wellesley in an ugly light in a much more definite way than any statement of the OP's. Something to think about, ladies. From one who thinks well of Wellesley.</p>

31

<p>Yep. We are cowed into submission now. :)</p>

32

<p>Well I'll be dipped. From their reputation, I wouldn't think Wellesley students would be cowed into anything, let alone submission.</p>

33

<p>Moo.</p>

<p>What with being accused of rudeness and all... how could we not blush, cross our legs, sit up straight and, most importantly, shut up? </p>

<p>That or it's just Friday.</p>

34

<p>The initial post was inflammatory, for reasons many others have pointed out (primarily that the original poster's personal experiences were portrayed as universal ones), and the first few responses after that didn't help much. No one enjoys having words like "absurd" and "psycho feminist" flung at them.</p>

<p>I do understand the moderators' points about being polite and informative in a nicely PC manner--especially since this forum is mostly for prospective students and their families. However (and despite the comments chastizing the negativity of some posts), I think the Wellesley students who have posted in response have displayed their greatest strength: passion.</p>

<p>As a recent Wellesley alum, one of the things I most miss about the college is the students' passion. They agree, disagree, battle, and work together with an intensity and focus that I've not found in my graduate program or the undergraduates in the same university. </p>

<p>For anyone who might be worried that Wellesley students are on the whole mean, petty, or ill-mannered, try engaging them in discussions that don't put them on the defensive. Chances are good that you'll find the same passion shown here, but in a completely different light.</p>

35

<p>We do love to fight with each other... :D. Not surprisingly, this has come up on the wellesleyblue livejournal, and Wellesley's own Community forum. I recommend reading the former. One point made at the Wellesley-only end, was that people were infuriated because most of the negativity was directed at the students and faculity, not about institional practice.</p>

36

<p>As someone who often crosses the "PC" line, I'm pretty certain that the moderators give a lot more leeway to bruising posts against institutions than they do bruising posts against other posters. If you're passionate about an institution, as I am about several, both pro and con, sometimes you just have to suck it up and rebut the points you disagree with without going postal on the poster.</p>

<p>And people really do look at the same scene and see different things. Without the emotional venom of the OP, I think my sense of W, at least compared to Smith, is that, although both schools have students from very wealthy backgrounds, there is a lot less social/economic diversity at Wellesley and that plays out in any number of ways. (You can back into part of this conclusion just by comparing numbers on percentage of students receiving Pell Grants, who by defintion are in the lowest 1/4 of households by income.) What some perceive as "snobbery" may be attributed to unconscious shared expectations and world view as opposed to expressed attitudes.</p>

37

<p>I really love Wellesley and am applying, so of course reading flowert's tear down of Wellesley inspired some indignance, but I was shocked to see how some people were attacking her and calling her names/being generally snarky. She's obviously having a hard time at the college and just posted a rant. Rants are hardly ever backed up by evidence and usually come off irrational and based on personal experiences. Wellesley is not for everyone. Besides, those of us who know and love Wellesley know what she's saying is just plain untrue and we all can recognize it for what it is: a rant.</p>

38

<p>Ok so everyone is entitled to their opinions. And here is mine. This is simply meant to show all the prospies out there another first-years opinion of Wellesley...</p>

<p>I am a first-year. I am on full-scholarship mostly due to extreme financial need. I LOVE sweatpants, and sweatshirts. I also LOVE that at Wellesley I can go to class in such clothing everyday because I know that nobody really cares. I have made some incredible friends already and some of them are very rich. I am pretty sure one of them has a private jet! However, that does not make her a bad person. She is just like many other Wellesley girls I have come to adore; intelligent, kind, and friendly. I love going into to Boston, and I even enjoy an MIT frat party every now and again. I especially love coming back to a quiet, safe campus after a long and wild night in Boston. Personally, I have found that I don't really like frat parties all that much so I spend more time going to concerts and clubs in Boston. But to each her own. I LOVE my roommate. I spend a good majority of my time in my room laughing hysterically. We have similar living styles so there have been very few conflicts in that area. We are both respectful and considerate so we end up joking around and laughing about the few conflicts we have had. I also LOVE Wellesley upperclasswomen. I have many older friends already who are supportive and knowledgeable. How else would I have known which MIT frats to stay away from without the advice of my RA? I have met some Wellesley girls I don't like. I have met some girls I avoid contact with. I have also met some MIT boys I don't like. And a few girls from BU that I am not too fond of. Everywhere you go, you meet people you don't like. I would be concerned if I liked every single person I met. I am very satisfied with my classes for my first semester in college. Due to the fact that I am trying to get my distribution requirements out of the way, I am in some big and slightly boring classes. But I also have some great classes. And all my professors know my name. I love being able to focus all week and then let loose on the weekend. I love that my dorm looks like it is out of a Harry Potter movie. I love that my roommate, my next door neighbor and I can bond over Grey's Anatomy one night, and engage in intriguing conversation about constitutional law the next. I love that I can always find interesting and passionate discussions to read on First Class when procrastinating. I love that each Wellesley girls I meet is unique, yet similar in their passion, and drive. My experience does not define the experience of every other first year. But I strongly beleive that Wellesley, like every college, is what you make it.</p>

39

<p>Okay, I'll succumb and I'll post what my experience at Wellesley thus far had been. Now, where to begin...</p>

<p>There are days when I feel like transferring is the best option for me and then there are days when it seems more tolerable, more normal. Academics-wise, I've been lucky. For the most part, I've had really awesome professors that really engage you in the subject matter and inspire you. And I would say that was one of two big reasons why I decided to stay. </p>

<p>The second reason was my friends. I had an unusually, friendly hall last year (in my opinion because I don't know anyone else who had that kind of hall chemistry) with argurably the best RA on the planet. We meshed so well and it was so awesome to have that support system. I love those people so much and they helped me so much that when it came to deciding whether or not I should send that transfer application, I opted not to. </p>

<p>Those are my two big reasons and those two big reasons are the only things that are keeping me here. Wellesley can be very cruel and isolating place. It can be very unforgiving. Outside my small circle of friends, I find that nice people are definitely out there but there is also a good proportion of the population that are not too friendly and that are quick to put people down. So many people pride themselves in being "opinionated" but oftentimes, to me, they just come across as rude and intolerant. And as much as I try and stay away from them, they still make up a good number of the people at Wellesley.</p>

<p>The social life isn't any help either. Sometimes, I don't even think the party scene is the problem (because it's still there, just 13 miles away). I find that it's really hard to just chill and feel like a 20-year-old with people here at Wellesley. Someone is always whining about a paper or a lab report or something like that. There is just no outlet to relax, or something that makes you happy. I don't know how to explain it but I'll put it in Harry Potter terms: Wellesley can be one giant dementor sometimes and it takes a mighty, awesome Patronus to stay afloat here. </p>

<p>Also, it's really hard to meet/make friends outside of school. It's either you frequent Beacon St. on the weekends or you have highschool friends in various area-schools already. Otherwise, you're sort of screwed. And it's not just finding a boyfriend (because some of us aren't specifically looking for that), but just people from outside the bubble, someone to remind you that there is life outside of and completely unrelated to Wellesley.</p>

<p>One last thing, someone posted something about getting involved. Oh trust me. I've done that ever since my first semester. But that doesn't guarantee that you'll fit in and find your niche. Despite the fact that I have found a few good people here and have been heavily involved in extracurriculars, I still feel like I don't belong.</p>

<p>And that feeling sucks.</p>

<p>So my advice is this: if you're a prospie, think/reflect very carefully. Be fully aware of your choice because Wellesley can be someone's heaven and someone else's hell. If you're here already, tried as hard as you can to feel normal and healthy and sane, and still feel that you're not okay here, please, do yourself a favor and transfer. And I don't mean that in a condescending-well-you're-not-cut-out-for-Wellesley-tone. No. I'm just saying that we're talking four years of your life here and four years of misery isn't worth it.</p>

40

<p>TheDad, you could be right in saying that more Smithies receive Pell Grants than do Wendies, but that's not a particularly strong point of comparison. It might be more telling to compare the overall picture of financial aid packages at the two schools (and even that would present questionable data).</p>

<p>I had a Pell Grant for one year, and then it was revoked even though my family's financial situation remained unchanged and my parents had three children in college instead of the two during my first year. I still don't know why I lost that funding, or why my loans after two years were switched from Perkins to Stafford (and then back to Perkins).</p>

<p>Numbers can be misleading. I know of many students who pay their own way because their parents won't (or can't). The government bases financial aid on parental resources whether or not the parents contribute to their child's education--a lot of students work full-time jobs in addition to their full-time class load. This is the case at many schools, not just Wellesley or Smith.</p>

<p>No one here is saying that Wellesley is perfect or that it boasts out-of-this-world diversity. But it -does- have a diverse student population, whether or not it matches, number for number, its collegiate peers. On the whole, it does a better job than many colleges and universities I've seen, and the student body is active and vocal enough to remind the administration that it need to continue improving.</p>