Boarding schools

Prep School Admissions Prep School Parents
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@CaliMex I have to disagree with you a teeny tiny bit here…I believe that swimming is a sport in which one gets to know their teammates on a level that is much more personal than many other sports. As a current swimmer, I owe it all to swimming for building my EQ and my collaboration skills. As my friend thoughtfully put, “When you are suffering, half-naked, with 50 other people that you don’t know that well on a daily basis for almost two hours per day, you either build an unbreakable bond with those people, or you don’t make any friends at all, because you are obviously incapable at social interactions.” You learn to bond with people you’ve never met before and it is my belief that you naturally collaborate better with those whom you have a close bond with. While I do agree that some other sports may develop collaboration better, two sports is already a very big commitment and if she is successful at squash and swimming, it will be more than enough to send her into some boarding schools. I do completely agree with you on the music standpoint, however. I would recommend a lesser played instrument, such as an oboe or a bassoon. Those are very challenging instruments, mechanics-wise, so unless she has played some other instrument, those may not be the best fit. I would recommend flutes, clarinets, or pianos to beginners or a stringed instrument if she would like a challenge. Just keep in mind, the more popular an instrument seems, the harder it is to get a scholarship or such.

Back to the OP’s original question, however, I must ask as a semi-recruited swimmer for PEA, how successful is your daughter at swimming and squash? I was top 50 in the nation in 3-4 events and Coach Mills (Exeter Boys V Swim coach) took notice of me and by the sound of it, recommended me to the admissions office heavily. If you would like tips for becoming faster at swim, PM me, but I would like to suggest for you to look at the NEPSSA results. This is essentially the pinnacle of BS swimming, and looking at which times she may be able to improve in order to make A-finals should help your decision. Just search up “NEPSSA results” and click the first link, if you’re using Google.

I would also recommend for her to start reading both classics (Great Gatsby, Count of Monte Cristo, Hunchback of Notre Dame), and plays and poems like Shakespeare’s plays and sonnets, Walt Whitman, Edgar Allen Poe, etc. This is not only to help make her life easier when she gets to prep school, but it will help her ace the SSAT’s as well. Speaking of the SSATs, I would strongly recommend taking the Middle-Level SSAT for practice, depending on your financial situation.

Lastly, at the end of this loooong essay type response :)), I would recommend for her to a) communicate with her 8th-grade teachers already because they’re the ones writing your recommendations and b) volunteer at as many places as you can in her free time. Both Exeter and Andover have the motto “Non-Sibi”, which means not for self. If she can confidnetly demonstrate this behavior, it will give her an edge on many other applicants.

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Do swim team members bond? Of course! Does their success depend on close collaboration and improvisation under pressure? Not really.

Also: There are some amazing schools out there without squash or swim teams, so not playing other team sports narrows the possibilities. I’ve also noticed that many of the schools WITH swim teams are looking for swimmers with very competitive times. I still think it is smart to learn to play a sport that is more universal, so if you fall in love with a school that doesn’t happen to have swimming, you can honestly say that you are looking forward to improving your lacrosse or soccer game.

Finally, as the head of the arts program at St Paul’s told us, “We can always use more violins and violas. Pianists are just not as useful to us.” Clarinet, trumpet, sax are other good instruments to consider adding because unlike piano, one needs several per ensemble.

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Yes, sports are important if your daughter is very good at them and the school has that sport.

Relationships with teachers are important for recommendation writing. Students can have good relationships with teachers even in large classes though. Making a connection with teachers will definitely help come recommendation time.

I have to disagree with the book list above, she definitely does not need to read those (although the Count of Monte Cristo is a great book). AOs will be much more interested and impressed by a kid talking passionately about a “current” book than listing off the books they read that clearly came from some “get a good score on your ssat” booklist. Should she read a lot, especially if she loves to read? Yes. Does it need to be Shakespeare in 6th grade? No. Also, I have read all those books, some against my will, and I think the SSAT verbal is a unique beast not necessarily cracked by reading Whitman. SSAT targeted vocab lists and practicing the specific SSAT verbal sections would be much more helpful IMO.

I do not think that a summer program at the school is a big advantage. If you read old threads you will see kids who attended summer programs and did not get in.

There is no prescription for getting in but in general - work very hard at the things you are good at and passionate about, do something to give back to your community, be close enough to teachers to get excellent recommendations. Above all, be a good person, not the kid that other kids roll their eyes about. Be the kind of person an AO wants to sit and talk with if you come back to campus a second time.

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You can do all the shaping and sculpting you want and still have no joy. Lots of opinions on CC, but mine is that authenticity, genuine passion, happiness and engagement are key ingredients to admission. Be careful in all your planning that you don’t overdo it. It’s so easy for the person underneath to get lost that way and become invisible to the AO. Lots of “perfect” applicant white noise out there.

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@ThacherParent totally agree with you. In fact there’s a thread going on right now where a “perfect” applicant didn’t get in somewhere. The human element cannot be over stated here. It’s important to be a person, with real passions and experiences, not just a good on paper applicant.

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The other thing is, there are many, many “curated” kids especially in NE, NY and CA. These kids have since birth gone to every activity and the parents have chosen things for the kids to do. These kids often do multiple things and some they even do quite well as they started at 3 instead of 13. That doesn’t make them interesting or someone that schools necessarily want to have around.

If I had to rank in terms of who got into prestigious schools by results, I would say that athletes come in first ( just is-I was surprised too), then legacy/URM (these also seem to be about equal), then well rounded kids who were also solid academically. Geography is also a large factor.

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@houstonmoma on the topic of large public versus small school, my child is one of about 1,200 :open_mouth: in his competitive public middle school.

The teachers are great. The strong students and strong contributors are known and receive good letters of recommendations. The point I’m making is if your child is a great student and contributes to the school community and classroom, teachers will know even at some large public schools. There is more truth to it if the school is less competitive since it will be easier to stand out. At a competitive school it is a little harder since you have more overachieving children around.

For better or worse, we were surprised to learn that, even at such a large school, our child had a “reputation” during/after 6th grade and that followed him into 7th and 8th. However, his school has community type awards and things like that which are posted on a board in the school and my guess is teachers talk. That overshadows the honor roll type stuff since that board is filled with tons of names.

Of course, stats matter and the kids have to prove they can do the work. However, IMO, BS look for students who take advantage of whatever situation they are in.

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There is no one recipe for success, but many good ideas here. I’ve not read one and only one post that is “correct”.

My kid did a magnet public middle school. He did no BS summer programs, got in several schools. Other kids at his school did attend summer programs and didnt get in. No method to the madness.

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What @Altras said is great advice. My perspective is of course as the mom of MY kid. So I can talk about her strengths and why she got into schools. You need to pick out the advice that will help based on your daughter’s strengths.

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@dogsmama1997 I was just going off my own opinion because, in my interview, my interviewer and I really bonded over books. At schools like Exeter, they really value literature and so my interviewer was impressed when he asked what my favorite book was and I responded, “The Count of Monte Cristo”. The books will not necessarily give you a boost on the SSAT, but they will help you connect with your interviewer, very possibly. My interviewer and I had almost a 2-hour long discussion on Shakespeare and The Count of Monte Cristo. I also do not see why 6th graders shouldn’t read Shakespeare. Sure, some of the content may be mature, but I feel that if her Lexile is high enough, it will help her view certain situations in a more mature and calculated way. Lastly, I feel that poems are very important to your success on the SSAT. You can’t start reading poems a month before your SSAT test date and expect to know what any of it means. Knowledge of figurative language and abstract concepts found in poems do not come instantly. Instead, they come over time after reading numerous poems and trying to decipher what they mean. While I am not a parent, as a future Exeter student, I feel that reading a variety of literature will help of the OP’s daughter on the SSAT, but it will heighten her maturity and her views on many concepts.

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Thank you everyone for the great tips and suggestions. This is a great discussion from both, students and parents viewpoint.

I am sure the summer sessions are not a direct way in, but it’s to see if your child would like the environment and is mature enough to stay away from. She loves reading and as mentioned before , she self published a book recently. She will be working on her book# 2 over the next 3 years… Not sure if that helps, but it shows her dedication and love towards writing and reading.

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@ImWaisian The reason reading Shakespeare and the Count of Monte Cristo helped you gain admittance is because you were genuinely passionate about literature. Forcing a 6th grader to do something they aren’t at all interested in won’t have the same outcome. It could result in a lack of authenticity that AOs seek to screen out.

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@CaliMex I’m new to this but I think you are so right about the screening out stuff. From what I can tell, AOs seem to know when students are building resumes versus being genuinely interested in reported ECs/academics.

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“She will be working on her book# 2 over the next 3 years. Not sure if that helps, but it shows her dedication and love towards writing and reading.”
@CaliMex The OP’s daughter IS very passionate about writing, reading, etc., and that is why I recommended the books that I did.

After I posted, I realized this sounded very arrogant and childish, so I am here to say, “I believe that the OP’s daughter is very capable of reading literature well beyond her level based on her passion of literature and writing, and that is why I recommended those books”. Hope this doesn’t sound as argumentative as the first statement…

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@houstonmoma

You wrote…

on your other thread. Which is it? 5th or 6th.

I ask because some programs are open to kids who will be entering 7th grade…but not 6th.

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@thumper1 Currently in 5th, entering 6th this fall. I can still research into this for next year ( if she isn’t eligible this year)