Buying your adult kid a house or helping them buy one

Indeed, zoning laws are usually written at the instigation of NIMBYs with the objective of making it ever more difficult and expensive to build. What developer wants to buy a site and take the risk of having to change the law or being unable to build? (Actually the ones who do are often those with the right “connections” and campaign contributions, because they will get the biggest windfall if there’s no competition from other developers to buy the site).

How many politicians want to put the effort in to write appropriate laws in advance to encourage development on a level playing field? Sadly far too few…

1 Like

I would like to remind posters that politics are not permitted on the regular CC forum. If anybody wishes to write about the politics of the situation, they are invited to start such a thread on the Politics Forum. Thank you.

One of DD’s bridesmaids and her H just bought a home - I was so glad they purchased in the community that they did. Earlier they had something fall through, but it was not a good school district - and I wrote up some things to help them – I know her parents would not be of much help with housing advice, and IDK about his parents or his older sister (dad, older sister, and he are all MDs and he currently is in his specialty residency program). It turns out with a recent unexpected freeze, there was some flooding of their townhouse (and others in their community and in the area) that they were renting, so they got out of the lease w/o issue/penalty – DD’s townhouse is a few units down from the flooded unit, but the flooded unit was on the end while DD’s was more protected with units at both sides of hers. The gal works for a bank, and even so, they had some issues on getting the right kind of loan through. They bought FSBO, and they are having some work done on their purchased home, so DD has not seen it yet. Another of her bridesmaids got engaged and wedding in Nov. The only unmarried bridal attendant will be DD2, and it is delayed with her BF’s career and being located where she is.

Not my style, but anyone would be lucky to live in a place like this. It’s better then what most people in the world live in

2 Likes

My D and SIL closed on their house this morning & will get the keys tomorrow. Just over 1,000 sq ft, 3 BR, 1 B, fully remodeled, including wiring and plumbing. Under $600K. They saved over $10k on closing costs, what with credits and such.

They’re thrilled, we’re thrilled.

15 Likes

I was following this thread when it first started, but have not kept up with it. In the interim, my D and spouse have started house-hunting. In the suburbs of NYC, they can’t find anything for <$1M and ~$30k in taxes. They both have excellent jobs and are likely in the top 5% of earners for their age.

But they cannot afford a house in a decent school district. Neither set of parents is helping. Could it be that parents buying houses for their children or gifting them significant down payments is artificially driving the prices up? If my kids can’t afford the current prices at their income, very, very few can on their own incomes.

2 Likes

I don’t think parents helping with down payments is driving prices up. My opinion.

I’m in CT, and we are starting to see prices come down. Very few price wars now. Houses on the market longer and prices being reduced.

Tell them to hang in there.

My kid would have loved a house, but that was totally out of budget so he bought a townhouse instead. It’s working out well so far.

2 Likes

LOL, they said Stamford, Connecticut is the only commutable place they can afford.

Real estate markets are so local. We’re in the suburbs of Cleveland. My son and DIL are trying to buy a house—and although we are very fortunate not to have prices as high as the northeast—we are still seeing crazy bidding wars on every house due to the housing shortage. They have tried a few times already to get a house under contract this month and each time there has been over a dozen bids, with the price going for 10-15% above asking, within the first 48 hours. Very discouraging!

2 Likes

We are in CA and under 1 mil you can’t buy a house of any size in desirable neighborhoods. It’s hardly enough for a condo. My DS is house shopping as well for almost six months now and the houses he looking at just under 3 mill get sold in a weeks over asking price

2 Likes

My relative had to plead with seller to let her and her H but the house just under $2mm! There were others also bidding over list price but she was willing to let seller live in studio on premises rent-free for 6 months. That helped cinch the deal.

I am guessing that the $30K property taxes you mentioned in your earlier post was for Westchester? A $1 million home in Stamford shouldn’t have taxes anywhere near $30K, I hope!

There’s very little inventory, so while the frantic bidding wars have ended, homes are still going for close to asking. Some reductions and some sell for over asking, but nothing like last year.

Good luck to your D & SIL.

1 Like

Thanks. Westchester, Long Island, New Jersey. The hot place (and I understand why) is Port Washington, which they love, but, wow, the prices.

Stamford is more affordable.

1 Like

Both my kids bought homes on the Port Washington LIRR line. There are affordable homes but they probably need some updating. My advice is to remind them that their first home does not have to be their dream home. And yes, we did help with down payments, the in-laws, no.

2 Likes

I don’t want to sound like an grumpy old guy but yes someone’s first place should not be their dream home. We got married a year out of college and bought half of a duplex 1300 sq ft and one car garage. It was new construction but the rooms were small for sure.

Because it was new construction we had to wait 5 months for cable. I can also remember waiting about a year to upgrade from my college TV.

I did check on the estimate of the place now. It was new 1995 and now is double the cost +$15K. Probably still doable as I would expect the starting salaries coming out of college to be almost double compared to what got.

I will say the location was not great in terms of being close to things going on.

I do know that living in certain areas of the country is almost impossible. Here is an odd story. My D23 is on Spring Break in SoCal staying with roommate’s ex-stepdad(I know weird). The house estimates for $2.9M. It is about the size of my house. But while driving to Starbucks this morning they say Tiger Woods out for a walk. They were pretty adamant it was him. So it can all be about location.

I don’t know how FAR into the “NYC suburbs” they are looking.

But in quite desirable northern Bergen County, with excellent school systems, and commuter train lines into Manhattan - there absolute are towns where you can buy a perfectly fine 3 bedroom house with decent backyard for under $1m and under $20k in taxes.

While the above benefits remain the same - the choice between two neighboring towns can make all the difference - e.g.: Upper Saddle River vs. Mahwah, just to pick an example.

2 Likes

You can take a train from Mahwah to Manhattan?

The “Bergen Line” runs from Suffern NY down through Bergen County to the new Secaucus Junction. Similarly, the “Pascack Valley” line runs from Spring Valley NY and Montvale to Secaucus. You get some work done while on the train, or start catching up on reading or Netflix while winding down.

In Secaucus, you catch steady trains shuttling to/from Penn Station. Similar to changing subway lines.

That’s the reason why all those little towns along the Bergen and Pascack Valley lines are so popular with commuters.

2 Likes

Sounds like a long commute. As my SIL pointed out, the company wants people in the office three to four days a week, but doesn’t pay people enough to live within reasonable commutable distance.

3 Likes

How long are we talking about? I go by if you live in a large metro area anything less than 60 mins is the goal.