<p>I would not rule out Bard on the basis of an article in The Onion. That publication is mostly filled with satire and parody. While some of what they present as factual may be true, I would not trust it as a sole source for anything. Also, at any given school there will be some students who smoke and/or drink and some that do not. It is true that those activities are more prevalent at some schools than at others.</p>