<p>I find women who smoke to be very attractive. And I think that guys look cool when they smoke. That’s how I feel, America.</p>
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<p>you’re on the parents forum aegrisomnia they don’t talk about being “tools” or rationalize why their kids should start a habit that is smelly and causes lung cancer–go figure!</p>
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A couple of problems with this statement - I see a lot of overweight people smoking so obviously smoking isn’t very effective at keeping one slim and most of these people, even if they’re slim, are not fit. To consider smoking a reasonable alternative to working out is ridiculous.</p>
<p>The other point is that you state one can do it with ‘anybody’ but that’s not true. A lot of non-smokers will simply not hang around anyone who smokes and some simplay can’t because the smoke will cause them to have an asthmatic or allergic reaction. Some smokers probably don’t even realize the self-selection that’s taking place by them smoking and how many people they’re excluding by doing so.</p>
<p>aegrisomnia - Correct me if I’m wrong but you sound like a young person who smokes. I’m not saying that to be condescending but to point out that most smokers who have been smoking for some number of years would agree with the negative aspects of the habit and would truly like to quit but have a difficult time in doing so. You sound as if you think it’s a perfectly reasonable and practical thing to do.</p>
<p>Actually smoking causes increased risk of ALL kinds of cancers, as well as cardiovascular risks (heart attack, stroke, etc.), diabetes, kidney disease, emphysema, asthma, chronic bronchitis and all kinds of other nasty things. We as a society end up paying for all of these health effects for the smoker and those who are exposed to the smoke from the smoker.</p>
<p>My D works out regularly for both health and appearance. She eats yogurt, wheat bread, salad, chicken, etc very healthy choices. She gets “grossed out” when my husband is grilling steak and says the red meat is bad for you. That is one of the reasons why I cannot understand how she can rationalize this. I know she smokes pot some, but that is different to me.</p>
<p>I think the posts by ‘aegrisomnia’ are relevant to this thread though and can help provide some insight when we parents wonder “what the heck were they thinking to start smoking?”</p>
<p>No matter how illogical we think it is and how dangerous and impractical we know smoking is, some young people who have been made aware of most of these issues are still deciding to take up the practice. Posts from students in that situation may help us understand what their logic was in making the choice.</p>
<p>also there is an increased risk of smoking when a girl is on birth control pills of blood clots, yet so many of them do both anyway. How and why are they so stupid,yet so smart in other ways??</p>
<p>and I agree, it is very important to understand the logic. But there is no way in the world I will ever think smoking cigarettes is ok, ever.</p>
<p>Lots of students at Brown smoke too. I don’t know if they started in college or earlier, but it’s incredibly off-putting, especially for someone as sensitive to cigarette smoke as me. I wonder how much of it is a rebelling stage - at Brown, at least, people tend not to like to be told what to do.</p>
<p>Mom3939, have you tried ASKING your D why she smokes? Have you tried asking her if she’s interested in quitting? Your local Department of Health may also have some resources to help your D quit smoking IF and WHEN she’s interested. No one will quit until and unless s/he WANTS to. Her doctor and other healthcare providers can also assist in any quit attempts IF she wants to quit. American Lung Assn & medical insurers also have programs for folks interested in quitting.</p>
<p>My nephew-in-law was dating my niece, who is STRONGLY allergic to smoke. They broke up for a while and he earnestly decided to quit, as he knew he’d have to if their relationship was to progress. He used patches for about a year, including after their wedding, but has been smoke-free. He smoked (small amounts & rarely), because it was a social thing & the others he socialized with were smoking. He still found it very tough to quit.</p>
<p>There is a good website, BecomeAnEX.org, which has streaming videos of folks who are working on quitting.</p>
<p>Using medication such as over-the-counter patches, gum, lozenges doubles the successful quit rate and using them in combination can quadruple it (over just going cold turkey with no aids). Chantix and Zyban are medications that have been helpful to many in quitting as well.</p>
<p>Here at CMU, I know that a lot of the international students smoke, so that had me thinking it was a cultural thing. Sounds like that’s not necessarily the case, though…</p>
<p>I personally find it just horrifying that so many college students smoke. As the OP said, with all that we know about the risks of smoking today, why do such presumably intelligent students feel the need to do something that is extraordinarily horrible for one’s body?</p>
<p>I’m not trying to offend anyone but I think the ability to comprehend and make good decisions of long term consequences is one of the last areas of the human brain to develop with it typically not being fully developed until one is in their twenties.</p>
<p>Maybe that accounts for some of it and why the ‘cool factor’ (hard to believe anyone still thinks that) trumps the longer term health and societal impacts of the practice.</p>
<p>Probably for the same reasons they do lots of things (including drink): it’s fun, it’s a little rebellious but not considered to be actually criminal by your peers at least, it gives you something to do with your hands in awkward situations, it makes you look cool/mature, it’s something you couldn’t do when you were a child and probably can’t do in your parents house so it’s a sign of your increased independence. </p>
<p>I don’t think it’s hard at all to think of reasons why intelligent people smoke, even knowing the risks. Some of them become physically dependent (just like some people who drink become alcoholics). But most students who smoke, including the OP’s daughter, are not going to see any serious health degradation. Unless it’s from the stress of being constantly nagged by their mom :-)</p>
<p>I have never been able to understand why a young person would start smoking, given what is known about the myriad health risks of this behavior. It is not like that first cigarette is pleasurable. One must become somewhat addicted for that, I would think. I can’t believe it is still considered “cool”. I think an earlier poster was correct in saying that the primary issue is that young people (and old people) all think it just won’t happen to them.</p>
<p>I am 54 years old. I am now older than my mother lived to be. She died of lung cancer at 53. She smoked the “low tar” lite brands of cigarettes (now known to be more dangerous because smokers inhale more deeply with those) for years. She left behind a husband, a 19 yo daughter, a 23 yo daughter and a 27 yo daughter. She missed one daughter graduating from college, one getting a PHD, weddings and grandchildren. My children know that if I ever found them smoking, that would be it for me (not that I know exactly what that means, but it wouldn’t be pretty). My sisters conveyed the same message to their children. Nonetheless, one sister’s daughter (a ballet dancer) did smoke some in college. I believe she has stopped now. </p>
<p>There have been numerous posts on cc lately about 18 yos and their rights. I professed my belief that at 18 an individual has the right to have control of their own body (the example in question was a tattoo). It’s pretty unlikely that one will die from a tattoo. Cigarette smoking increases risks of so many cancers. I agree with a poster above: if you want to look like a rebel, find something else. Perhaps a safety pin through your eyelid. </p>
<p>Unfortunately, I don’t have any advice to the op on how to change her child’s behavior. But I wouldn’t let up on the comments. Maybe some of the new packaging planned for cigarettes will penetrate the wall of invincibility.</p>
<p>It’s so important to have a DIALOG (not preaching) with a loved one who smokes. Honestly inquire about WHY they have chosen to and continue to smoke, what benefits they derive from it. You can ask them if they’re willing to do an exercise with you about also exploring all the things they don’t like about smoking, the tough things about making a behavioral change like quitting smoking and finally, the benefits and good things about quitting smoking.</p>
<p>Following that exercise, you can ask them if they’d like some help with resources available in the community to help them quit smoking, if THEY are interested. Some resources including their doc & other healthcare professionals, their medical insurer, your local department of health, their college health center.</p>
<p>The exercise (best written by the person who is smoking in his/her own handwriting with category headings: Good things about smoking; Not so good things about smoking; Challenges in Quitting; Good things about Quitting) can be a very helpful listing for that individual and may help them move toward change or at least create some ambivalence so they can thereafter consider moving toward change.</p>
<p>Anyway, that strategy has been helpful for some folks–there are many more.</p>
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That may be true in the short term if they don’t have COPD issues but clearly isn’t true in the long term statistically speaking and given the addictive nature of cigarette smoking, chances are the long term will result and given that, the decsion to start smoking is abad one and the sooner one quits the better.</p>
<p>One ‘interesteddad’ finds this thread he can provide all kinds of statistics.</p>
<p>The other aspect to this is, if the student is making this poor decision lack of foresight to start smoking, what other poor decisions are they making?</p>
<p>Hugs to you!
As a nurse practitioner, I ask all of my patients (who are kids - up to age 21) how many cigarettes a day they smoke (this is a more effective question than “do you smoke”) and I do motivational interviewing with anyone who tells me that he or she smoke any number of cigarettes. When it is a low amount like one a day, I say, “If you only smoke one cigarette a day, you can quit. Do you want to quit?” The patient will usually say “yes” and I say “When do you want to quit? Let’s set a date.” If he or she won’t pick a date, I’ll say, "OK let’s find a good date…let’s see (and I pick a date coming up like their birthday, the fourth of July, or whatever and say “how about…x date” The patient will almost always agree to this) I shake hands on the deal. Then, I give him or her the list of resources for quitting - quit line, classes for quitting, etc.
I do this with the parents of children too! This is part of my job.
Recommendation: make her go for a health check at a provider who will do this. Make a quick call ahead of time expressing your concern - tell the provider that you are aware of HIPPA and are not asking him or her to say anything to you - but this is your concern and would he or she please address it. He or she will say something non-committal because of HIPPA and will hopefully - if he or she is doing his or her job - follow through. Good luck!</p>
<p>levirm,
Do you follow up with these people & see whether they HAVE actually quit and what their sustained quit rate is? I’m just curious because so many folks will nod and say, yes, they’ll quit but so few actually successfully DO quit, especially long-term.</p>
<p>I agree that it can be helpful enlisting the help of the healthcare provider as you recommend above.</p>
<p>Perhaps I can offer some hope. I was quite similar to your D, ate healthily exercised and never considered smoking, but began during my early time in university. I was very well aware of the health risks but these didn’t affect me strongly. I think for a number of reasons; partly at the time I’d never actually experienced prematurely losing a close family member or friend so while intellectually i accepted the dangers they had no emotional impact. The other reason I didn’t worry about my health was that I always intended to quit once I’d finished my undergraduate degree.
I think there’s also a certain camaraderie among smokers. The group of us who smoked would leave restaurants, or parties or wherever we were at intervals to smoke and chat and it created a more intimate bond between us. It’s definitely an insidious habit; a cigarette break provides the perfect quick break when studying, a nice reward after an exam and generally something to look forward to. It becomes heavily ingrained in all aspects of your life.
I think this makes it much easier to quit when there’s a change in your daily rituals. I gave up once for three months over the long summer vacation (I started work and didn’t make friends with the smokers) unfortunately I did start up again a few weeks after returning to university. However i did give up entirely after finishing my degree. I was moving into a house with my boyfriend and other friends who didn’t smoke and hated the smell. It was difficult but 5 years later I haven’t smoked since, alot of my old smoking buddies are now smoke free too. The habit was much more difficult to break than the physical addiction, but often these habits are heavily associated with college itself. So I think there’s a good chance of your daughter giving up if she is addicted at all (and I do know people who really did only smoke socially and never became addicted). </p>
<p>Good luck with your Daughter, I’m sure it will turn out OK.</p>
<p>Maybe the OP, and others that want to motivate loved ones that smoke to quit, could have the smoker talk with someone like my 18 yo daughter, a rising college freshman at Tulane.</p>
<p>When she was 14 her right lung started collapsing for no reason. She has been a long distance runner since she was 12 and when she couldn’t finish a practice her coach knew something was wrong. Her right lung collapsed 3 times over 6 months and she finally had surgery on it to cut off part of the top of the lung to make it stop collapsing. </p>
<p>A year later her left lung collapsed because she sang in a choir concert. She was taken by ambulance to the children’s hospital 15 miles away and had the same surger on her left lung.</p>
<p>2 1/2 years later she is still singing and has run 3 half marathons in the past year. She has lost time and endurance and does not qualify for the running scholarship we thought she might get when she was a freshman in high school. But, she can still do the things she loves.</p>
<p>It would be different if she was around smokers, smoking 2nd hand smoke all of the time. She will have to carefully choose were she meets her smoking friends, or if she even wants to be friends with a smoker. She would not be able to run or sing like she wants to if she inhaled 2nd hand smoke all of the time. I am sure she will choose running and singing over being around 2nd hand smoke, just to keep a friendship.</p>
<p>Ask your smoking loved ones if they understand what friendships, relationships, and networking opportunities they are missing out on by smoking. They may not know why someone is avoiding them, that someone may not want to go into their health history. Some non smokers have given up a lot in order to do what they love and don’t want to give up even more just to gain a friend.</p>