Chemistry student in tears

College Majors Science Majors
1

<p>I am new here, and come in hopes to see if there is anyone, just ANYONE that perhaps is struggling the way I am and is also a science student. I guess I kind of am looking for hope that things can get better. I will be graduating school in one year, I've been struggling in school for a long time and I took it as just me not being as good as my classmates, or just me having terrible luck. </p>

<p>When I graduate I will have been in school for 7 years, and it just makes me even more depressed because my family says mean things about my not having finished faster (they don't pay for my tuition at all though so it's not because they believe I'm spending their money). Both my parents are now unemployed. I come from a very troubled hellish past, and am a 1st generation college goer. Recipe for disaster and struggle? Maybe, but I guess at some point I though I could still accomplish something. </p>

<p>Anyways, I love to learn, and I love science. There's a certain comfort I get from learning, but for the past couple of years I seem to get this terrible terrible anxiety whenever I test in classes. Semester after semester it's only been mediocre grades. This learned anxiety rears it's ugly head because I will constantly reflect on the time I failed a class and I will cramp up, get migranes, feel nauseous, the works. If you're familiar with what the body does when it feels it's in major trouble (and I mean either you live or die type of trouble) you know it ramps up adrenaline to keep you alert and alive, then when it feels like the trouble is gone your body crashes. This is what happens to me, and the crash feels terrible.</p>

<p>I recently got diagnosed with narcolepsy after my having invested in some major expensive testing. Now I just can't help but bawl my eyes out because it took this long to find out, because I can't go back in time and apply my treatment back when I started as a freshman, because I'm jealous of my friends who are so cheery and stress free and despite them knowing less about research and chemistry than I do they seem to be able to memorize enough information to convince the professor that they're good students and get A's (don't get me wrong I adore the very few friends I have).</p>

<p>But now I feel like no one will ever in their right mind will ever hire me or consider me for work in chem or recruit me for grad school after looking at my transcript. Despite the vouched work ethic from previous employers I feel people will think I'm stupid. I tell you I've worked so hard all my life to get where I am and have sacrificed so much I can't help but feel depressed and doomed to repeat my family's poverty cycle. </p>

<p>I know I love to learn and it's comforting because I've worked on things like learning mandarin, computer code, and learning to play an instrument on my own. I know a gpa is not everything, but I feel like no one will even give me the chance to show them what I know and am capable of...</p>

2

<p>Try to keep things in perspective. There are millions of people out there who will never be given even the chance to attend college, let alone graduate in a year. Now that you’ve identified a major medical condition which is likely a major cause of your struggles, you can address it and move forward. If your testing anxiety is that bad, you should probably see a therapist and work on ways to deal with it. </p>

<p>Whenever you start feeling all emo and wondering why you were dealt such a rotten hand, think about those who are enduring hardships orders of magnitude worse than yours. Knuckle up and figure out what’s in your way and knock it the ***** out. As you get your rejection letter from the hundredth interview, apply for the 101st. That’s all you can really do.</p>

3

<p>I’d say make an appointment to talk with a counselor at your school. When I was teaching chemistry at a big university, I had students from all kinds of backgrounds dealing with all kinds of problems. It sounds like you’ve been through a lot, and been through it alone, and talking to someone who is familiar with your situation can give you some immediate relief from the stress. Some of my own students went to a counselor during the semester they were in my class, and I could see that it helped. They may even be able to arrange alternative testing conditions (such as allowing you more time, or taking the test in a separate location) to help with the test anxiety.</p>

4

<p>Art2Cs, yes I am aware that there are worse things that can happen. Then again 99% of the time with any of our problems there are always worse things that can happen. I wouldn’t exactly call that being “emo” but yes the only thing I can do is continue applying. Thanks</p>

<p>Spdf, I like your username hehe. Yes I believe it is time for me to start seeing the counselor in my school again. Thank you.</p>

5

<p>i am not sure if you are just a chem student or chem Engg student. I just know this. In reality there are graduates with all sorts of GPA. Right from GPA 2 to 4. Lots of People with just 2.5 GPA have done very well in their lives and several times even same as the ones who have scored >3.5 GPa. So, remember one thing. Just Graduate (very important). You will go somewhere. World is too big and It is not complex. Mother earth accommodates people of all colors and capabilities. Never loose faith in life.</p>

6

<p>Thanks a lot! I’m taking baby steps at the moment.</p>