Children that go to College at Quite a Distance

Parent Cafe
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<p>My family lives just outside of Chicago and my brother is interested in applying to Colorado State. He's interested in Veterinary, and upon hearing that they're among the top in the nation, an interest in the school soon sparked. Although he's considering Colorado State, my parents won't let him go there because they say it's too far away. They said they don't want to drive 15hrs (maybe more?) to go and drop him and his stuff off at college and then bring all of it back. They prefer he goes closer in order to eliminate that hassle. For breaks, he'd fly back, but it's the trip at the beginning of the year and the one at the end of the year (which requires driving) that keep him from going there. </p>

<p>And, so I was wondering what you, the parents do when your child wants to go to school that is far away. Do you not let him go because of the distance? Is the argument by my parents that the hassle of driving 15hrs to see him is a valid argument?</p>

<p><em>I'm about 7hrs away and they don't seem to complain (odd)</em></p>

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<p>I don’t know. Anything more than eight hours would get replaced by an airline ticket in my book, and once you get on an airplane it doesn’t much matter how far you go. We shipped all of our son’s stuff via UPS for less than $200. There is no particular need to drive it yourself. He goes to school about 1,900 miles from here.</p>

<p>EDITED: Chicago to Fort Collins is a 2,000 mile round trip. At the IRS 48.5 cents per mile reimbursement rate, that’s almost $1,000. Even if you pack more stuff than WashDadJr did, you could probably send it UPS or FedEx ground or even parcel post for a fifth to a quarter of that.</p>

<p>EDITED AGAIN: Vet schools are tough to get into and there aren’t many of them. Transportation will probably be the smallest problem. What if UC Davis was the only school who accepted him? That’s a great vet school that’s a lot farther away.</p>

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<p>Agree with WashDad. If there is no objection to flying back and forth for breaks, then fly – don’t drive – for the drop-off and pick-up. If parents go with, doesn’t have to cost anything extra at all:</p>

<p>2 free check-in bags of 50lbs each * 3 (2 parents and student) = a ton of stuff. DS didn’t need more than half of that. Store some stuff locally over summer if you like.</p>

<p>IMO, schools should be selected on how they fit your needs and preferences, not on annoying logistics 1x/year or less. Some families have “close to home” as one of their criteria. But this family doesn’t really seem to mind the distance, but for that initial drop-off. Easily solved.</p>

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<p>My D flew with 2 50# duffles, a rolling carry on and a back pack. My W recently took a trip and checked two bags, had a carryon bag, a back pack, and another duffle which she decided was a purse. No one questioned the amount of stuff.</p>

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<p>Also agree with above. I think you have to look past the travel distance when someone wants to study something like pre-vet – highly competitive and few vet school spots.</p>

<p>Speaking from long distance travel experience, my son went to Rice and it’s a 3000 mile round trip from DC to Houston. Did it both by car and by having him fly and shipping everything. Problem solved when he got a car and did it himself. As jmmom says, travel is just “annoying logistics”.</p>

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<p>I flew out with S across country, with each of us carrying 2 suitcases. S bought so little personal stuff, that one bag was filled with linens, towels; things we could easily have bought locally. </p>

<p>When a child wants a college with a particular focus, gaining admission is the primary focus.</p>

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<p>you solve the drive back problem by getting a summer storage unit.S is 11 hrs away by car (NY to SC) and we rented a Public storage unit last summer..shared with one other kid..cost each one 106$ for the 4 months they needed it. Then,student flys back. Don’t see the parents needing to make the drive more than once, if at all. Initially, we flew, carried bags likes the other posters, shipped some stuff,rented a car there and bought things locally. S this year drove down ,will drive back for Christmas break, and may or may not return home for the summer (arranging a practicum in his major which could place him elsewhere).</p>

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<p>No need to drive him. DD goes across the country. The first year I did fly out with her because I wanted to attend the parent orientation. Like Bookworm, we each took two suitcases, and most of the contents were hers. For the summer, she and some friends rented a storage unit. She flew home with two suitcases of “stuff”, and carried her computer. It was absolutely NO HASSLE at all picking her up at the airport or putting her back on the plane this year to go back. OTOH…DS went two hours away. Because he was close, we drove him (and stuff) to and from school (yes, loading and unloading the van), and often picked him up for vacations. To be honest, that was MORE of a hassle than picking up DD at the airport.</p>

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<p>There may be something important hidden in that last throwaway line in the OP

Could be as simple as chafing at the extra cost of one night’s lodging for each trip. Could be that the 15 hour drive complaint is masking some other objection entirely. I can’t read between those lines, but maybe the OP has some suspicions. If there is nothing else there, than the logistical suggestions we’ve made would do the trick. If there is something there, than I guess we need to put the thinking caps back on.</p>

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<p>The easiest approach to the beginning of the school year may be for the parent and child to fly to the college together – both because they can carry twice as much luggage that way and because the parent is old enough to rent a car. Parent might need to come back for move-out to rent a car again in order to move stuff from the dorm to the storage unit (although this might not be necessary if the student has a friend with a car or the college has an arrangement with a storage company that will pick stuff up on campus for an extra fee). </p>

<p>Driving 15 hours should not be necessary.</p>

<p>I do expect to drive 7 hours each way for all of my daughter’s August drop-offs and May pick-ups, but I consider that a bearable driving distance (as long as we don’t attempt a round trip in one day). Your tolerance may vary. The rest of the time, she takes a bus because air travel between the two areas is awkward and inconvenient.</p>

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<p>It’s really not a big deal being far from home for college, but it does require some planning. Our S attended a college almost 3000 one-way miles from home. The only hassle was getting his car out there freshman year. H drove it out, and S and I flew. Then S decided he didn’t need a car after all and drove it home at the semester break. We bought things like bed linens, lamps, a bike, laundry hamper, etc., once we got to campus. (After frosh year, he can take advantage of the usual thriving secondary market of goods from students leaving campus at graduation.) S always stored his stuff on campus during the summer, so we never faced the end-of-every-year moving dilemma. We didn’t even drive out at graduation; he stored his stuff on campus again and then picked it up on his way to grad school. </p>

<p>Your brother may want to consider a notebook rather than desktop computer for portability. S had a desktop and shipped it wherever he was going for summer break; took a notebook, though, the summer he went overseas. If your brother has bulky items like a musical instrument or sports equipment (skis, golf clubs), he can get covers or containers for those to take on flights.</p>

<p>One advantage for college students far from home: They learn to travel and live light. Our S is one of the fastest and most efficient packers I know, much better than I am!</p>

<p>Some things to check into at CSU:</p>

<p>Ft. Collins is about an hour’s drive north of Denver International Airport via E470 and I25. There are loads of shuttles at DIA servicing destinations all along the Front Range and the ski resorts in the mountains. Ask the admissions folks which shuttles serve the campus. [Also, DIA is a hub for United. There are many flights at reasonable fares between Chicago and DIA on United and other airlines.]</p>

<p>If your brother and one of your parents can visit the campus, ask the CSU contact to put your brother in touch with students who live far away from campus to find out how they do it. For instance, where do students store their things on campus during the summer break? Your brother may not want to go home for short breaks like Thanksgiving. What options are available for students who stay on campus during breaks? Do the dining halls and/or dorms close?</p>

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<p>kinglin,
My S just started a program in Chicago, and we live on the East Coast. We did not want to drive all the way out there, so his father and I flew with him, each carrying two suitcases. All of his clothing fit easily. We rented a car at the airport in Chicago. When we got to Chicago we picked up linens, etc. at a Bed, Bath and Beyond. There is a BBY in Fort Collins. I’m betting that much of his stuff could be stored during the summer either at the college or through some local company. It’s certainly doable.</p>

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<p>Why is he basing his undergrad college on which grad school he wants to go to? </p>

<p>Not making sense to me – unless I missed something. </p>

<p>From Illinois, the logical school for an animal science/prevet major would be University of IL at Champaign/Urbana. Possibly Univ Wisconsin at Madison.</p>

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<p>Depends on where you are on the economic scale. My son was 12 hours drive, and I did take him out and pick him up on occasion. Lap tops have solved part of that problem with transporting stuff! Hauling that big computer took money and logistics. Those hundreds of dollars could have better been spent on other priorities! But the drives were good bonding time, and now treasured in my memory. My impression, maybe incorrect, is that LAC tend to have storage, and state schools don’t? But private storage is always available, if awkward to transport via taxi. In the end, he usually shipped via Fed ex ground.
Now Chicago to Denver can be done on Amtrack, and transporting a large amount of stuff is far easier on Amtrack, bikes included. Fares can be quite cheap, depending on dates. We used the train a lot in our runs to Pittsburgh.</p>

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<p>Is he ONLY interested in Colorado State because it has a vet school? Attending a college with a vet school has definite advantages, but plenty of colleges are feeder schools for vet schools. </p>

<p>Vet schools, far more so than med schools, prefer to admit applicants from their own state. Since there’s only 27 (I think) veterinary colleges, the states that don’t have their own vet school have special agreements with particular vet schools. If he’s in Chicago, UIUC is definitely the best bet. Is there a particular reason he would prefer to go all the way to Colorado? Even if he prefers to go OOS, there are several colleges that are closer (Wisconsin, Michigan State, Iowa State, Missouri, Purdue, Ohio State).</p>

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<p>Youngest goes to a university with a specialty major, 3,000 miles away in So.Cal. Older two only wanted LAC’s with popular academic majors, so had many choices within a day’s drive of home. They ended up 4 hours away by car; now both are graduated. None of the 3 own cars. </p>

<p>For youngest, my H and I decided to make his freshman orientation our belated 25th wedding anniversary gift to each other. Finances are of issue and we simply don’t travel recreationally since getting married. So we decided to make this our splurge. Three days before, we all went to a fascinating city together (San Diego) and all enjoyed a last bonding trip together before bidding him goodbye. On the plane, each of us took 2 suitcases under the plane, and a little carry-bag. That got us through an entire week. He packed some suitcases with his dorm stuff that stayed zipped right through the Anniversary trip in the motel rooms. We rented a car from the airport for a week. When it was time for freshman orientation, we all drove to the university town, and did that for 2 days. Perhaps if your folks saw a great vacation opportunity for themselves in COlorado, and tacked it on to your freshman orientation (before or after) they’d enjoy it more and see September as their opportunity, too. Lots of vacations available in Colorado. If they have resources, suggest this approach.</p>

<p>When spring comes, S will either share storage with friends, or use a commercial summer storage system the college is plugged into. Perhaps by then he’ll know a family from a commuter student whom he could gift or pay to store his stuff in their home, although the insurance might have to be looked at carefully if it’s a private arrangement. His fallback is summer storage, as others describe.</p>

<p>I also had to reassure myself about air flight cost at this time of year before I could support a distant application. I googled expedia, or kayak, any of the airplane “search” engines online. I learned that, with a month or two advance notice and willingness to fly at odd hours or days, the costs of flying were much less than friends and neighbors quoted to me. You’ll usually know your schedule in advance to take advantage of air ticket sales. So if you check that today, propose several dates in February. Find the cheapest motels in the area (hotels.com) and study that, too, in case they say they’d want to visit you on campus sometime. (They might not.)</p>

<p>If their objection to your entire college decision is their one-time drive to campus, that seems a bit short-sighted to me. Offer to fly there yourself in September, and ground-ship anything you can’t manage (YOU do the shipping). If you feel their presence at your freshman orientation is optional, say so. See what happens. It might help everyone figure out what’s motivating them. </p>

<p>It could be that they know how to do it for your older sib, so that’s easiest. Ask them to stretch their thinking for you. My S had to lobby quite a bit before we got it through out heads what it all meant to him to go to that particular location.</p>

<p>EDIT: Just read the post above. If the urge for Colorado is also skiing, not just vet school, be honest with yourself. My S wanted professional training in film, so So.Cal. made sense professionally, and was worth the extra cost and effort to get him there.
If he had wanted it just to surf, it would have not been fair to pretend otherwise. (He doesn’t surf…)(yet).</p>

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<p>We live in Texas, D goes to college in Minnesota - a 19-hour drive. One of our college goals was to have our children experience life in a different part of the country. Travel/shipping logistics haven’t been difficult, and we really enjoy road trips.</p>

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<p>OK, I am one of those parents who drives their child (and stuff) 16 hours each way for school (and do the 1000+ miles in 1 day). Mine is a sophomore in boarding school, so she needs the help. I’ll agree that it is not for everyone with college kids though. </p>

<p>And with OP already being 7 hours away the second trip may be a bit much, so I can see why they are struggling with “how are we going to do this?”</p>

<p>Perhaps OP should try to pitch in by relieving the parents of his transportational needs (i.e. take some of the advice above regarding shipping/storing of worldly posessions). By setting the example, you will give your parents the idea that (a) distance is not a problem. (b) even if there is one initial startup trip it doesn’t necessarily have to be a multi-year thing.</p>

<p>This would probably make the parent a little more confident that they won’t be overwhelmed logistically.</p>

<p>And if OP is already handling his/her own logistics, then OP might want to work with brother on getting him ready.</p>

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<p>S flew alone to CA with a laptop and carryon. I spent about $35 sending a few boxes (bedding, extra clothes). BTW, S goes to a small rural school and bought nothing but his books after he arrived. S only comes home for Xmas and summer because he/we can’t pay for extra plane tickets–not a problem for him–he enjoyed staying on campus for Thanksgiving and Easter breaks.</p>

<p>If you’re staying in a dorm and have a meal plan, what do you really need except clothes, bedding and computer? IMO most students take way too much stuff to college. As others have said, transportation is not an issue if you travel light.</p>

<p>All that said, I think the student should also seriously consider his in-state school, think about if he might want to come home for shorter breaks, etc.</p>

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<p>It’s an easy flight from Chicago to Colorado. We live in central Ohio and my son attends the University of Denver–we have often found good fares on a variety of airlines. It shouldn’t be a problem. Are your parents using the distance issue as a proxy for another concern?</p>