Maybe the roommate has a diagnosis of passive-aggressive disorder (from someone other than Snowdog) and is also registered with the disabilities office? We don’t know that she doesn’t have special accommodations too.
Just because OP has spent a lot of money on testing doesn’t mean all the experts are going to agree on the treatment or that the daughter is entitled to a single that isn’t available. If the experts said the daughter would do better with classes of only 25 students, is the school required to cap all her classes at 25? Schedule them all for the morning because she does best then? Waive a lab requirement because it is too stressful? No,that’s not what accommodation means. IF there is a single available, then the school should make the accommodation. If possible. The school can’t make other students accommodating or nice.
My sister teaches 4th grade. This year she has 31 kids,and half of them have IEPs, and one student has a Para because she has seizures. Every student can’t have a seat in the front row if that’s what the IEP says is optimal. Every student can’t have every test designed just for him or her.
We have to assume there is no single available because the housing office has said so. The disabilities office can’t make one appear. Kids are stacked like cord wood in other dorms and would be happy to have an apartment double. I do know lots of people with this diagnosis, who have to have singles (yet they can go to summer camps with shared dorms if that is the only optionand they want to go to summer camp, or travel with youth groups, or play on travel team and share rooms.). They have to make a choice sometimes of not living in the situation if the single is not available. Delay going to the school, commute, live off campus. Making another student give up a single is not an option. Making a double room a single when there is a housing shortage is not an option.
Just because some of us haven’t spent millions on a diagnosis doesn’t mean we don’t know what is necessary for our kids to be successful. My children had IEPs, so I know what works for them in education. More time helps, quiet spaces, sleep, food, teachers explaining in certain ways. I make it happen without the disability office. We plan schedules, plan for sleep and food, they head to the library if they need quiet time. It is not perfect. They get Bs sometime. The other girls in the suite may be like my kids, no longer on an IEP or 504, but still with the same issues. Maybe they just got their requests for singles in first. Maybe the sleep talking bothered the roommate so much because she, too, has issues and needs quiet time and sleepand that’s part of her plan with the disabilities office? We don’t know.