No, loans are not required. My older ds took some; ds2 hasn’t, though they were offered. I was OK with ds1 taking on less than $5k in loans because they were subsidized. He has enough money in savings to pay them off right now (this month he makes his first payment), but he wants to build a bit of credit history so will pay on them for several months and then pay them off when he gets his education award from his Americorps job. Not all loans are created equal. Buyer beware.
We started saving money for college when our sons were infants. By the time they were in h.s. we had saved enough for each of them to attend the instate public u. of their choice. We did not want college debt hanging over them when they graduated.
S1 had enough scholarships to cover his four years of college.
S2 was full pay.
Kids from our town/state flock to our publics. The cost of attendance is considerably less than many other states.
Wow, lots of responses. My question was around them taking on some financial responsibility for their education, even if you can cover the cost, not specific to motivating them to do well. I don’t talk specifics with friends or family about what and how I will cover her tuition. However I do talk specifically about the extent of the responsibility they feel their child has in the overall cost, regardless of what the overall cost is.
I think there are a lot of benefits to her having her contribute. She can do it through working or small loans to build credit history or more than likely both. I was just curious what others thought.
If that is the narrowed definition, then my response is no.
“Yes- profile schools require a student contribution.”
But the student doesn’t have to be the one to pay it. We pay the amount of the student contribution and the small loan amount (think it was up to $1800 this year) the school had in his FA package.
We don’t believe in the principle of having skin in the game but expect son’s earnings from summer & break jobs and his on campus job to cover his books, gas, entertainment, etc. So far that has worked really well - though he has run short a few times at the end of the school year - but nothing that a $100 or so from us can’t cover.
We did not want our S to take any loans or have any debt after he graduates. It would be one thing if we couldn’t afford tto send him without him taking out loans, but to require it when it isn’t necessary just doesn’t make any sense to me at all.
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One family pays for two years and leaves the rest for the child,
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that is awful! the parents would either have to co-sign loans for those last 2 years or the child has to leave school.
Some parents are idiots…seriously.
If parents can pay for 2 years of college, then divide that amount by 4 and pay that amount each year. Long before apps go out, tell the child that is what the annual budget is.
“Some parents are idiots…seriously.”
mom2collegekids that is an ignorant statement to make based on the limited information that was shared.
I didn’t have parental help paying for school. Whether I sank or swam was entirely on me. OTOH, I never had parents holding things over my head (like cutting off my phone because they felt I wasn’t “prompt” enough replying to texts) and entirely forged my own way.
With that said, I worked 40 hours or more a week and it kind of sucked. I would never recommend that families with means require their children to pay their own way and making a blanket statement like “room and board is on you” can be problematic given that at some places, R&B can be 3k and at others it can be 15k.
I think 5k is a good benchmark. Students should be making ALL their own spending money and perhaps taking on some other bills as well- whatever your family is comfortable with.
We are fortunate enough to be full pay. Our expectations are that the kids do the best that they can academically. I might require some skin in the game if either one showed me that they were not serious about getting an education, but that has not happened.
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One family pays for two years and leaves the rest for the child,
"Some parents are idiots....seriously."
mom2collegekids that is an ignorant statement to make based on the limited information that was shared.
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@Dad0524
If there is some mitigating circumstance that substantially changes what these kids will face paying for those last 2 years (trust funds from the Grands, large merit offer helps pay the last two years or something?), then please share… But if it is something like “large merit” “trust money,” or some other money source, then the child isn’t really paying for the last two years.
But the fact remains that most “away schools” are going to cost at least $25k COA…usually more. To expect that the student can somehow come up with $25k+ for each of those last two years is naive.
Plus, the student is 17/18 years old when this “agreement” is struck. Many/most kids that age would not be able to grasp how risky that set-up would be. The first 2 years taken care of…that will likely be the focus/concern of the child. Parents shouldn’t put their kids into situations where their limited foresight could easily get them into trouble.
Furthermore…the child isn’t likely going to have the foresight to think, "hey, my parents are paying those first two years, so I better take/bank full student loans for frosh/soph years, so that I can add those to my limited-loan offerings for junior and senior years.
I think many/most would agree that whatever the parents determine that they can pay - in total - for those first two years (sounds like about $50k+), would be better divided up into a 4 year contribution, so that from the beginning, the student knows that he has $10k+ from parents, and he needs to select schools where coming up with the difference is very possible.
As I stated I don’t know the situation of how each of these friends are handling the payments or what was involved in the discussion with their child, which is why I did not include it. It is obvious that they needed to co-sign for the loan to cover more than the government provides, so in essence it is their loan as well.
Since you don’t know them or any of the other details a comment like you made was uncalled for. So you are basically saying because they have a different opinion then you do on what they are going to spend on tuition as a family and how they will cover the costs they are idiots???
I have read many of your posts and you do provide helpful information to folks like myself that have never been through this, but I stand by my comment that it was an ignorant statement.
My parents gave me the gift of four years of college without being burdened by loans and I was happy to do the same for my kids. They worked hard and did well. Both kids had summer jobs which gave them enough money to pay for incidentals and youngest worked some during the school year as well.
I don’t think kids need “skin in the game” - or at least mine didn’t. They were self-motivated - I never paid for A’s or any of that sort of thing. I believe that most incentives backfire.
One has to look at their own circumstances and what works the best to meet student/family goals.
The college paradigm has dramatically changed. Some/many high schools have better preparation with AP, IB, dual enrollment. The rising costs and the way COA and financial aid and merit are determined.
When someone says “I will fund first two years” or end up funding for a limited while, it may not properly prepare student contributions and cost constraint - then student may not have their act ‘together’ to finish at the school - or maybe end up reaching for debt as a ‘fix’. Spreading out the assistance over 4 years means the student has to have a realistic financial plan. Parents may realize the mistake on their first college student, and then pay more for the first college kid, leaving siblings with less resources. I agree that is not a good plan to have the student finish a degree in a cost effective manner with short sighted plans. Mom2ck may have been a bit harsh with the ‘idiot’ comment, but she does have some good points to make and I agree with her.
Parents and students need to think about potential colleges very early - so that students do the proper work and classes in HS, prepare and take the needed tests (including leaving time to raise their ACT/SAT scores; taking the SAT subject tests needed for a planned school). Do enough visiting of schools, and enough thinking about careers and degree plans.
We had a pre-paid state college plan (in AL), but the plan ended up freezing the tuition payments at 2010 rates. So we have 135 hours but it doesn’t pay as much as was promised. We had a separate account of money, and our two earned scholarships. They have enough of a money pot to make it through if they keep their scholarships (which seems very likely based on their college progress to date).
Financial pressure on parents and students can be very counter-productive if the student is at too costly of a school. Parents should not be risking their home or their retirement.
Our son is a college senior. We saved some money for his college expenses. If he’d chosen a public university, we may have been able to cover most costs. But of course he chose a private university. He got a partial four year academic scholarship. He got a work-study job on campus. He also applied every year for additional university scholarships and was awarded nice chunks of money. After his sophomore year, he got a part time paid internship which allowed him to pay for his books, part of his rent (he moved off campus) and his food.
He will end up with about $10,000 in student loans to pay back. Husband and I did not borrow any money for his college.
I do not know how my husband and I would have afforded sending son to this particular school if he hadn’t got all the scholarships plus worked. In hindsight, in a way, we were nuts to let him go there. On the other hand, it has worked out. I don’t think his loans are an unreasonable amount. I am proud of how he contributed to the cost of getting a college degree. He can feel good about it, too. I also feel like his getting scholarships was a big way of him contributing to the college costs.
Son is my only child. If I had more than one to send to college, I would no doubt look at things differently. We splurged a bit on him, but I feel good about it, he seems to have made the most of it.
Not necessarily. If, for example, a school expects a ~$5,000 or less student contribution (e.g. HYS), then a student may be able to cover it with either a federal direct loan, or just work earnings, or a small amount of either (assuming that the actual family contribution happens to be the same as the expected family contribution). Higher student contributions in the $10,000 range generally require both a maximum federal direct loan and some work earnings (also assuming that the actual family contribution is the same as the expected family contribution).
Of course, there are other ways for the student to contribute. Frugal living on the part of the student can also be part of the student contribution ($1,000 in the COA that is not spent is like earning more than $1,000 due to payroll taxes on the earnings). Outside scholarships can be applied against the student contribution (replacing loans or work earnings expectation first) at many schools (but perhaps not all of them).
My kids have ‘skin in the game’ by having to pay their own expenses, and by having to keep their grades up to retain their scholarships. They know I can’t make up those scholarships if they are lost. I just can’t. So far they haven’t had to take loans, but they sure know how hard it is to pay the bills
I have to disagree with spreading the money over 4 years. If I had had to have a four year, no changes, no risk plan, neither of my kids would be in college. When they were applying, I had about $30k saved (for 2 starting at the same time). I knew my job was ending. I saved what I could until the job ended, but it was not, is not, enough for 4 years, maybe 2. How long we can stretch this out without loans, without work will depend on additional financial aid, maybe taking a co-op year, maybe getting more scholarships. If they had each had to spread their $15k over over 4 years, they only would have had just over $3,500 for the first year, and that’s not enough for any school. As it turned out, one used all $15k, the other only $7k, the savings grew a little in that last year, etc etc.
I really think most of America gets through year by year with a rough budget. People on CC might not, but most of America going to community college and public colleges do not have 4 years of college sitting in a 529. I met a young man at my daughter’s orientation who told me his family story. The parents had 7 children, and paid for college for each for 1 year (very inexpensive flagship). After that, each child was expected to figure it out. This guy was ROTC, he’d been an RA to pay his R&B for two years, worked, applied for scholarships. I don’t think his parents were idiots, just doing what they could to get 7 kids through college.
I think whether a given student needs to have “skin in the game” or not isn’t universal, but very dependent on each individual student concerned.
Some may need it while others don’t with some in the latter camp possibly feeling insulted by parents/adults who feel they do have such a need and thus, implying they lack the positive traits of self-motivation and initiative. A feeling I cannot blame them for.
I speak as someone who managed to attain a near-full ride FA/scholarship package to a respectable LAC, not have parents pay ANY portion of my college expenses, excelling academically despite maxing out semester courseloads and working ~20 hours/week, and graduating with a 3 figured loan which was paid off within 6 months of graduation. My “skin” in the game was that if I screwed this up, there was not going to be college for a while/ever as I literally had no safety net in case of failure.
Especially considering I was extremely lucky to have gotten the admission/package considering my abysmal HS GPA…my essays and name of public magnet were likely the tipping factors. Also, while my academic crash in 9th and parts of 10th grade did hurt, I ended up learning what many teens/young adults don’t learn until they had their crash at end of their first semester/year in undergrad.
I agree, twoinanddone, that many of us figure things out along the way and that includes finding ways to pay for college costs. My husband and I never went to a four year college. If we had, I’m sure we’d have approached the whole college thing differently. One thing we were definitely sure on was that Son would go to college.
When I was a young adult, I learned that some things you figure out as you go along. You don’t always have to know exactly how it’s going to work or work out. Just keep moving forward. There are song lyrics that explain it: “Life’s a dance, you learn as you go; sometimes you lead, sometimes you follow. Don’t worry about what you don’t know; life’s a dance, you learn as you go.” Of course, it helps to have realistic goals.
Years ago, when my best friend went away to college (riding a dinosaur of course), on a visit back home during her freshman year she said one of the first things she learned there was that there was more than one way to arrive at the correct answer. It sounds so simple, but at the time, it was extremely enlightening to hear and opened my mind up to a whole new world of possibilities. Anyway, that’s how it is with sending kids to college. We may all do it differently, all the ways can be the right way with the end result being that our kids all end up graduating with degrees.
In those instances, it’s not “skin in the game,” it’s reality.
And I think that students in these families react to the need to contribute to their own education differently than those in families who could pay for all of their expenses but refuse to. Young people know when they’re being deliberately manipulated, and many of them resent it.
I don’t think all students need to have skin in the game. My parents didn’t contribute financially when I started college, so I had all my skin in the game, and then I ran out of skin, and that is why I’m just getting a Bachelor’s degree this year, at age 45.
My older daughter contributed what she could, as will my younger daughter, as will I. At my income level, my younger daughter will need to take out loans, which I wish wasn’t the case, but when even cheapo directionals cost 80% of your annual income, it’s a necessary evil.