<p>I agree with you that his experience in band, while likely to be well-written and thoughtful, isn’t going to differentiate him sufficiently from all the other kids (if he’s applying somewhere selective - if not, it probably won’t matter either way). </p>
<p>Schools want to know what has made him the person he is, how he is different from all the other great applicants, and what he can contribute to their school. I would tell him that if he writes an essay that makes the school ‘feel sorry for him,’ then he has failed in meeting the essays objectives. Schools don’t admit people they feel sorry for. And if he writes about the power of film and how he’s used it, and it comes out ‘manipulative,’ then he’s not done a good job there either since admins are pretty savvy and know when they are being manipulated. To make yourself vulnerable, by revealing something deeply personal, without making yourself pathetic or sounding manipulative is a tall order for a teen-age writer, but given that he’s done it for an AP class, he should try. Ultimately, though, it’s his essays so he has to decide.</p>
<p>If he doesn’t want to write about the film making, perhaps the girl’s parents will submit a letter of recommendation for him. Personal letters that add insight into an applicant’s personality are often welcome if they aren’t from a family member. If he doesn’t want to talk about his health challenges, the guidence counselor at his school can put this into his or her recommendation letter. </p>
<p>Our students are required by the school to provide answers to a number of questions including what am I most proud of and what challenges have I overcome? It gives them an opening to include this in their letters of recommendation. Perhaps this strategy would work better for your son?</p>