<p>Letting the schools know you are not coming is so important, but it has been agonizing! </p>
<p>Knowing other students were on waitlists for programs and scholarships, my D has tried to send carefully worded emails to schools as soon as she realized she wasn't going to attend a school. Often there was a very special professor at the school with whom she'd made a special connection. Anyone else typing through tears?</p>
<p>This was a tough spot I had not anticipated.</p>
<p>I completely agree! Your D has been blessed with many wonderful acceptances which makes it more difficult to choose, let alone to have to turn any down that she really likes. My older daughter just had to do the same thing this week with her grad schools. It just is part of the process you have to accept. It is nice that your D is taking the time to write letters. My D also met with heads of programs and they called her on the phone and offered more scholarships, and all that jazz. It is hard to say no but by the same token, they know some kids are going to say no because they were accepted at more than one school, and not because they do not like the program. And perhaps someone will get off a wait list (though remember that is not necessarily so because most schools accept more than they plan to yield and have already built in "extra" students and may not use the wait list). </p>
<p>Your D will get past the angst of turning schools down pretty quickly and move onto embracing her chosen school. It's a process....not always an easy one though. The good news is that your D has a happy ending!</p>
<p>If you think of it this way it is a whole lot easier: They turn down hundreds, you are only turning down a few.</p>
<p>(This from the girl who has yet to write "that" email ;-)</p>
<p>^^^Yeah, another way to think of it is that now YOU are in the driver's seat and before, the colleges were. It is nice to be the one deciding!</p>
<p>I cannot speak for the faculty at other programs, but I do not take it personally when a student decides to go elsewhere... it is inevitable... for us it is why we initially accept only 16 to try to yield a class of 8 - 12. I would love to work with all 16 that we accept... actually I usually would love to work with more than the 16 we initially accept, but we can only have so many in a class. If all 16 came we would be over enrolled in the class, and the next year we would probably have to adjust our yield formula and accept fewer applicants.</p>
<p>College choice is all about fit... I am thrilled that a student has found a school that (s)he feels is the best place to continue study... if that is not us, that's okay... it is part of the process.</p>
<p>I will stress how important it is to let the schools know when you have made a final decision, however. Remember that there may be people on a waitlist for whom the school you are turning down is a first choice. Turning down an offer from a school that you know you will not attend allows the school to make additional offers if they so choose. </p>
<p>It is wonderful to have choices... but decisions are tough! :)</p>
<p>dramama - totally get what you/your D is going through, as my D had to do the same back in January. The excitement that she made it into her dream school went hand in hand for a while with an awkward sense of agony that she had to turn down some programs she really had come to love as well. Some of the department chairs wrote back the nicest letters, something she will always treasure.</p>
<p>dramama - YES - my D had the worse time with one school. Not because she was madly in love with it but just because they were so incredibly nice. They had gone out of their way to make personal phone calls, emails, letters - they were in constant contact with her and always so warm and friendly. It probably was just expected but this particular admissions officer had created such a personal relationship with my D that she really felt she was going to break her heart by declining. I had to sit on top of her to write the email.</p>
<p>Let me reiterate what KatMT stated regarding how personal this process is for those who work at the programs and have first hand experience with these prospective students. It is always so difficult to have students choose another program when you have invested time and energy into the recruitment process. That being said, the only person who can make these difficult choices is the student themselves. I always tell students that "any program who says they are the only schol for you, is not really interested in you or your success." Again, while an agonizing time for both schools and students, most of us understand that this is part of the process and we are all hopeful that students will make choices they feel good about.</p>
<p>Let me also echo previous comments and say that it is REALLY vital that students let schools now asap when they have made final decisions....telling a school that you have chose another institution is important so that schools can notify "waiting list" students as soon as possible.</p>
<p>Ball State Bill</p>
<p>I also agree that the most important thing is for the student to find the best fit. There are so many factors that go into choosing a school and I never take it personally when a student chooses to go elsewhere either.</p>
<p>dramama - I remember our family having those same feelings.</p>
<p>I'm anxiously awaiting your post of her final decision. Have you posted it yet, or are you waiting until she notifies everyone else?</p>