Back in the day, you could save up your summer job money, work part-time during the school year and you would have enough o pay tuition, room & board. Not today.
I think this was Father’s delicate way of explaining that his daughter has Mafia connections and can make the college folks an ‘offer they can’t refuse’.
To a certain extent I think that’s true. It’s hard to really wrap your head around these concepts, especially since in our society it’s commonplace to be very tightlipped about money to begin with. You also have a lot of threads where students come here to fish for the responses they want and get angry if they are told that their plan to borrow $40,000 a year from Sallie Mae is somewhat unrealistic. Understanding personal finance at that age is like waiting until you are in high school to start learning a language; it’s possible, but waiting that late to start just makes it needlessly more difficult.
On the other hand, I’m not sure that this is a good reason to lie to kids about the realities of a financial situation. Public school teachers aren’t the problem with that; the problem is that parents aren’t comfortable talking to their kids about money, counselors sometimes aren’t knowledgeable about what goes on in financial aid, and college-bound teenagers are too willing to believe the most rosiest/pie-in-the-sky rumors (“millions in scholarships go unclaimed every year!!”) while studiously avoiding real information.
It is hard for anyone, especially a kid, to see others going off to his/her dream school and not being able to go. But that is reality. I would not be so quick to assume that all of these parents did not at least have some discussion with their children about affordability. The kids may not listen or presume that something magical will happen.
For me, the recession change a lot about how much I was willing to pay for college. It was easier in 2007 to think everything would keep rolling along and that a college education would guarantee a high paying job. And COA has gone up almost $18K at the school my eldest attended from 2007 to 2014 (7 school years).
It does seem like more people are talking about/concerned about costs this year than they were back in 2007. The prospect of paying $65,000 per year seems like a big lift even for those that are reasonably well off. People seem more reluctant to go full pay when there is money on the table at even a “lesser” school.
Financial aid seems easy to figure out but it isn’t always. There are schools that meet need and those that gap. I still see posts that say it always cheaper to go private than public, but that is only true if your income is low enough to qualify for a lot of need-based aid and if the school does not include massive loans in the package. When the COA of a private is $40K more than an in-state public, the package has to be very big to make up the difference. And if the income is that low, the in-state may also offer some funding.
I feel bad for kids that get erroneous advice, but take some of the posts with a grain of salt. Most kids whose parents are not well off see that they are limited in what they can spend compared to other kids. Where do think the money for a $63K plus per year school is going to come from? They may not know exact amounts, but should have some idea of where they stand.
Thank you all for the thoughtful responses. I wasn’t looking to place blame anywhere, but just to lament the fact that people don’t realize that things have to be paid for (either up front, or years… and years… and years later). I was telling my wife yesterday that a great memory of mine was when we were driving away from my son’s financial safety (they offered an almost-full-tuition merit scholarship) and he decided that was where he wanted to go. It took all day for me to stop smiling. It was a good thing. The month before he started school, I got laid off from work. I had a good severance package that carried me over six months until I got another job, but that was luck (again).
People nowadays don’t buy a car or dishwasher without the most REALLY basic of research. So unless the parents are neither proficient in English nor unable to access internet, I have ZERO sympathy.
All schools have cost calculators. The calculators results will not be perfectly accurate, but they do give the approximate magnitude to expect.
The prestige-crazed, fullpay parents in the “income donut hole” who pursue ivy schools which give no merit aid, should have their heads examined.
I have told many, many parents to start with the online calculators and talk about that sweet spot of need vs merit aid for YOUR CHILD AND YOUR FINANCIAL SITUATION. This seems to be all news to people and somehow something that otherwise very smart people seem to not understand (or not want to understand). My dear friend and dog walking partner was one of these parents who just refused to do this even when I told her time and again how it works. They had a private counselor telling them not to worry about money and telling the kid (independent of parents) that he should apply to Cornell ED and not apply for FA. He applied to a number of schools without doing the FAFSA that they could not afford. Unreal!!
There’s a reason the NPCs are on the colleges’ websites. Isn’t it required by law. I think we all agree costs are rising exponentially. Parents who paid $40k Max for their education ( or rather their parents) have that in mind as savings for their kid and then are surprised when it’s 4x that.
As for our kids, I work in the international travel industry and I see Americans having a sense of entitlement greater than any other. This bleeds over into the kids. They just can’t fathom not going to a “dream school” after acceptance.
I also think that many parents and kids have a misplaced idea of work = reward and general specialness. There are soooooo many great kids who do great things, even at your own HS, that you just don’t know about. People feel that because they or their kid worked amazingly hard they must rise to the top. In other words, people just don’t get out much. To cut a little bit of slack when we all did this it was easier and cheaper so many parents haven’t woken up to the new reality. They also have trouble putting aside the pride and aiming for the 75th% and above for money rather than counting on being the squeaker inside the Stanford accepted student range.
I feel for them simply because the process isn’t straightforward, Yes, some basic principles are. The federal methodology is, but NPCs may not be accurate for people who don’t have simple income situations. The awarding of institutional money obviously differs at every single institution. I’ve worked with college freshmen for a long time. Every year, ai try to explain the basics of their federal loans to them. It’s like I’m speaking Martian. So, here we have families trying to compare offers from different schools with differnt policies for awarding money. And, at the end of the day, if there’s only one affordable option and it,s no one’s favorite, I do kind of feel bad for the people in that situation.
My introduction to the financial reality of college came in D’s junior year, at a free seminar in a local library by a private college counselor. That was when I learned I’d be expected to pay the whole bill, and that even a stepparent’s salary and assets came under scrutiny by the CSS schools. Talk about shock! But since then I’ve been researching the money nearly as much as the quality of student experience.
So while my years of frugality are fighting against spending a ton of money for undergrad, CC has eased the stress a little by informing me that many science post-grad degrees come with funding
True, but for a large percentage of students, the net price calculators give much better estimates than the previous situation of “I heard that [college X] gives {good,bad} financial aid” when deciding whether a college is likely to be affordable. One would hope that they allow some students to eliminate wasted applications to schools that won’t be affordable, or realistically reclassify their chances at some other schools based on needed merit scholarships, rather than merely admission.
Still . . . I know people who are conventionally employed and have a “traditional” intact family who can’t seem to grasp the basics of merit vs need and how to triangulate their finances, their kid’s profile and fit/desire.
May I suggest that the title to this thread is excessively dramatic? Yes, it’s disappointing to a student when a preferred school (I refuse to use a nonsense term like “dream school”) is beyond reach financially, and it’s a shame when lack of parental preparation means the family had unrealistic expectations, but this is not a heartbreaking situation. So long as a student has health and a way to attend college–even if a gap year or some time at a cc is necessary–life will go on just fine. When students post about how devastated they are that they can’t afford one or more schools, they need a brief pat on the shoulder followed by a reminder that attendance at any particular college is no guarantee of lifetime success and happiness and that their own drive and determination will mold their future more than their alma mater. There’s way too much real heartbreak in this world to wring our hands over teenagers who don’t get what they want.
In reference to a comment above - the net price calculators ARE required by federal law. It was one of the reforms that were instituted by the Obama Administration after they came into power, including an increase in Pell grants, which was funded by removing the middle-men from student loans. Before that change, banks were making a fortune churning out federal loans with no risk to themselves.
I always suggest to check the NPC before putting a school on the list. One may put a couple financial reach schools on the list if there is a chance for merit scholarship(s) there.
Colleges cost a lot. But that is the reality. I am always astonished by the sense of entitlement that many families have in terms of expecting to get so much aid. Or assuming their child automatically should get merit aid.
I am overwhelmingly grateful for the need-based FA my children have received. And both also got merit-based offers at schools they chose not to attend. But since we are a family who qualified for need-based FA, we also do not have the perks many other middle class families have, like great vacations, lots of new gadgets, or even a functioning dishwasher. There is no safety net for my kids for after graduation. They will not be getting a car, or a trip to Europe, or help with their rent wherever they go. THAT is the reality for families who receive FA. Again, I am so grateful that we received it. But families who pay full freight have other resources, and the colleges know this.
This is a contender for most heartbreaking circumstances
This should not be happening in this country. College education should be available to all. The outright greed of the rich who refuses to share their wealth in this country is sometimes mind boggling and has lead to a decaying system of higher edducatuon
I don’t want to point any fingers at the educators, but I’m a junior in high school and the first time I ever heard anything specific about college admissions was in the middle of March this year. This was also the first time I have ever met w my guidance counselor to talk about college and if I hadn’t had questions we wouldn’t have talked for long anyway. And my school is in an upper middle class suburban area, so it’s not like we don’t have a ton of students going off to college.
I’m sorry but that is just kind of ridiculous. And I doubt it’s very different at most high schools around the country. College admissions are SO broad that these facts about financial aid, selectivity of schools, how to apply, what you need to be doing to get into a good school aside from good grades, etc etc need to be drilled into students brains from the day they walk in freshman year- but let’s face it, it’s not.
Yeah, students can come on here or similar websites and seek answers. In fact, many do. However, I don’t know about you, but when I was first looking into the specifics of applying to colleges it was incredibly overwhelming for me. I hardly knew where to start. It’s still a huge learning curve for me. It should be the HIGH SCHOOL’S job to gear us in the correct direction from day 1… I mean isn’t high school just preparation for college by today’s standards anyway?
In my opinion, I’d blame a lot of the “I can’t afford my dream school” on ignorance and I think a lot of that could be helped w the assistance of high schools. I’m sorry but when the very first time I was ever told to take the ACT/SAT was in March of my junior year and they didn’t even give specifics on how to register etc etc that’s just sad.
@florida26, college is available for everyone but not the specific schools a student may want. Almost every student has access to their community college except for those who are geographically isolated. They also have very low priced instate schools. The difference is the students and their families who believe they should go to a top 50 college at the community college price or cheaper. How many times have you seen a student dismiss the directional instate or CC choice as beneath them and their intellect?
The issue is too many students and families have not determined their actual financial safeties and assume the top schools will provide enough funds that families will either pay a portion of their EFC or nothing.
The rich in this country donate heavily to the colleges and universities. These donations provide the merit and need scholarships that make the more expensive schools more affordable and an option for more students.
Once you go on a few college tours, you will see the higher education system in this country isn’t in decay as you see all the constuction of new classrooms, dorms and recreational buildings.