Those days are done…for many people here on College Confidential. Remember that a substantial percentage of people here are or were on this hamster wheel with their kids, myself included (not so much with kid #2). But there are many people here whose kids are B students, or even amazing students who are pointy or round or whatever, and they aren’t buying into the rat race. And really, your kid should decide if they want to be part of the rat race or not. Here’s a thought: you and your kid can say no to the hamster wheel.
You don’t have high school kids yet, if I’m reading correctly. You have a significant influence on your child, of course. If you don’t want your child to be one of the incredibly stressed out and unhappy kids we see here on CC, whose parents push them to apply to schools they really aren’t interested in, and majors they have no aptitude for, you can help your kid by being supportive and letting him take the lead.
We also see kids who feel incredibly pressured by their peers to aim very high. Anyone who has been here on CC has seen posts from frustrated and upset kids who worry about EVERYTHING:
- their grades (I got a C, am I screwed for Harvard?)
- their EC’s (I only have one EC and I don’t have any leadership. Am I screwed for Stanford?)
- their AP’s, or lack of (I’ve only taken two AP’s, am I screwed for Penn?)
- their demographics (I’m Asian/white suburban kid and I want to major in CS. Am I screwed for MIT?)
- their test scores (I can’t afford tutoring. Am I screwed for Yale?)
And so on. And the parents post these types of comments too.
Meanwhile, the numbers of applications since many of these colleges went test optional in 2020 has soared to ludicrous levels. That adds pressure. Without a hook (something beyond your control), it’s insanely hard to get into HYPSM and their peers. Most kids are unhooked. There’s also nothing you can do about institutional needs because each year, a college’s institutional needs might be different. You might be interested in this: Why it's so hard to get into an under 15% acceptance rate school
The key to sanity and making sure your child has a reasonably happy high school experience is to have a balanced list of colleges. That doesn’t mean Johnny applies to 20 reaches and 1 safety that he might hate. That means doing research and figuring out which colleges might be appropriate for your child based on his stats, your budget, and him liking the school. Don’t apply to a college just because it’s really hard to get in or because of its ranking in a defunct news magazine.