<p>Possibly SUNY Stony Brook?</p>
<p>Or SUNY Binghamton </p>
<p>There are many ways to get more financial aid and many ways to cut college costs, and, yes, the well to do are often more apprised of those things than those who may need it the most. So it works with a lot of benefits, taxes, etc. Kid has $10K in his account from grandma–he had better move it a joint account with parent’s name and ssn first because otherwise it means $2K directly on the EFC. We see folks with 529s who want to hang onto that money when the very purpose is to pay for college with it. But there are the rules and we try to squeeze as much as we can within them. Nothing wrong with that.</p>
<p>Many divorce settlements are put together for a lot of reasons. I know some who have chosen to turn down child support and college payments for other goodies, and then when the years go buy, they regret that decision. It puts the other parent who may have paid for some of those things up front in a dilemma. There are a lot of sides to a story and situation. </p>
<p>Yes, there are many sides to a story for sure and it really isn’t quite possible to go into them all. I did take all the debt (including all the expensive attorneys fees that come with a custody battle) and 1/2 of the assets which were obviously way less than the assets. Takes a long time to financially recover from that. Ex has said that he wished he would have taken the child support instead, but that’s the last I’ve heard on the subject. I wish he had, too, as that really put a squeeze on me at the time and all the while interest was accruing on all those loans. I’m not shirking my responsibilities. I will help my kids with their college expenses. BTW, those expensive lawyers never once discussed or brought up who would pay for college. </p>
<p>Goingnutsmom, this topic reminds me of all the emotionally charged discussions that come up with URMs having an advantage in the admission process. Did your son say that he was not a URM so he wouldn’t qualify for any special consideration? “Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should.” I wouldn’t expect your son to lie on his application, just as we will not lie on any of our FA forms. It is what it is. Just calling it how I see it. (Normally, I wouldn’t go there but you got really personal right from the beginning so I’m responding in kind). </p>
<p>And from what I’ve read here, he will only qualify for the first year anyway because he will have my contribution after that first year. That will be discussed with the FA office from the beginning so he know what to expect for the following years. If I thought for one minute that his receiving the Pell grant would take it away from someone else who has more need than of course we wouldn’t even be having this discussion.
But that’s not the way it works. </p>
<p>As for how the whole system handles students with divorced parents, I do think it’s unfair. As I’ve said, I don’t agree with having my spouse’s entire income included in the mix. Nobody seems to care about that and if you ask people from blended families, I believe the majority would say that the current system is unfair. Seems like they should come up with a percentage to me. Unrealistic to think that every step parent will be willing to invest as much as a bio parent would. DH’s position is that DS should go to the least expensive college as one does not know what the financial future is for physicians or if he’ll even go into medicine (wise or self-serving. IDK, but I would know his motives were pure if he was DS’s dad). Perhaps if the system spent a little more time on the fact that many students come from blended families, they’d fix it. At this point, it seems like just an after thought to them. No uniformity and no way for students to know what to expect. Everyone else can run their info in the NPCs and know what to expect. We’re left to forage through forums to beg for info and expose ourselves to scrutiny in payment. Always feel like I’m wearing the scarlet letter ‘D’ on my chest…</p>
<p>As far as taxpayers footing the bill, I pay a lot of taxes- relatively more than people who make less. I’ve never once complained about that. I understand what it’s like not to qualify for things too. I never qualified for any tax breaks on the student loans that I repayed be because I exceeded the income limit. Never mind that I borrowed all that to get to that income. So in essence, I was a tax payer ‘footing the bill’ so others could reap the tax benefit, including those who were out partying while I was home studying. That’s not fair either and would you call them unethical or gaming the system for accepting that money when I could not? </p>
<p>It sounds like we just need to agree to disagree. I am very thankful for all the advice I have received here though. It seems I’m spending more time trying to explain myself than actually learning anything about the FA process. Off to more constructive endeavors. </p>
<p>Oops, got off task up there. I forgot to mention that Rhodes is already on the list. I found out about via curmudgeon’s recommendations. (We really trust cur, he(or she,IDK) is my CC crush! He’s very wise. If he told DS to ditch the Pell, he’d do it as I’m sure what ever his rationale was it’d be based in a lot more knowledge and experience than we have! While I’m putting it all out there, I was star-struck when M2CK and Thumper1 responded to my posts. Have a lot of respect for their opinions). </p>
<p>Per DS, doesn’t want to go to a large school (more than 18k) but again he hasn’t seen any. I’m thinking if he should at least see one smaller than UT and check out the vibe. Going to do a road trip for the Southeast schools as there are many on his list and will check out an OOS public in the area. Will start researching that. Thanks again.</p>
<p>Kinbel, though it’s a personal decision, i feel that whatever is legal and permitted, one should do to get the cost down as low as possible. </p>
<p>My friend’s ex had loan papers drawn up and every cent he gave the kids during those college years were loans, and he had an interest rate and collected payment each year on them while they were in school so that anything he gave them did not go on FAFSA for the following year as child support from him, or any money from him. People do the same when grandparents pay their way, and those amounts can lower financial aid after the first year. The loans are then forgiven upon graduation. </p>
<p>I don’t think you should have to explain yourself. You should be aware of all of the opportunities and strategies. Your student should not have substantial funds in an account, and if he has money saved, it should be put in a joint account with you or his other parent with parent name and ssn first, because student assets get hit 20% right of the bat on EFC, where you are not on the FAFSA and the custodial parent has an asset protection allowance and then only gets hit 5.6%. The asset figure that goes on FAFSA is as of the actual day it’s filed so don’t your ex and student should not do it on pay day or any time there are unusual funds in an account. These are just some strategies to consider. </p>
<p>Yes there are a lot of unfair policies in fhe fin aid process. Sometimes you end up on the wrong side of a policy, sometimes you make out. IF you can prepare, you can make out on some quirky rules in the mix. </p>
<p>Do realize that few schools meet full need as defined by FAFSA. They tend to gap , and many big time gap, so even with a zero EFC if a student wants to go away to school, the aid likely received by FAFSA only schools is not likely to cover it. The EFC is usually the least a student has to cough up before getting dollar one of aid. </p>
<p>OP, again wish you and your son the best in your college search. He will undoubtedly get into a great college with such a strong advocate on his side. I don’t feel that I should have to respond to questions from anyone and you shouldn’t really have divulged so much if you felt that you were doing things ethically and legally. Buena suerte.</p>
<p>Yes, Curmy is very wise and he is a “he”. I’ve been following his posts since his D was in high school in the fields with the goats, and now she’s a med student getting ready to move on to residency! lol </p>
<p>Glad to hear that you have Rhodes on your list. Your son will almost certainly get huge merit from them. </p>
<p>Again, I hope you’re able to convince your son to apply to a few of those big safeties like Rhodes. And, I hope you’ve made it clear to both son and ex how much you can/will spend per year on undergrad. </p>