<p>Hi guys,</p>
<p>I am an artist/writer who is trying to find a career to support myself that is worthwhile, intellectually challenging, and able to leave me space to continue writing songs, stories, and painting. While I am getting a strong album together, have had tons of work published and am continuously writing, and am improving my ability with watercolors and charcoal, there's no guarantee that I'll make, it and I want to live comfortably if I don't.
The idea of becoming a therapist or otolaryngologist (ENT) appeal to me particularly strongly, for very separate reasons. In the case of the former, I have been told repeatedly that I am very insightful about the characters of others (which is what allows me to be a good writer/musician/artist) and tend to attract people with a lot of mental health problems.
I kid you not. Every single person I am close to, in one way or another, is mentally ill. Mom has depression. Dad's half of the family is very ADHD. Several of my friends are bi-polar, depressed, and/or ADHD. Every boy I have dated and/or loved has been depressed or had ADHD. I can't believe that this is a coincidence. If people who are not well mentally are going to be drawn to me, I feel like I should get professional training and help them as I can (including providing medication, as needed). One of the most satisfying feelings I have ever gotten in my life is finding the good in a troubled heart, and I feel like that sensation is what's needed to become a good therapist.
My only qualm with this that I have a very intense phobia of surgery. I've had 10 in my life, and three of them were botched (awake for intubation for one and uncontrolled bleeding for two). I don't know if I should become a psychologist, rather than psychiatrist, to administer therapy, or if I should kick my surgery phobia and pursue the latter. Additionally, I fear that, should I gain inspiration from a patient's for art, a song, or a story, I would be sued under a breach of confidentiality.
My interest in ears, nose, and throat medicine comes from being an ENT patient myself. I have had lifelong trouble with that area. Every surgery I have ever had has been on my ears. I know a lot of secrets, tricks, and ways to make life as an ear patient easier because of my own experiences. One huge problem with medicine, I have found, is that very few people are straightforward about procedures. They fear that, if they are, the patient won't do it. As an ENT with personal experience, I would be able to be straightforward with a patient and put together a list of ways to ease any pain following the procedure. I've even kept a list of creative ways to help ENT patients since I was thirteen. Again, the only thing that's stopping me from considering it is my fear of surgery.
What I want to know is if this fear is worth overcoming to pursue medicine as a way to support myself through the arts, or if, to be a doctor, medicine should be my first and foremost love. If I were not an artist and pathologically afraid of surgery, no question about it, I would pursue medicine. Even as an artist, it still permeates everything I create. This has been a very hot debate, and I want to get the opinion of people who are pursuing medicine before I make up my mind.</p>