BS recommendations for "gifted" kid with slow processing

Prep School Admissions
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DS recently had a neuropsych done. He scored 120-139 for verbal comprehension, visual/spatial & fluid reasoning, but avg for processing speed (98 or 45th percentile). FSIQ 129. He attends an accelerated MS where he gets some accommodations (time extensions) but most assignments he turns in on time. He is very advanced in math but tends to struggle with certain texts or open ended class discussions where some of what’s being said just goes over his head. He needs then to look at handouts or reading material to put it all together. The teachers and student body are very supportive and he is generally doing very well, although I can see that the slow processing sometimes takes a toll-- certain assignments can be overwhelming.

We are looking at BS options for HS. I want to keep him intellectually motivated and engaged but don’t want to drown him. He hates busy busy work and excels with a differentiated approach. Assuming these schools would accept a kid with his academic profile, are we nuts looking at schools like Choate, Loomis and Middlesex, even CATE? Or should we focus on less competitive schools that have a broader range of learners?? I see on several other threads on this site that competitive schools do offer accommodations but I wonder whether we’d just be putting him in a situation where he would be perpetually “catching up” because of the heavy workload. DS is committed, works hard and wants to do well, but sometimes he gets caught up in the rat race of friends applying to Exeter and Andover and wonders why not me. I want him to find a school where he’d be challenged and supported. Any advise would be greatly appreciated.

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quote from Middlesex revisit day “we purposely give the kids more work than they can possibly do, it teaches them to prioritize.” Do you think that would work for your kid? Is he going to be ok when the super smart, fast processing speed kids need 3-4 hours to do homework every night and it takes him even longer? What about the nights when there is even more like 6 hours of homework because of tests and papers?

There is a homework thread currently, you might want to look through it. I have generally found that there is way more homework than schools list as their guideline. I have a junior and a sophomore and I don’t think I have ever spoken to a parent at either school who didn’t think their kid had waaaaay more homework than advertised.

What about concord academy? I know several kids who go there and the homework seems more reasonable as does the support. It is also a lovely school. Definitely smart kids though. They just seem a bit happier and more relaxed than the other BS kids I know.

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My extremely bright but very slow* son thrived at The Millbrook School. They have different degrees of difficulty in their classes; my son was challenged in AP Chemistry and Honors calculus e.g. and they are nurturing and seem very good with different learning styles. Plus they are the only school with an accredited zoo!

My son had the grades and scores to go to a top 10 boarding school, like his brothers. But he would have been crushed by that experience. And by crushed I mean flattened like a pancake.

Instead, he thrived over his 4 years at Millbrook, ending up attending a top 20 university. I highly recommend Millbrook!

*his neurologist said he didn’t often see kids with this profile – if you are this slow, the Dr said, you are usually really dumb. It’s rare to have super smart and super slow in the same kid :slight_smile: So, welcome to the club!

And PS the work load was much less at Millbrook, than at his brothers’ top 10 school. But the outcome was just as good, and very likely much better.

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I would consider what you want your son’s experience to be (and helping him think through it as well.) And I would think through how he might process different experiences.

If he likes the idea of a super competitive school because it would validate his intelligence, will he feel lousy if he ends up in the bottom half of the class not because he’s not smart but because he just can’t work quickly enough? Or will he feel stressed because he can’t create the record he wants for college?

Will he have the time and energy to enjoy learning? To get excited about the material and perhaps feel some passion for some part of it? Or will the grind of getting it done just be a grind? Will he gas left in his tank to take advantage of what the school offers outside the classroom?

There are schools where he can be challenged but not overwhelmed so that he can get a great education, retain a love of learning, and feel like he’s actually getting to become the best version of himself. You will need to do the work to make the fit. In addition to looking at what learning support is available, you may also want to consider some of the following:

Would a “block plan” be better by allowing him greater time on one subject for each class?

Is more structure (mandated study halls, no returning to dorms during the day) likely to help or does he have enough self-discipline that he’d resent that?

Does a more experiential approach suit him more?

Would he find Harkness frustrating (can’t keep up) or engaging (not boring)?

Will he be able to do the things that he loves outside of class (to feel happy, good about himself, and as a way to connect with others.)

I would be upfront during admissions interviews about what he needs. Schools really want to see their students succeed. It is so much easier for everyone!

And I would try to get him to think about what would be best for him both as a student and as a person. He will have this learning profile (in some form) for the rest of his life, so learning how to identify and articulate what will allow him to do his best work is one of the many skills he’s going to need. This is a great way to develop it and if he’s successful, to give him confidence in his ability to set himself up for success.

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My understanding is that a processing speed of 98 is average, not slow :wink:

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@gardenstategal , as usual, is spot on. I can’t tell from the limited bit of info how your son would do with the many elements that make learning at boarding school different. I wish I could help figure out the intersection of gifted and slow processing. That sounds like a challenge for sure.

On the one hand, there isn’t much make work at boarding school, so that’s good. On the other hand, discussion-based learning sounds like it might be a challenge for him. If he is advanced in math, how does he feel about a math class that doesn’t have a text book, just problem sets?

Is he a kid that will seek out help from teachers in his spare time? That would be a big plus.

Because it is on your list…Cate has learning support, and the homework load can be intense - but from what I read on the homework thread it isnt as nuts as some other places. But it isn’t a cake walk, either. The kids that thrive, along any part of the achievement spectrum, are those that seek out help from other students and teachers. Learning is very much a social endeavor at Cate. Is that social learning style something that works for him in his current school?

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Very helpful and a lot to think about. Thank you all.
@CateCAParent - DS currently does math worksheets and problem sets w/o textbooks per se and is thriving in a collaborative environment. Empathy does wonders for him. Teachers understanding that certain things can be hard and providing encouragement and support when needed can truly turn a situation around for him. Hard to prioritize schools based on this point as most if not all schools advertise how supportive and engaged teachers are. Being on the East Coast, the CA vibe certainly appeals to us, good to hear the hw load is not as crazy as other schools. DS is very athletic so that’s another aspect of CATE that appeals to us. Size matters also, we don’t want him to get lost in the crowd.

@gardenstategal - You raise a number of valid points for us to discuss with DS. I agree 100% that we need to help him embrace his learning profile and help him visualize what it would mean across various aspects of the BS experience. I have asked him about Harkness and we are thinking through that aspect in particular as some discussion based classes have been frustrating and others have been fun and engaging. Sports are very important for him and - to your point- would hate for his tank to be empty and for him to not be able to enjoy himself.

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@cinnamon1212 - Thanks, will certainly look at Milbrook. Glad to hear your DS thrived there.

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Another Cate parent here. If you decide to visit Cate your son will be able to attend a class. That could help him immensely in deciding if the discussion based classes will be too much for him. Cate always does a hybrid block schedule so you aren’t attending all your classes every day and there are some break periods built in to the school week.

How does your son approach homework? Will he use his free time? Will he study on the weekends? My kid is one that will use free time and the weekends to not only complete homework but to also work ahead. This has managed to keep the stress of homework at bay.

I also agree with other commenters that him being willing to ask for help and clarity when confused will be the key to his success at any type of school.

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Check out the parents sub forum here on CC. There is a thread on boarding schools that specialize in kids with disabilities. The accommodations vary among the schools.

Places like Andover and Exeter will not do a lot of hand holding. Its sink or swim. Then there are other schools with a more nurturing atmosphere. In general big fish/small pond is better than small fish/big pond.

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I just went back and re-read what you wrote. Sounds like he is good in math, but lags behind in verbal processing. He may be better in situations where there is more 1:1 interaction and less group discussion.

Avoid schools with heavy focus on Harkness method: Exeter, Lawrenceville, St Pauls, Andover, Choate, etc.

Instead focus on schools that have a learning center, or are used to handling verbal processing issues: Avon Old Farms, Northfield Mount Hermon, Brewster, Darrow, Eagle Hill, Pennington, Hun, Hill, there are many others.

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OP did say her son’s processing speed was average but I think it is slow compared to others with his comprehension - hence creating a dichotomy of ability that makes him hard to place. At least that’s how I took it. I also assume that most kids at the “top” boarding schools have very fast processing speeds, I’m not sure how they could survive otherwise.

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To @sealofapproval - feel free to DM me about specifics on this topic…but I would put the Processing Speed Index into perspective. Yes, 98 is solidly within the Average range. Relatively lower PS to higher scores on other indices is not uncommon in my experience. When you have really high verbal and visual/spatial Index scores, the Processing Speed may seem low but it’s right in the middle of Average. The FSQ you shared is VERY much above average. Possible reasons for having a RELATIVELY slower score on Processing Speed subtests include being careful not to make a mistake, being a bit anxious, being neat-meticulous, or (rarely)having slower fine-motor speed or having a slow visual-scanning speed. Where this difference may be worth your while pursuing further relates to test taking speed.

Does your student currently get extra time? Does your student have difficulties with hand writing? My kiddo had some issues with visual scanning when standardized testing started in lower school - would stand up at the desk to see smaller items on tests (much to the dismay of the teacher) and THAT is how we discovered the need for glasses.?

  • I agree with comment above - there are some well-known competitive (“sink or swim”) schools that do not do much “hand holding” and other schools that do provide a more accommodative approach to teaching. FWIW I am retired now, but I have personally worked with several schools (including those mentioned above) in the past and have a lot of respect for their faculty members. Your student may actually thrive at a school for typical learners and also with a Harkness focus, yet may need some accommodations for time. Ask the psychologist who did the evaluation for their opinion and recommendations.

If you do have concerns about finding the “best fit” for your student, here are some questions to ask yourself and the prospective school:

  • Ask yourself: How mature and/or confident is your child in advocating for themselves? Does your child have a sense of their learning style and needs? Realize that most BS’s want students to self-advocate to some degree - even as first year students. This is good for all students to know before BS.

For schools and yourself:

  • Do you provide accommodations for testing and how are these secured?
  • How do you work with the student in developing a plan for accommodations and/or support for individual needs?
  • How do we make sure my student will get extra time on tests (if needed)?
  • How can we secure accommodations for standardized testing?
  • Is tutoring available at the school and how often, by whom?
  • What are the different levels of courses in subjects such as math, science, CS, language?
  • How do you monitor my child’s progress - and how often does my child meet individually with the advisor?
  • Explain how your school does class/course placement?
  • Does your school have an office of educational accommodations/supports?
  • How many psychologists or counselors are on campus? What kind of oversight is there for my child’s 504-Plan or accommodation plan?
  • Do you allow for computer mediated testing or writing if my child has difficult with handwriting?
  • What are the structured study hours/halls at your school? Do students study alone in their rooms? Do students have set hours in a study classroom or library? Are their teachers present to monitor and/or assist with study hours? When are teacher Office hours (some have office hours during study hall and others at night, so if you’re a day student this may be inconvenient).
  • How often are you willing to give feedback to parents?

I am sure there are more tips and questions - just a start. Please don’t worry - your kiddo’s scores are strong and is lucky to have such a supportive parent!

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Haven’t read the entire thread. Has anyone mentioned Lawrence Academy. We know a number of families who have sent bright kids with some learning/processing issues there. Don’t know details but two moms I have spoken to have told me their kids are thriving. I think it also has kids who have no issues at all (third family we know).

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@sealofapproval — Honestly, the sports comment about Cate made me chuckle. It isn’t nearly as sports-oriented as the traditional East Coast boarding schools. There are no PGs and few repeats, so the student body skews younger than in other schools. That can make a huge difference on the field (I think in a good way).

Cate is tiny, and everyone has to do a sport every season, so a student gets to do a lot of sporty stuff. But the caliber of team play (with a few exceptions) isn’t over the top. If you want to play for fun with friends, Cate is great. If you have aspirations for D1 recruitment, not so much.

If your son is generally outdoorsy, though, then Cate has a lot of opportunity beyond traditional sports. My kid is more indoorsy, so I can’t tell you much about that stuff.

Cate is a place you have to visit to “get it”. It is weirdly and wonderfully nice, yet all about skill-building and accomplishing your goals. It is a bubble, if ever there was one. So if that kind of environment resonates with you, you should visit.

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Lawrence Academy is also a good choice for sporty kids. They have some fairly good teams and definitely a lot of school spirit around games. However, they also have a much wider range of student in terms of academic interest and ability. My guess is that is a trade off that will likely need to be made anyway.

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[quote=“Golfgr8, post:13, topic:2069687”]

To @sealofapproval - feel free to DM me about specifics on this topic…but I would put the Processing Speed Index into perspective. Yes, 98 is solidly within the Average range. Relatively lower PS to higher scores on other indices is not uncommon in my experience. When you have really high verbal and visual/spatial Index scores, the Processing Speed may seem low but it’s right in the middle of Average. The FSQ you shared is VERY much above average. Possible reasons for having a RELATIVELY slower score on Processing Speed subtests include being careful not to make a mistake, being a bit anxious, being neat-meticulous, or (rarely)having slower fine-motor speed or having a slow visual-scanning speed. Where this difference may be worth your while pursuing further relates to test taking speed.

Does your student currently get extra time? Does your student have difficulties with hand writing?

@Golfgr8 - Thanks for putting scores in perspective. DS has 504 plan in place but rarely needs extended time. Clearly, this is now, not HS. I would love to DM you but I don’t think I can as I’m new on this board. Not sure it’s possible for you to reach out? Would love your perspective. Thx

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[quote=“CateCAParent, post:15, topic:2069687”]

@sealofapproval — Honestly, the sports comment about Cate made me chuckle. It isn’t nearly as sports-oriented as the traditional East Coast boarding schools. There are no PGs and few repeats, so the student body skews younger than in other schools. That can make a huge difference on the field (I think in a good way).

Cate is tiny, and everyone has to do a sport every season, so a student gets to do a lot of sporty stuff. But the caliber of team play (with a few exceptions) isn’t over the top. If you want to play for fun with friends, Cate is great. If you have aspirations for D1 recruitment, not so much.

tell you much about that stuff.

@CateCAParent - This shows how much I know ?. Our current school markets it as an athletic school. I guess it’s all relative!

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Don’t get me wrong, there are some really good athletes at Cate, and they value sports there. They have athletic trainers and good coaching. The fields are beautiful. Soccer and cross country/track seem strong.

It is just a function of California high school athletic rules. There’s no athletic recruitment allowed.

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@ CateCAParent - do they have a transfer rule out there?..getting back to the OP - please don’t put your kid into a situation that may be too fast or too demanding - especially if your kid is going away from home for the first time or who may want to have “time” to enjoy other aspects of school besides studying.