@SpiritManager, thanks for the clarification about Bard. That info I received was, I believe, specific to my son’s instrument, for which they had no regular college instructor.
The op said her son was more interested in top notch ensemble opportunities–never mentioned wanting lessons, although it’s useful info.
@rayrick Happy to hear your son made his choice for UPS. I’ll enjoy hearing your reports!
@spiritmanager, he had the great good fortune of doing a recent overnight there on a night that the wind ensemble was giving a concert, featuring Gail Williams, a very famous horn player and prof (she teaches at Northwestern). He said it was incredible. Really helped clinch the deal for him 
@CelloMomCA, I’d suggest that your son look at Williams, which seems to fulfill everything on his music wishlist. Williams offers a small but dynamic music department with ample performance opportunities for non-majors.
http://music.williams.edu/category/ensembles/
Williams is a small liberal arts school (about 2000 students) which may not turn out to be what he’s looking for, but for music, I’d give it an edge over Amherst and even some larger universities.
Everyone - thank you SO MUCH for all this great input. Can’t tell you how much it helps. I am sharing it all with my son and we will continue to do our research. Tufts and Michigan are definitely on his radar. FWIW, he is much more concerned with having a good orchestra and chamber music opportunities than with taking lessons. So it’s about the peer group and whether the ensembles are open to non-music majors. Great tip to look at the orchestra descriptions and see whether they are open by audition to all students or just to music majors.
With gratitude,
Erika
Many of the schools mentioned in this thread (McGill, Northwestern, Rice, UMich) have specific schools of music, for which entrance requires an audition, and they are really conservatories. It seems like non-musicians are just looking up universities with music and posting them willy-nilly into this thread; you may have better luck in the music major forum. Often, these Schools of Music supplant an internal music department, precluding the possibility of casual or non-conservatory-style participation–which is great for the conservatory students, but not so hot for others.
I agree with @SpiritManager that Emory has great music–including a specific performance ‘track’, which is unusual for a BA program. I also was quite satisfied with Brown’s music; there aren’t a ton of music majors but the open curriculum means there are always plenty of enthusiastic students, and they have a surprisingly large (110-piece) orchestra. UNC-Chapel Hill, surprisingly, offers a BM without a conservatory; it’s almost exactly the same experience as the music BA but with extra performance opportunities.
28 is a GREAT resource, thank you very much!
There’s two ways your son could do Northwestern:
Be a music major, but tke classes, or do a double major, in another school. Many music students do this. Dual majors supposedly take five years, but there are people who do it in four. http://www.music.northwestern.edu/academics/degrees-and-certificates/dual-degrees.html
Be a non-music major, but take part in music-based extracurriculars. A guy from my class who went to my high school and also goes to NU, like me, is involved in orchestras and bands at NU. For some of the orchestras and music ECs students get academic credit. Lots of people also do marching band too.
@CelloMomCA We were looking for similar schools for out son - great music opportunities without having to compete with conservatory students, or being ineligible for top groups. Your alma mater Yale was the favorite and my son is lucky enough to attend there. So many musical opportunities! One school that I didn’t see mentioned was Vanderbilt. I know it’s not in the NE but it met all of our other criteria. They do have a music school there, but they are very welcoming to non majors. They even have a major called music as a 2nd major for kids whose primary interest is something else. My son had a sample lesson when we visited and then we attended a chamber concert that had good attendance on a week night. Great academics and “happy” smart kids. Worth a look. We also considered USC and Michigan as already mentioned, but those schools do have some serious music majors. Cornell is a good choice also.
@thatrunnerkid at Northwestern it’s actually a dual DEGREE - a BA and a BM in 5 years. Bienen is a conservatory, so it requires auditions for entrance, and a dual degree program is a much more intense load than it seems OP is looking for.
@Musicmom2015 the Musical Arts major at Vandy is a great way to get conservatory-level training and immersion without as much competition and time commitment. Blair also seemed to have a very warm and supportive environment in general, not nearly as cutthroat as other major conservatories
Vassar has an excellent full student orchestra and Eduardo Navega the conductor is awesome. We have attended Vassar orchestra concerts and chamber music for seven years now and every year there are many wonderful musical moments. It was a perfect place for S1 and S2 (one who was accepted to a conservatory) who needed a high level music experience in a LAC atmosphere. Go to concerts or rehearsals or listen to the webcasts not just at Vassar but at every school you are interested in. I have also heard the Wesleyan and Hamilton orchestras and they were great also!
Hi all and thanks again for everyone’s input here. Just wanted to circle back: My boy was accepted to Yale early decision, class of 2021. He is thrilled, and we are thrilled because he is thrilled!
Thanks for the update and CONGRATULATIONS!!