I need some serious critiques preferably a experienced essay reader but any feedback would be helpful!!!
I can read it. Would you like me to PM you?
sure @WeLoveLyman
If you’re willing to let a fellow student read your essay, I can do it. Feel free to pm me. 
The common recommendation is to only send your essay to an adult with a long posting history.
@sofiaamachuca16 thank you!
Please do NOT send your essay to a student.
For starters, he or she has no experience in this field.
Secondly, you don’t know him or her. Your best friend would be a far better choice if for some reason you want a peer critique, though I can’t imagine what that reason might be.