Echoing much of what has already been said, but I’m going to reiterate because it’s so important. Both of my kids learned things the hard way.
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Go EARLY to see the professor or the TA, and use the tutoring center!!! If you feel at all like you aren’t getting the hang of something, it is 1000x easier to be proactive earlier rather than scrambling to salvage a grade.
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If you feel at all anxious or depressed, sad, lonely, etc…. sign up for campus counseling services NOW. They can really help. If your appt comes up in a few weeks and you feel more settled, you can cancel it. As juniors and seniors, my D and her friends routinely used campus counseling because it helped them stay focused and manage stress.
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Don’t be the person who doesn’t realize until senior year that there was some amazing club, or special event, or grant, or opportunity that you missed out on in your earlier college years. Visit all those centers on campus, or go on the website and dig around deep in the pages of your department for cool opportunities. Using Binghamton as an example, today alone students can: have a guided hike at the nature preserve, get free ice cream at Watson SE, drop in on an entrepreneurship workshop, visit the bowling lanes, attend a study abroad session, have s’mores, audition for voice lessons, go to a Hillel birthday party, go to a poster sale, and see a hypnotist show. Phew!
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Get out of your comfort zone. Force yourself to try new things with new people (provided it’s legal and safe). Way too easy to just continue doing all the same stuff, not expanding your circle of friends, etc. Most of the time you’ll at least get additional friends and quite often a new appreciation for something unusual (for you).
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Agree with getting out of your comfort zone. Be careful of saying or thinking, “I can’t do x because I have anxiety”, “I can’t do y because of anxiety”. The experts who research and treat anxiety have found that the most effective way to reduce anxiety is through exposure. So, when it comes to social anxiety and you find yourself sitting in your dorm room instead of trying to meet new people or join groups, try to remember that the best way to improve the situation is to gradually expose yourself to the things that make you uncomfortable, sit with and experience the discomfort, and observe that the anxiety gradually goes down. You will often find that experiences aren’t as bad as you think they will be and they get easier over time. Try to view those times of putting yourself out there as exposure practice and not that any one attempt needs to be successful or result in a new friend.
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Great points. I would only add that although it may not look or feel like it, many kids are going through something similar. They’ve just forced themselves to try so you see them out there and active and assume they’re naturally extroverted. Tons of kids are feeling their way. Totally normal and will become far easier as you ease into it.