After having an impressive first two years of high school at a school ranked in the top 25 most difficult schools by the WashingtonPost, I had a mental breakdown at the end of sophomore year, transferred to a less competitive school, and have been doing miserably this junior year both academically and socially.
I was going to take the CHSPE, enroll at Santa Monica College (SMC), major in philosophy, and transfer to UC Berkeley; however, I recently discovered Bard College at Simon’s Rock (a.k.a. Simon’s Rock), which appears to be the ideal educational environment for me, except for astronomical price tag. I love the SMC path financially but am concerned about missing the first two years of college social life, albeit a bad social life at SMC would still be better than my current one at high school. So, SMC or Simons Rock?
<pre><code> The FIRST dilemma: How does one afford Simons Rock?
I can apply for January entry, but right now, I have a 2.77 gpa unweighted. My academic performance has been atrocious this year since I had mono this school year, Ive been socially isolated from friends and peers, most teachers at my current school are disengaged from teaching and take pride in announcing how lazy they are, the shift in pedagogy from critical analysis and open discussion at my old school to sheer memorization has exacerbated my gpa apathy (I test well cognitively, but memorization is not my forte probably because I had a brain tumor in middle school.), and my focusing on the CHSPE and school arrangements for next semester makes the perpetual busywork consisting of constant repetition of menial exercises appear even more petty and frustrating. Frankly, are my excuses legitimate, or does the reason why my gpa sucks not matter?
If the financial aid offered during January is insufficient, I can apply for the many scholarships offered during its Fall entry. Am I merit scholarship worthy since I maintained ~4.3 cumulative gpa at a prestigious high school for two years, earned multiple national awards during my Lincoln-Douglas debate career, was the website editor for a year and a half for the school newspaper that won national awards, and independently pursue my own interests - taking pictures, running an art blog, reading philosophy, and writing a novel? Or has this current semester ruined my application?
The SECOND dilemma: Am I mentally stable enough to live on my own on the other side of the country?
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From the second semester of freshman year, I was mildly depression. After a recent Prozac-induced hypomania, I realized that my abundance of energy during the first half of sophomore year resembled a hypomanic episode and bipolar disorders run in my family. Instead of weekly debate tournaments during the second semester of sophomore year, I was attending weekly therapy since my mood had significantly decreased. A few months later, I was hospitalized for almost two weeks for suicidal ideation. I was coerced into quitting debate, which was horribly stressful at times. Unable to do debate, I transferred to a less competitive high school to get a fresh start. I was warned of the lacking academics, and I ended up in a worse position socially and academically than I was in last year since students were more preoccupied with existing friends than investing time into new ones. Simons Rocks dorm life looks a community where I can have a sense of belonging since the uniqueness of this college makes me optimistic that Ill find like-minded individuals. Even though my mental health remains sporadic, it is much more under control than last year. Do you have any thoughts on my living far from home and being distant from familiar medical professionals, or on how Simon’s Rock could impact my well-being?
Thank you so much for you feedback. 