I never saw cocaine at the parties I attended in NYC in the early 80s, but I’ve been assured by other people who attended those very same parties that there was lots of it. I just apparently came off as someone who wouldn’t be interested and I was never invited into the rooms where it was happening.
I do think there were plenty of one-night stands. I feel like there was more mutual enjoyment though. I never heard of any women giving blow jobs without getting something in return.
I went to college in the mid 80s and there was plenty of coke. And mushrooms, and grass. Some pills, but not too many people were into that. As far as I know, there was no heroin around at all. I don’t know how much kids are drinking today, but man it sure seems like we drank a whole lot back then.
And let me give a guy’s perspective on the 'dating" culture question. Back in the day, meaning before there were cell phones, there was a fair amount of casual sex, and “hooking up” at parties. But in my experience, much of that required at least a minimal effort to talk with the other person and make some rudimentary plans in the hours and days before the event. Even something as simple as “Let’s meet up at Sig about 8” implied some degree of planning to get together, and an obligation to do so. It appears to me in the age of texts and instant communication that things are much more fluid.
From what I remember in the 1980s at a residential university campus, partying with alcohol was a big part of the lives of many (obviously not all) students. This included binge drinking to the point of getting stumbling drunk or passed out, which was not that unusual. Enforcement of the age 21 alcohol purchase requirement appeared nonexistent at many stores back then.
So it is not like binge drinking is especially new.
The link in the post is worth reading to the end.
http://kdvr.com/2016/01/19/wisconsin-woman-found-frozen-to-death-after-leaving-party-in-shorts/
Not UW but Wisconsin.
“I too did 2 walkouts to UW Madison (1983 and 1984) and it was soooo much wilder than NU in terms of drinking. There was just no comparison. It was a zoo. I’m ok with relatively sedate.”
A little history lesson. A lot of states dropped their drinking ages in the early 70s after Viet Nam and 18 year olds got the right to vote. Then they started raising their drinking ages in the late 70s as the anti-drunk driving movement caught on. In 1984 Congress passed a federal law that required all states to raise the age to 21 by the end of 1986.
So the college drinking you all are recalling could have been legal or illegal at the time, or partly both. Prior to the federal law there was a wide variety of differing approaches. 18, 19, 21 ages were used in various places and for various beverages – near beer, regular beer, wine and liquor.
If the amount of drinking and binge drinking is the same with the 21 law as it was under prior law, that tells you the drinking age increase is pretty ineffective.
The youth drunk driving stats are definitely lower in the U.S. today than in the 80s. But they also went down similarly in Canada over the same time period even though the drinking age there was maintained at 18/19.
Which all goes to show me that the higher drinking age really doesn’t do anything. But various anti-drunk driving measures were effective in reducing the harm. Which leads me to believe that you can make some progress on drunk sex assault. Which, as the stats tell us, are almost all of the assaults involving college students.
^^I would agree with this thinking and have for awhile now thought this made sense.
When people stop making excuses for unwanted drunk sexual acts, and speak out against sexual assaults as much as drunk driving, we will make progress against sexual assaults.
Society has zero tolerance for drunk driving.
Rising high school senior and I think this article makes a good point… how can you charge a guy with sexual assault if he didn’t know he was doing it? If a girl is unable to talk or use basic motor functions that’s a different story but if there’s a girl talking (and flirting) and a guy initiates a hook up and she seems fine with it how is he supposed to know that she doesn’t want it? Was he supposed to count her drinks and determine how tolerant she was? I acknowledge the fact that there are situations where boys take advantage of obviously intoxicated girls… or when one partner says no and the other ignores it… but it’s crazy how many people’s lives are ruined because one person got so drunk they couldn’t make a rational decision and the other person is condemned because they didn’t know this.
@a20171, are you a guy?
@dstark I think this is the crux of the matter. We had MADD that lobbied pretty much every entity out there to pass laws. Where is that concerted effort that ensures drunk people are being protected themselves? There is some stigma attached to starting a major campaign that says drunk people should be protected from assaults. The most effective way I see is that there are campus groups out there providing service just like the ones ensuring people don’t drive and there is always a few sober people taking turns to ensure the safety of everyone.
About an year ago, I was at a party where a mother of a girl thanked one of the boys who is attending the same U as her D. She complimented him for being a gentleman who took care of the younger girls and ensured that they returned to dorms to safely from the bars (her freshman D told her). I was joking that neither the boy nor the girl should have been at a bar based on their ages since they were both underage for drinking. OTOH, I don’t know how many other boys out there are looking out for their safety as opposed to taking advantage of someone who is drunk.
@dstark nope a girl… and yes I’ve been drunk
@texaspg, I agree with you.
The analogy to drunk driving is a poor one, because in that context the goal is to educate the individual about the consequences of his or her own behavior. In contrast, sexual assault policies operate, at least in part, to place responsibility for another’s actions on the accused. Not quite the same thing. And there are people out there lobbying and arguing for people, male and female, to take responsibility for their own actions. Those arguments are generally not received well here or in the larger popular culture.
@dstark, why would it matter whether @a20171 is male or female?
And by the way, has anyone here ever argued in favor of sexual assault? Why must the argument always devolve to “the other guys hate puppies”? Can you not see that people of good faith can debate the appropriate burden placed on each party in what is at least facially a consensual act? Or how the misuse of alcohol and other drugs can complicate the problem?
@20171,
Nobody should have sex with somebody else unless they know the other person wants to have sex too. I am talking about guys and gals.
It is against the law to have sex without consent. Since you asked about guys, guys have to be sure. Talking is sexy. Communicating is sexy. They are ways a couple can be sure.
Nobody should drink so much they don’t know what they are doing. Drinking is not an excuse for a behavior.
There are way more women who are assaulted than guys who are falsely accused. So… Protect yourself. Don’t get so drunk you have to rely on others to protect you.
@Ohiodad51, you know damn well there are guys making decisions while sober about what they are going to do while drunk.
I can’t believe what you say sometimes. If I get drunk because I want to get drunk, I should be allowed to do that without worrying that somebody wants to assault me.
There are always people watching out for people walking out of a party drunk planning to drive. Why can’t it be extended to ensuring they don’t walk out with a stranger?
I think there is a middle ground. The fact of the matter is if two drunk people end up together there is no plausible way to play the who was drunker scenario. The message has to bridge that or you will never get both sides to agree. And it has to be a message that will resonate with both sexes. I don’t have the answer but if two people are going to end up in a bed inebriated…what is the message?
I was told by a lawyer that ignorance is not an excuse under the law. Sex without consent is illegal. So you better make sure you have consent. If you are too drunk to know if you have consent, you are too drunk to have sex.
That might work…it is gender neutral…if you’ve been drinking you need to ask or something like that. won’t work in jack montague’s case because she said yes, then she no, then she said yes (tongue in cheek) all in one night.