@SpartanDrew - great advice (as always!). I’ll be leaning on you heavy next week for advice, I’m sure.
@sbjdorio - well, good to know that the $1k was at a lower priced option (presumably) - but still!! The behavior just doesn’t line up with the scholarship. That’s the perplexing thing. Do you know what their “usual” scholarship packages are? I think SpartanDrew’s advice is spot on. Calculate the % of tuition that he got elsewhere, tell them it’s his #1 choice and get them to match that. I’m so impressed that you have a son at MIT and Penn - you got this! Kids don’t get money and negotiating tends to embarass them. When the time comes and we have numbers, I will likely break it out by what their monthly loan payments will be at various options - and do a mock monthly budget for them to see how that looks.
@JeJeJe - true about the snow day at the New School - that likely pushed everything out a bit.
For those of you that are getting tired of waiting - last summer was the absolute worst for us. Our son is a ballet dancer and was at a 5 week summer program in NYC which was like one big 5 week audition. Every day or two, someone was asked to stay for the Fall full-time program. Toward the end of the 5 weeks, our son (and I) were beyond stressed with the waiting and the wondering. (it was our son’s dream school). Can you even imagine waiting for 5 weeks while others around you are selected ??? It was pure agony. (btw, they finally asked him 4 days before the end of the 5 weeks and he has been a very happy student there for the last 1.5 years). Anyway - just wanted to put the agony of the wait in perspective! (what happened to the emoji’s on here? - I wanted to put the one where the guy is pounding his head with a hammer which is how the wait feels about now).
I know the emojis are gone! :-((
I think if you start typing an emoji with characters, it will pop up but I only see 5 choices.
@tripletmama, ha-ha, so my music son and my Penn son are one and the same. He went to Penn after a gap year for exactly 10 weeks before coming home and then he was out of school for two years trying to turn his life around. Nothing will ever be easy for him, but he’s my hero for trying.
Everyone should always feel comfortable asking for more money if it’s needed. It is standard practice and it can be very effective.
It’s actually a bit crazy if you think about it. You might save tens of thousands of dollars just by sending an email which takes 10 minutes to write. That’s exactly what happened to me. I would simply not be getting my MM now if I had just accepted that $0 award which first came with acceptance and not sent a quick email appeal.
Make it clear that X school is your first choice and express that you have these other financial offers. They won’t hold it against you, they will do their best to make it work. As students who they have offered scholarships decline their offers, more money will become available for them to offer to other students.
I can’t remember who said this to me last year but it rings true. Every school wants to get the best possible students for the least amount of money offered. And every student wants the best possible school with the most money offered and the least price tag. It’s all a matter of negotiation and finding that middle ground where the school and the student both think they got a great deal.
Last decision came today. D was not admitted to Rice. Of course, she’s disappointed…but not that much. She had such a good run with her other schools, and she always expected Rice to be the hardest admit since they had so few slots in her area this year. We’re all feeling more angsty about the financials. Still waiting for a complete picture.
Angsting with you in solidarity, @PercussionMama.
@PercussionMama - Sorry your D didn’t get into Rice, but she’s definitely got some amazing options. Here’s hoping the financials pencil out the way you want them to!
I did break down and emailed one school today asking when they plan on sending out scholarship info and they very nicely emailed back with “The good news is we haven’t sent out any scholarship letters yet and plan to do so in the next week…” ugh. ?
@Lendlees - That’s the “good news”?! Hmm. I can think of some better news.
Even though it’s got holes, my spreadsheet is up and running! Of seven alternatives, one has dropped off the list already (I’ve grayed it out as S has declined admission, not without some sadness, due to financial impossibility).
The others show a wide range in COA, from affordable to big stretch. There’s a pretty big gap — about $25k per year — from top to bottom. Interestingly, S’s COA with merit aid bears little to no relation to each school’s original “sticker price.” In fact, the second most expensive college on the list has come in as cheapest, $9k under our in-state option.
S has narrowed down his top three, so that’s where we’ll be focusing our attention in coming weeks. The goal is to get to a number where we can pay his way without debt. Let the angst begin!
NEC emailed scholarship/financial aid numbers to my daughter this afternoon. She’s at a concert but will send them to me later…ummmmm…really? I know they won’t be stellar but would like to see them nonetheless.
Got my financials from NEC. HORRIFIC!!! 25k in scholarship (including dean) but cost of attendance is 70k!!!
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@Lyoder2051 25K is a LOT for NEC! But be sure you are reading it all correctly. When they sent that out last year it was very confusing. Looked like D got around 20 when in fact the merit portion of it was only 10. They added things into the statement like Stafford and some other stuff that made it look falsely inflated.
@Lyoder2051, that is a lot for NEC — you can feel complimented as you commit to someone else.
Honestly, this makes me crazy. S had similar “top awards” that just didn’t close the gap financially. How can you be a “top conservatory” nurturing top talent but only draw from people who can afford to pay $200k-plus?
This is a topic that has been discussed and written about at length, but i thought this was an interesting article on the subject.
https://www.vox.com/first-person/2018/11/12/18057130/money-income-inequality-basic-income-generational-wealth
@Lyoder2051 I feel your pain. That is about where we are for my s and Berklee. I am very proud of him so far, and still waiting on two schools and a waitlist, but at this point him getting an accepted and similar scholarships just isn’t enough. These past few days we have been focusing a lot on the benefits of him choosing our instate conservatory option that has all tuition covered and 0 debt for him or us. Still waiting, still considering appeals, but trying to be realistic at the same time.
Fantastic article @drummerdad18. It resonated on every level.
I think its all a function of the size of endowments of these schools and how much they can simply afford to give. I don’t think they give or don’t give based on some financial aid officer’s whims or the school leadership’s directions. I think simple realities of life such as balancing budgets and checkbooks impact all involved.
Without getting into politics, allow me to also remind all the changes on National Endowment for the Arts (NEA) and the National Endowment for the Humanities (NEH) and how these might be affecting what the schools have in their pocket to give out… See following blog entry from Oberlin for insights on this front… I’m sure you can find many other perspectives and data points on this to make up your own opinion.
https://www.oberlin.edu/news/response-proposed-federal-budget-cuts
I think we can all try to be active in fund raising opportunities for the schools our kids choose eventually. I think the more the schools can raise the more they can give back in merit or need based aid and for that we can all do something to help. However small or big.
To play devil’s advocate, the inverse of your question, @akapiratequeen, is how can you staff a music school with highly skilled faculty, maintain (even improve) facilities, and keep the lights on if all the students are getting a huge discount? Some of our students may end up being those very music faculty someday, and they’ll want to be compensated for all the hard work they put into developing those skills.
When your kid is applying the realities feel very personally directed at you, but they’re not. The number crunchers have responsibilities to the financial health of their institutions, which long-term is in the interest of all future seekers of a music education.
On an individual level, it doesn’t make it suck any less. But as imbalanced as things still are, there’s probably more opportunity now for people with modest incomes to get a college education at “elite” institutions than there ever has been before. I always assumed the inflated sticker price is a kind of redistribution from the well heeled to the low income students, which makes things trickier if you’re in the middle, for sure.
If you worry less about the “elite” part and have talent, there are many more opportunities for affordability.