<p>First of all let me tell you that I don't want this thread to become a debate about religion/tithing etc. I just want to ask other parents how they have handled church tithing while their kids are in college (or lack thereof..).</p>
<p>Our situation - we belong to a non-denominational protestant church. Every one has a different view on tithing (don't want to debate about that either), but most churches we have attended feel that 10% of your gross income is what you should tithe. I'm not sure we've made the 10% mark on gross ever, but we probably make the 10% net mark. We also sponsor a child thru World Vision & we contribute to other charities as we can.</p>
<p>Many people we have talked to (all walks of life & income levels) have said that they weren't able to contribute as much as they would have liked to when their children were in college (even the extremely wealthy ones because they had to pay for full tuition/R&B because of their EFC). This fall will be our first experience with a child in college and it looks like we will be okay for his freshman & sophmore year, but since schools go up so much that means that maybe we wouldn't be because we have another child starting college when my first is a junior. I can't imagine at this time how we will be able to afford two in at the same time, even though I'm sure we will manage somehow.</p>
<p>We have no credit card debt, no car payments, and just the house payment. We live modestly and w/i our means, but there is no "fat" we can cut out (i.e. - expensive vacations, etc.). We don't want the kids to have a lot of debt after they get out of college (we can help them to some degree with their college loans, but then how do we save for retirement?).</p>
<p>PLEASE just tell me what you have done & don't criticize what anyone else does or how they've done it - we all have different opinions of how we deal with these issues.</p>
<p>Well we don't belong to a church- but we give 10% of our income to charitable organizations. ( food bank- schools- ....)
We don't give gross- we give net I don't think we could afford to give gross being our net is under $60K but it does make a difference to know that we have made a commitment to contribute to the community.
If you can't make a commitment to continue the 10% contribution while kids are in college- explain to the church and have ideas of how you can support the community with sweat equity.
The flexibility of the church probably depends- I know that my sisters church it is a firm requirement that you contribute 10% if you don't- you aren't allowed into temple for weekly rites, they go to church about 3 times a week so I am guessing they have found a way to keep up.</p>
<p>Unfortunately, colleges will look at the amount you set aside for tithing as disposable income. In considering tithing, it may be worth thinking about financial aid as a form of giving/receiving. If requiring more financial aid as a result of your contribution to your church, then it seems a wash. It seems to me that this is a case of "charity begins at home."</p>
<p>So, OP, what is the question? Are you saying the tithe is a mandatory expense? I don't think many others would agree with you. Are you asking whether you should go into debt in order to pay for school and church? Only you can make that decision.</p>
<p>With three son's in college we've had to decrease the amount we gave to the church monetarily, but we've increased the time we give in service - we definitely consider this along with other charitable donations as part of our tithing obligation. With our boys away at college, our time for giving has INCREASED as our financial resources have DECREASED.</p>
<p>newmassdad - no, I am not asking whether I should go into debt or not. I really am just wondering how other families handle this and I know it is something that only my husband & I can ultimately decide on when the time comes. In case you didn't see my clarification the church we belong to does not require a 10% tithe. I also don't want to make it about the amount of tithing either. Ultimately, it is up to each and every person what they decide to give. When we haven't attended a church for several reasons or another we gave money to charities like emeraldkity4. It is just something we feel good about doing. </p>
<p>dak - I'm glad that you are able to increase your service time. It is everybit as important as money. Maybe it is just a cycle we all go through. Meaning that when the kids where younger you offer more services (because you certainly don't have a lot of money then), then you offer more money because you are so busy running your older kids around to various activities, & then your kids need a LOT of your money and you can then offer time again. I guess in the end maybe it all balances out:)</p>
<p>I also agree with DAK. As an at home mom I have always been more available to volunteer, while families I know with two working parents are able to write bigger checks.</p>
<p>Here's my quandry. It seems likely that my son will be attending my husband's alma mater, whose scholarship fund we have always supported. Can I apply this year's scholarship donation directly to S's tuition bill? ;^)</p>
<p>I think the amount you give to charity is a very personal decision and nobody's business buy yours (and the IRS). However, there are 2 changes my wife and I have made over the past several years in our charitable giving:</p>
<ol>
<li><p>We have focused our giving to local charities. There are still a few big charities that we give to, but our major contributions go to a few local organizations and my wife's church. </p></li>
<li><p>I use a charitable gift fund (Fidelity - but there are many out there). This lets me manage the timing and amount of my tax deductible giving and separate that from granting a $$ contribution to a charity. If I have a good year and make more money I can donate more money to charity (via the gift fund) and grant that money to a specific charity later. </p></li>
</ol>
<p>A charitable gift fund could be used as a savings vehicle to store up charitable contributions before your kids go off to college, and then you could draw down the fund to keep making annual grants to your church while your kids are in college. This is just an idea for you if maintaining annual gifts to your church is very important to you, but you fear it will be a financial hardship once kids are in college.</p>
<p>What I would recommend is that you talk to your pastor, minister, or priest. I am sure that he (or she) will understand your situation and help you to understand what the church expects and how you can help. Most likely, he will tell you that your time is very important to the church as well, and that you can contribute a lot to the community without giving more than you can afford.</p>
<p>I probably attend a church similar to yours. A non-denominational protestant church. Actually a percent amount is not even mentioned but we have a few sermons every year on giving. We give at least as much to other people and organizations as we give to the church. It is something between you and God. So you and your husband should discuss it with Him :)</p>
<p>mominsearch
The 10% is only a recommendation, and there are probably people who give less, who are not any less worthy of being parishioners, and then there are people who give more, which does not pave their way to wherever. You really have to do whatever makes you feel is right and good, both for the church, and for your family, without any feelings of guilt. Anyhow, I would make my decision base on my own feelings, and changing circumstances, as they may be, and would not feel the need to discuss our income with the pastor.</p>
<p>At our Church, I very often sit next to this woman I know, who wears Cartier watches, designer suits, and leases a new car every 6 months, and without fail, when the basket comes around, she gropes in her Kate Spade bag, and mumbles, oops I left my checkbook at home. Haha. Not being judgemental or anything , but, you know.....</p>
<p>We ourselves give in numerous ways besides monetarily, and have no trouble falling asleep at night.</p>
<p>The membership vows of my denomination ask for a commitment of "prayers, presence, gifts, and service" with no mention of percentages. Having said that, "tithe" is generally understood to be 10%, but there are no tithe police checking anyone out. :)</p>
<p>You might want to talk to your pastor about the concept of "first gifts" from a faith perspective, but in general, I agree with JVD...it's between you and God.</p>
<p>I agree that it is between each person and God what that person/family will give. We have had a son in college for four years now and have chosen to continue our giving to our church at the same level (%). It has been very tight many times, and there have been a couple of times when we had no idea how we were going to make the next college payment, but I have to say that God has always provided, whether through my husband being able to work overtime, money coming that we didn't expect, or part-time jobs coming to me and increasing every year. </p>
<p>To us it is a matter of trusting God. It is not always logical or something we can figure out ahead of time. It is a commitment we make, and a commitment that we have found God has honored. I'm NOT trying to say that we are better or more spiritual than anyone who decides to do things a different way. Not at all. I really DO believe it is an individual decision. And I'm not saying that we will always do this, although we intend to. I'm just sharing what our family does, as mominsearch asked. I must say, our faith has certainly increased as a result.</p>
<p>THANKS EVERYONE for sharing how you handle such a personal issue. Like I said it is ultimately up to my husband/myself and God, but knowing I'm not alone (there have to be other people on this board that have the same concerns/worries) makes me feel better. Every once in a while I just start thinking about how much college costs & the thought of two in college at the same time just freaks me out.</p>
<blockquote>
<p>just did some checking the LDS requires 10 % of after tax income which seems more doable than before tax<<</p>
</blockquote>
<br>
<p>I have to disagree. I am LDS -- tithing is defined as 10% of "increase" within the LDS church. Rather than have 12 volumes of regulations defining "increase" (like the IRS code would have), members define increase and pay accordingly. Some define it as 10% of net; some define it as 10% of gross. </p>
<p>We pay 10% of gross--after all, we want "gross" blessings, not "net" blessings.</p>