<p>Weenie: My kids think we should go out to dinner for every occasion too! Good report card, acceptance, Goundhog Day, you name it. I am beginning to wonder about my cooking.</p>
<p>editrix -</p>
<p>"Frankly, I don't think she'll remember many of the specifics, just her family's overall feeling of joy..."</p>
<p>Good thought to keep in mind. Thanks.</p>
<p>pattykk - :D</p>
<p>We celebrated older S's first acceptance (safety) and his second acceptance (1st choice school). I think we ordered in pizza, something that he enjoyed. We gave cheers for the other acceptances, but didn't bother to have a big celebration.</p>
<p>digmedia-
Is there anything that your son is really into?? And how much time do you have?? For a family event, several years ago, we took the well-known Einstein poster with the"Imagination" quote under it (the one with Einstein wearing a tie and his hair sticking out in all directions) (here's the poster- <a href="http://www.art.com/asp/sp.asp?PD=10008870&RFID=765667%5B/url%5D">http://www.art.com/asp/sp.asp?PD=10008870&RFID=765667</a> )and had our son's face digitally superimposed on top of Einstein's, so it was my s's face and Einstein's hair, bow-tie, etc. Then we took the original poster of Einstein and put a "bubble" ( you know- the way they show a character speaking in a comic strip) with Einstein's poster saying to my son's poster "Congratulations [name of kid]" and put them sid-by-side on easels. It was classic! We still have them in the basement!!
Feel free to use the idea-- except if the Falcons lose. Then I rescind my offer :)</p>
<p>When our oldest got a full scholarship somewhere I put balloons on the lamp post. Did the same thing when his SAT scores came back. However, our feelings now are, you will be paying for that acceptance, so 'good job ' seems appropriate.</p>
<p>Well, I guess I win with the hoopla. We didn't do much when she got her acceptance because it came on the day of the winter band concert with a solo (rollercoaster day). When I got home from work that day she wouldn't let us have a congratulatory hug, too wound up about the concert. I ordered her T-shirt.
After Xmas, though, we went on a mother-daughter weekend, ostensibly to shop for heavy weather clothes as she will be making a major climate change, but actually just for fun and to celebrate her acceptance. Wandered around a mall, had an extremely nice dinner, talked a lot, went to the zoo, ate pizza, went to a movie - quite satisfactory weekend!</p>
<p>In my family, I don't think we did anything special. We were just like, yeah, of course Charlie got in to Harvard EA, we expected that. And then I cried a lot and felt inferior when I didn't get into Yale EA.</p>
<p>Though we were thrilled, S's acceptance to Yale was tempered with our D's waitlist to med school which really devastated her. I think a private celebration is certainly in order but if you have younger children, do remember that they are watching and listening. Perhaps your other kids are not going to be Yalebound, and it can really affect the psyche. Just be aware of what you saying as you celebrate. We celebrated all of the acceptances with joy. Heck, in this house any good new is a call to celebrate.</p>
<p>"I think a private celebration is certainly in order but if you have younger children, do remember that they are watching and listening."</p>
<p>VERY good advice. We went out to a nice dinner when the MIT EA acceptance came through for S1, but avoided overdoing it. S2 is likely to have a completely different college application experience in two years... but we'll go out to a nice dinner then when he receives a hoped-for acceptance, too!</p>
<p>That is exactly why I especially wanted to celebrate my D's ED acceptance. Her older brother is more like your S1 and she definitely observed and was affected by all of the hoopla made over him by us and the whole school community when he received many coveted acceptances and awards three years ago.</p>
<p>I think everything private is fine, but wearing the sweatshirt to school? What about the kids in the school who didn't get into that college...?</p>
<p>Dinners out were always a celebratory activity in our house. Reading some of the posts made me realize some of the minefields we missed by having only one child. No need to be reserved with one eye down the road...we could be as exuberant in private as we wanted. I think my D wore her Smith sweatshirt to campus after she decided but since the most common reaction was going to be "What's Smith?" I didn't see a problem. HYS may have called for a bit more discretion.</p>
<p>i think that if you're a kid, and if you got the acceptance you werent expecting, mentioning the name of the school is enough. haha i speak from experience.</p>
<p>I personally think a sweatshirt is a sweatshirt and, therefore, a sweatshirt bearing a college name should contain no emotional significance whatsoever.</p>
<p>Few people know I was accepted: only the teachers who wrote letters, some close friends, and--of course--most of CC. My relatives have never even heard of Princeton. It gave me a very personal satisfaction of accomplishment--one that no materialistic object could give.</p>
<p>And if some kid feels like crying when they see you wearing a sweater that says "Harvard", "Princeton", or "Yale"...he/she probably needs a psychological evaluation.</p>
<p>All involved were sure that D should be accepted ED, but should and would are what confounds us in college admissions. When acceptance arrived, D played low-key, and I cried. I made her favorite dinner, we called relatives, and that was that. The against-all-odds moment came at the senior awards when D was named the outstanding senior female in her class, as judged by school and community members. Never had a clue she was held in such high esteem, and we basically walked around in shock for the rest of the evening. Never got around to a celebration activity. </p>
<p>Every year, as a teacher of seniors, I dread the 15th of December and the 1st of April. As kind as most kids are toward each other, it breaks my heart to watch their interactions among the ecstatic and depressed. My congratulations and sympathies must all be expressed privately. The climate of the classroom changes dramatically for a couple of days.</p>
<p><<In my family, I don't think we did anything special. We were just like, yeah, of course Charlie got in to Harvard EA, we expected that. And then I cried a lot and felt inferior when I didn't get into Yale EA.</p>
<p>FrecklyBeckly:</p>
<p>Oooh... that post stabbed my heart. It is so hard both for the family of twins and for the twin when one gets what one has strived for and the other doesn't. As a parent, you want to jump up and down for the successful twin but not make a big deal out of it to the other one. </p>
<p>After seventeen years, our family has finally learned that we have to celebrate everyone's successes, even when someone is disappointed with their outcome. And you will have your success for sure ... whether it's Yale or elsewhere. </p>
<p>I bet your brother's joy is tempered with anxiety that you get what you want too.</p>
<p>That's true. About celebrating everyone's successes, I mean. The decisions in this admissions process should be taken with a grain of salt - perspective is everything, here. </p>
<p>On the other hand, I've grown up for seventeen years always second-best to my brother. I'm frequently referred to as "Charlie's sister" by people at school, despite the fact that I've made quite a name for myself at school and in the community for my work on the school paper and as a singer. And, inevitably, teachers compare our academic progress - he always seems to get straight A+s without doing a thing! Seriously, he turns things in late, he doesn't go to class, and he's still valedictorian. I tried hard for years to be on par, but I just never have been able to make it. And it felt like my inferiority to him was validated when I was deferred from my top choice school while my twin was accepted. </p>
<p>Anyway, I'm sure his joy is tempered with anxiety about me, especially since he is my bc calculus teacher (!) and I'm wasn't doing well in that class first marking period. (n.b. you're beginning to see how I could possibly have an inferiority complex re: him) But that doesn't calm my aching psyche, you know? </p>
<p>How did (or are) things work(ing) out for your twins?</p>
<p>Oh, yes. It is very hard to calm that aching psyche. </p>
<p>I've read a few of your posts, and I can easily see that you are just an amazing person, not to mention an incredibly talented one. </p>
<p>I won't say too much about my twins on this board. I want to maintain confidentiality, as they are just juniors and have a way to go in this college process. </p>
<p>Suffice it to say that I live with a very similar situation as the one you and your brother have. And my twins are both exceptional students too (though neither can sing to save their lives.)</p>
<p>How do your parents deal with this "second-best" issue?</p>
<p>Feel free to PM me.</p>
<p>Oh Becky I never knew you were a twin! That is very awesome. I think my twin died before we were born :( In the end, even though you feel overshadowed, are you still glad that you have a twin?</p>
<p>How is he your Calc teacher? That confuses me...</p>
<p>All your celebrations sound very lovely. I am starting to think my kid got jypped here. I don't recall any big fanfare. We always get excited and happy for our kids when they achieve something. They call their grandparents, stuff like that. I don't remember doing any special celebration type thing over acceptances. Also, there was not one singular first choice and so my D never wanted to buy any paraphenalia with college insignia until she decided where to matriculate. She revisted three schools after acceptances came and decided on the spot at one of them, Brown, that she wanted to go there for sure and we bought stuff at the bookstore before leaving as a special thing that brought closure (or a new beginning) to her long admissions process. Other than that, I can't recall a big thing and it was all within the house and also calling grandparents. I mean we just got back from being at my D's college race in NH where she has been for a month and brought her home for two nights before returning to college and she had a very successful weekend of racing that she feels great about and we were happy for her. I realize this is not college admissions or anything but whenever they accomplish stuff, they usually call up grandparents to tell them and that is about the extent of it. Sometimes when I hear of more of a big deal being made, like some parents give money for straight A's and stuff like that, and my kid gets that and we congratulate her and tell her how proud we are and all that jazz but there is no big big to-do made. In fact, she was really against our holding a graduation open house following her graduation and we felt we wanted to do something for the occasion but she thought that was a bit much! Hm. We give big kudos here and lots of excitement when achievements happen but no big celebratory events for these accomplishments (though we do celebrate birthdays and things like that). I guess I never thought of doing some big celebration over college admissions but now I am thinking maybe we don't do enough every time they achieve big things because everyone seems to be going all out. Our "congrats, we are so proud, yay, let's call and tell Grandma and Grandpa...." is looking pale in comparison!</p>
<p>Susan</p>