Can anyone comment on my Colgate Supplement?

College Essays
1

<p>I like to call myself an adventurous soul. I help little children learn Korean from a small Korean school in Buffalo, I have traveled around Korea, my home country, on my own and I took an internship at my father’s alma mater over the summer, and I decided to live in New Zealand at the age of 11.
One of my favorite pastimes is reading. I enjoy the relaxing feeling I get when I lay down in a comfortable position and peruse the writings of other people. Through absorbing the context of the book, I can see how people around the world perceive the world. Also, because I lived in a foreign country for a long time, I know how to respect different cultures and adapt them into my own lifestyle, as well as keeping my own culture within me.
I personally believe that the best way to learn about a person is by reading his or her written work. In my mind, literature is the ultimate tool to understand the perspectives of other people, because writing reflects on what they think, what they went through in their lives, and how they present their ideas. I want people around me to know where I came from, and as a result write a lot.
I am from very unique background, and I truly believe that Colgate is a kind of school that can really make me stretch this background and limit myself to nothing.</p>

<p>Any feedback is welcomed :)</p>

2

<p>What’s the prompt? Is the word limit 250?</p>

<p>“I help little children learn Korean from a small Korean school in Buffalo”
It sounds like the Korean comes from a small Korean school in Buffalo, which is probably not the case. Your second sentence list has two ands. </p>

<p>"I can see how people around the world perceive the world’
Replace world with it</p>

<p>“and peruse the writings of other people”
Peruse usually means you’re scrutinizingly, instead of relaxingly, reading.</p>

<p>I’ll add a little more, but I really wanted to point out that most of this is just telling and not showing. </p>

<p>“I know how to respect different cultures and adapt them into my own lifestyle, as well as keeping my own culture within me”
For example…</p>