I know it happens everywhere. The proof and lack there of is out there. Just learned that it happened to a friend’s daughter. She just started college this year, and it followed the same actions discussed by rape and sexual assault victims in The Hunting Ground documentary.
My heart is broken for them.
Teach your daughters to - not drink to oblivion, stick with a group of other women when at a social function, never let a female friend go off with a man when she is drunk, make sure any female friend is safely back in their dorm bed if they are incapacitated in any way (physically take them yourself!), and call campus security or police if you sense anything is wrong as it is happening!
@cardinal2020mom : PMing you.
Teach your sons not to rape and sexually assault people. Teach them about respect and consent. Hold them accountable if you hear your son or his friends objectifying women. As it’s usually men that do the raping, that is probably more important than post #1.
I have a teenage daughter, I know her friends, I have many nephews and nieces, I personally know lots of teenagers. Boys and girls. They are great kids!
How is it possible that colleges are full of rapists / molesters / girls who drunk themselves to oblivion / drugs / etc? Where does it come from? How do colleges select a team of deplorables from normal American kids?
I blame college admission officers with their zest for “unusual circumstances”. Looks like adcoms work hard to identify and admit the most unusual applicants with “unique life experiences” and “justice-involvement”. No other explanation for the epidemic of sex crime in colleges. According to statistics, colleges have higher rate of sex crimes than Detroit has! Wow, to adcomes!
Totally unfair and inappropriate to this thread, calforniaaa.
The girl I know well who was raped, was raped by an upper middle class white boy. His attorney father came to every hearing and court appearance.
What unusual circumstance should adcoms be looking for? Smug entitled males?
^^^So…you’re concluding that kids with “unique life circumstances” are more likely to rape/drink to oblivion?
I hope that one comment doesn’t lead to that one poster hijacking.
@californiaaa , that is by far the most absurd comment I have ever seen on CC. Just wow.
@Lindagaf As a father of two sons, I find your comments offensive and ignorant.
I think there is circumstances for every situation.
3 suggestions; if your drinking don’t touch opposite sex in anyway, save yourself for your bride, if you have any thoughts of rape go ahead and cut it off.
Sincerely
HS Male Senior
That’s too bad @MassDaD68 . As a mother of a teenage son and a college aged daughter, I find it absolutely necessary for both my kids to understand their responsibilities when it comes to matters of sex and consent.
I’m kind of speechless at where this thread went. How can it be controversial to all do everything we can to reduce college rape and sexual assault. Of course we should be warning our daughters to practice reasonable safety measures. Of course we should be teaching our sons to truly respect woman. Of course we should be encouraging our sons and daughters to protect their friends and stand up against rape culture whenever and where ever it rears its ugly head.
@MassDaD68 as a father of two sons, are you teaching your sons how to respect women? Have you had conversations with them about how to know if a girl has had too much to drink? Have you talked to them about “no means no” not “no means yes”? Have you had conversations with them and explicitly told them that just because they take a girl out for dinner and movie that they should expect nothing in return? If you have, fabulous … you are doing a great job. But, we still live in a world that condones “boys will be boys” and that they should trying to get as much “action” as possible. You may find Linda’s comments offensive, that is your opinion. But her remarks are by no means ignorant.
I cannot comment too often here as I am at work. However, my original post stated “your kids”, meaning both males and females. I also have one of each.
The intention of my post is to remind ALL of us to continue to inform our children of what can be found in college and in any place, for that matter.
All I can do, as a parent, is to have my kids have some idea to what can happen to them. Be aware.
I’m a little disheartened that some posters have taken this to other levels. But hey, that’s what one get when posting on a forum.
Once again, all I was hoping for was that maybe someone reading it, who wasn’t thinking about speaking with their child, will. Maybe a student reading it will have it in the back of their mind tonight when going to a party. And that, maybe, another friend won’t have to go through the same heartache.
This once again demonstrates how we can’t have threads on these topics on CC - I see the moderators moving in any post now!
I am not going to engage.
Your post is a good one. I will be discussing this topic again with both my kids.
In fact, this is worth posting in the College life forum, so that hopefully students will read it.
On one hand I agree that we need to talk to our daughters about not drinking excessively, etc, but on the other hand I feel like if a girl wants to drink that doesn’t mean she is deserving of being raped. She should be able to wear what she wants, go where she wants, drink what she wants. It pisses me off that she can’t. I also agree that people need to raise their sons to not rape or stand by and watch their friends rape. The real responsiblitly here lies with the males. If a child was being abused, would you suggest that they would have avoided the abuse if they listened to their parents? If someone was burglarized would people say they should have lived in a safer neighborhood? Just saying.