<p>So, although my mum has been telling me for months that I would be able to visit my top 3-4 colleges, she is now saying that I can only visit one. I have never been even remotely near these schools before, and I don't feel I can make an educated final decision without at least visiting. </p>
<p>Every time I try to talk to her about it and explain how important it is to visit, she gets frusterated and leaves me talking to a closed door. </p>
<p>The schools in question are:</p>
<p>Wesleyan (visiting during Wesfest; tickets already bought)
Colgate (Alumni Memorial Scholar)
Oberlin
Muhlenberg (accepted to Dana Scholars)</p>
<p>Can I really make an informed decision without visiting?</p>
<p>I totally understand how you feel. I think visiting is an important decision (particularly if you're doing an overnight visit) because it allows you to experience the campus yourself. I know that when I visited Notre Dame, I immediately knew that I didn't feel comfortable there, even though everyone was genuinely sweet and caring. </p>
<p>I'm not going to visit Rice (or Houston) until I move into my dorm and I'm from NYC. Since I can't visit Rice, I have decided to ask current students how the school is (socially, academically, etc). Sure, I'll get a biased opinion but it still allows me to see how the general atmosphere is like.</p>
<p>You can probably get a pretty good idea of the feel of the schools by some research, including looking at posts on them on CC. For instance, in terms of the student cultures, Wes and Oberlin are more alike than any other two, but their locations are quite different.</p>
<p>Also, if you talk to students from the schools -- and the admissions office can arrange this -- ask them what they most like and dislike about the schools. The answers can be quite revealing.</p>
<p>It's about where you are going to spend the next four years, and spend a boatload of $$$ to boot. You will go through these four years of college exactly once in your life.</p>
<p>OF course you can't make an informed decision without visiting.</p>
<p>In my opinion.</p>
<p>You have tried your best to convince your Mom and she hasn't changed her mind...that is all you can do. Presumably she doesn't want to go into the extra expense this involves and yes even if she is going to pay for your college at +/-$35K, she probably doesn't want to start off with paying a few thousand on visits to decide where the $35k is going to be spent.</p>
<p>Try not to let it color your achievement and the exciting months ahead.</p>
<p>FWIW, if you're considering Oberlin & Wesleyan I think it's important to visit each.</p>
<p>It was her visit that convinced my daughter not to apply to Wesleyan. And it was her visit, and overnight, that convinced her to attend Oberlin.</p>
<p>Some others might make just the opposite decisions, given the same information and their individual personalities and preferences. But the point is there is important information that she picked up at each, that she found absolutely critical in her ultimate decision.</p>
<p>OF course if you only visit one college, and you select that college, then you will never know that some other place may actually have been a better fit. So you might never have the feeling that you missed something, or made a suboptimal choice. Whether you did or you didn't.</p>
<p>could you stretch out that one visit?
wesleyan to muhlenberg is about a 3 hour drive as is colgate to muhlenberg.
wesleyan to colgate is about 4 hours</p>
<p>Is there any way you could pay for part of the costs of a visit? I know there are a lot of factours- siblings, your mum getting leave from work, and so on- but if you are able to contribute that might help a lot. </p>
<p>Meanwhile, I recommend looking through the school's websites and looking for a section that offers a way to communicate with a current student to ask questions. If there isn't one on the website, call the admissions office for more information. Yes, these students will have been picked out by the college and will be students who not only will probably want to sell the school but who probably are very much enjoying their time there and can't imagine life anywhere else, but asking the right questions is important. If they can put you in contact with a current student, ask the student questions like, "What is your least favourite thing? What's the hardest part? How are problems within the dorm dealt with?" in addition to the "positive" questions. :)</p>
<p>Now for a stranger suggestion, but it is something I actually did. Many college students have Facebook. If you have a Facebook, you are probably registered under your school and you can search for people who went to or go to your school. If they are alumni of your school, their current colleges should be listed with your school. I wouldn't and didn't send a Facebook message to a random person from a school I was interested in, but I did find a girl who had gone to my school before me and was a current student at a school I was interested in and sent her a message asking about her transition from our high school to her current college. If you can find someone who went to your high school and goes to a college you are interested in, even if just by asking around your school or at your office, you might want to pursue that contact. (This was a little easier for me because I go to a tiny private school.)</p>
<p>Also, and I know this is an off change, do you know anyone considering these schools, or who could be interested in a visit to them? This might even be someone in the grade below you just starting her college search. You might be able to go with them, of course at your own expense, no matter how they go. If they are flying, arrange to go "with" them- go on the same flight, split the price of the rental car and the hotel. This way, if leave is a problem for your mum, she won't have to take it.</p>