You have to know your kid, and know what she/he can handle. There are going to be concessions. For us, S18 was willing to risk not being as prepared musically for auditions as he could have been, because he did not want his grades to drop, wanted to take the most challenging academic courses, and wanted to perform in the fall and spring musicals/plays at his HS. If he had been applying to top conservatories, he would have made different decisions. But he was applying to universities with strong music schools but also strong academics, so he needed to walk a tightrope between the two. His strategy probably resulted in a couple of music school denials, but also gained him some big academic merit scholarships. Most importantly, he made the choices and did it his way. But yea, he had plenty of help. Don’t feel bad about being the schedule maven, or about nagging them as deadlines approach. It’s just too complicated a process for most of these kids to handle alone, if they are applying to 5 or more music schools.
@akapiratequeen I"m still trying to drag my son through his applications so he can request audition dates. Things are going to get busy in October when jazz band rehearsals start and the school is doing a fall musical, so pit orchestra is coming up (he loves it and wouldn’t miss it) - but I thought it would happen in April - they never do a musical in the fall! He just took on his own middle school bass student, which is good for him, but just one more thing on his plate. He doesn’t do anything besides music activities, but there are a lot of them. He’s added a four hour rock band practice every Sunday and they have some gigs coming up, and he said something about a new jazz combo. His orchestra teacher asked him if he wants to audition for all-state jazz and at least he had the sense to say no to that!
He’s taking four APs this year, but only two of them seem to have homework (Calc and Gov), one is AP music theory, and the other seems like a joke. He is also taking standard English and an easy science class (and orchestra and jazz band). He is hoping for academic merit so he didn’t want to ease up too much. I’m still operating under the idea that he’ll be lucky to get in somewhere and there will be no music merit.
Fighting the same battle over here. My son and his voice teacher were talking a big game about new repertoire over the summer, but I talked to them both this week and said we need to schedule this prescreen and they pulled 4 or 5 old songs he knows very well that he could use for final auditions too. Sigh of relief. He’s doing a large regional holiday musical and I don’t even want to talk about that. However, he homeschools/dual enrolls so he can work on this some during the day. And honestly I am helping a ton with the secretarial/organization end of this. His job is to have a final list of schools, finish the essays and be ready musically. And he doesn’t have a light load this year at all academically. He has 3 DE classes plus AP Calc and he’s carrying a 4.0 on DE classes he really wants to maintain. I don’t manage the schedule for any of that at all. That’s a lot for a fully formed adult.
If you’re feeling like you’re doing too much, read this thread. It was very helpful for me! 
http://talk.qa.collegeconfidential.com/ask-dean-topics/2088472-how-much-should-parents-help-with-college-admissions.html#latest
This process is MUCH more complex than just applying straight up academically. Especially when you’re playing the merit game. It would be great to just back out and tell him to pick his favorites and apply and money is no object. That is not realistic at our house. Especially with potential grad school in the picture.
Since my kid is technically homeschooled I’m also serving as his counselor. Which I just can’t even get into the documentation required to prove homeschooling for many schools. His transcript is 15 pages and he has 5 references lined up.
Not much to add to the above except one of many “favorite” stories.
My D auditioned for VP and MT and frankly it was just a big stressful mess. In February (after I had had it with the whole process), we discovered at Chicago unifieds that some form with an essay hadn’t been done for a school…one of those in 25 words or less why do you want to go to our school thingamajobs. My D was near tears since the audition was first thing in the morning and she needed to sleep. I told her over a glass of wine (me not her), I got this. I crept down to the business center (remember those!) in the middle of night and filled out the form and wrote the darn essay for her. I just didn’t care anymore. And don’t judge me…you may find yourself there! However I couldn’t audition for her…the only thing that really mattered.
And this was after we figured out she didn’t have the right “uniform” for MT auditions so we had to go frantically shopping in the morning for new clothes! Yea…it was a stressful mess.
So…you can be very imperfect. You just need to get your kid to the audition…that’s all that matters. If it’s ugly along the way, so be it! I would EXPECT that and learn to live with it…and be creative on the fly.
Btw, I think I nailed the essay.
Go @bridgenail, fierce tiger mama! No judgment here. But…they have an outfit for auditions?!! ?
Apparently!! We didn’t get the memo…it was like “homecoming” wear. My D came prepared to “work”. Luckily she did have jazz shoes and we found a “good enough” skirt and shirt at American Apparel across the street. We had a very short time to fix it. It was awful!! She looked a bit different…but she was fine with it. She got plenty of acceptances.
I only say it to point out that as a parent you can screw up. My D was the lead in her high school show, plus choir and everything else…honestly I don’t know how much she really practiced (but I figured she was singing all the time so…it’s all good right?). We really didn’t understand the competition…so I was kind of unconcerned about it all…and maybe that was a good thing. If I had known, I would have been more stressed…but maybe better prepared…
I totally have my kid’s common app password. No shame on this end! Both of us are in and out of there all the time.
This is the link I meant to post in my earlier post if you need some confirmation it’s ok to play secretary and interference for a busy kid that needs guidance. Honestly, some people spend thousands on consults to do this stuff for them. Why is it worse if it’s a parent?
https://www.collegeconfidential.com/articles/much-parents-help-college-admissions
I read a ridiculous piece of drivel prior that had me questioning my sanity saying parents should never be on the app websites. This is more convoluted than any job searching I’ve had to do as an adult.
Last night we did an online info session with University of Rochester. It was really good! I also know a local that got a really good financial offer from Eastman in the last couple years. Considering for the list!
Go @bridgenail!!! I would have done the EXACT SAME THING! There is SO much to these music school apps. I absolutely had my D’s Common App password and helped navigate the entire process. As I’d mentioned before, she was literally the only kid in her school doing anything like this. If I hadn’t helped with the secretarial and administrative duties she would absolutely not be where she is. We had spreadsheets and google docs etc. I gave her tasks and told her what essays she had to write and when. There is the common app essay which she worked on and got great feedback from her AP English teacher and then each supplemental music school app had an essay. It’s a LOT. If your kid is super organized (mine was not) then they will likely be on top of it but it’s so easy to miss something at the 11th hour like in bridenail’s D’s case. We would have been in the same boat and I would have done the same thing. Ultimately it’s the kid that has to bring it in the audition, we can’t audition for them. We just need to make sure everything is in order to get them to that point.
My D’s high school friend is a classical vocalist. She is unbelievably talented. I pushed her to apply to places like Oberlin and others but her Mom said her D wanted to drive the process by herself which is fine. They had no idea what was out there, our choir directors at the high school were not helpful at all nor was the counselor. She ended up in our backyard University with a tiny scholarship. She is happy so that’s all that matters but it certainly isn’t known for it’s classical voice program and I can’t help but think of how many options she could have had with major scholarship had she gone through the process everyone else here is doing. It is such an unknown process to anyone not either in a performing arts HS or with any experience with the college music apps.
Bottom line is, no way my D would be in the school she’s in with the scholarship money she has if I hadn’t been on this site 2 years ago and had driven the process. We would have no idea about scholarships, appeals, best fits, anything. High School people were absolutely useless. If you as a parent are paying the bills (which we are) then you have a vested interest in getting the best possible offer you can for your kid.
And @MusakParent I agree 100% with your analogy comparing to a job search. This is a far more difficult process than a job application! LOL
Sing it, @SpartanDrew !
“Btw, I think I nailed the essay.”
LOL @bridgenail , you made my day!
@bridgenail no judgements here. I know people pay tons of money to consultants to get them into college. So for the common app I have my son’s password and I did the demographic info. I added a list of schools based on our current long list. I added his sports under activities. But he is on his own for leadership, honors, music activities, personal statement if any and the essays. I have no idea how to use naviance so he is on his own there. I have his college board account that I used to register for another SAT but he has to choose where to send it. He’s also on his own for recommendations. He is just so overloaded.
If not for this community I would be lost. I’m so glad I found you all. I’ve gotten suggestions for colleges to look at, learned you can try to appeal merit money, and other tidbits here and there. But I still feel like I’m trying to dig out of a black hole. My kid is stressed. He has zero repertoire for auditions so needs to learn everything.
He had an amazing teacher beginning freshman year until mid-junior year. She taught him scales, and technical abilities and helped him learn music pieces that were either for solo/ensemble contest or regional auditions. She held studio recitals so he learned pieces he enjoyed that progressed as his skills progressed but no “standard repertoire”. She had a baby and stopped teaching. School replaced her with whoever they could get on short notice and he spent nine months with her where I feel like he learned nothing. Actually I think he digressed in skill. So we are starting from scratch with an amazing teacher and she instructed me on what music to buy and he started learning while at the same time prepping for regional audition. She has helped him in choosing the audition materials and is helping with the school search in terms of info on programs that have flute teachers she is well acquainted with through the Midwest.
But he’s an academic. We wanted him to slow down this year but instead it’s his toughest year yet. He has two semesters of DE Rhetoric and wind ensemble. Gave up his lunch period to add concert band. Then the rest is all AP except government. And that’s because there is only one class that is AP and it’s at the same time as the only AP Physics C. He’s student leader in marching band so it’s practice, games, competitions, and leadership clinics on top of it. I managed to get him to quit sports thankfully. So, I have to accept the fact that his music audition won’t be as strong and hope for large academic merit scholarships. We are down to 15 colleges and need to drop further. This forum has helped me to both add and subtract from the list.
I have no parents to talk about it with. I’m a fish out of water and scared to death of audition season.
@UniversityMomOf2 You are not alone!! It’s a relief to know that everyone is challenged in some way (not always the same way) and that we all make compromises. In our case, it was letting S19 settle for board scores I would not have accepted otherwise and spending extra money on extra private lessons for the next few months.
Luckily, his jazz saxophone teacher is an ace at getting him ready for the jazz auditions, he knows many of the standards, and his playing is strong enough to be competitive. But – plot twist! – since he’s decided to go for music ed instead of jazz performance, he suddenly has a classical portion in every audition, and that is another matter entirely. His classical playing is nowhere near at the same level. So we’ve added a classical sax teacher who can give him some direction, but also accepted that he may not be as strong a contender at schools where classical carries more weight.
Another compromise that worries me is that he’s applying to so few schools. But I just don’t see many options in the northeast or midwest that are strong in jazz and music ed. Still looking…kind of. But also acknowledging that I may have to let it go.
At any rate, solidarity! So glad to have you all on the journey.
I am loving your posts! You better believe I have the password to the common ap & other applications. I’ve been helping with basic data and left the essay and short answer questions to her. She’s a good writer so no worries there. She really just needs help with managing time, staying organized, being sure she answered all parts, etc.
This process is WAY more complicated for music majors, no question. We are 95% through the common ap (her school had an issue with class rank so they are still fixing it so we have to skip that part for now) which includes University of Miami, College of St. Rose, Columbia Chicago, NYU & Loyola New Orleans. She also is plugging through aps for Berklee, CalArts, and Roosevelt University (CCPA.) There are a few more she may apply to but St. Rose, Berklee, Columbia & Loyola are the important ones right now because they offer early action or rolling decision. Hoping all apps are submitted by Oct, 1st. Wishful thinking? We plan to do the Financial Aid form right on Oct.1st but does anyone know how long that takes? She has her references lined up, resume is done and will request transcripts through Naviance I believe. She retakes the SAT Oct. 6th so scores will be sent to schools who need them around mid-October. Next steps will involve prescreen videos (Miami & CalArts) Columbia has video audition and NYU Clive Davis requires a complicated video submission (she’s on her own for that, although my husband is the creative one so should be able to assist.)
She has a pretty easy senior year schedule (with the exception of taking two Syracuse University English classes offered by her school) and even gets to leave by 2pm daily. We reduced her theatre classes from 3 days to 1. She’ll still do her school musical which is set for February and is still involved with vocal jazz& Chorale concerts, and she remains a lead singer for a private boy’s school Jazz band. It’s already so much less stressful academically than Junior year. So far, the college process stress is manageable but I know that will change when audition season hits.
Finding CC was like finding a gold mine! We never would have been prepared for this madness without it!
@akapiratequeen I know your S is applying Lawrence. That is the plan here. Who knows if they will someday see each other. No other crossovers though. S just got a new book in the mail today and is trying to decide which piece he will kill himself over. He had started on one he printed from online but it’s different (but better) in the book.
@AmyIzzy the FAFSA took me about an hour last year using the IRS data retrieval tool. It was my first time filling it out. I did it at midnight when it went online. This year doing it for 2. Good luck with Naviance. Hopefully it works better at your school. D’s college just informed us they don’t have her final transcripts that she requested through Naviance and now that she has graduated she has no access to it. We have to go to school and request them in writing. Their counselor is useless so I hate that we have to get counselor recommendations. We need to do resume. S is also retaking SAT October 6th to try to improve upon his previous score, especially on the writing portion. Glad your D has an easy senior year. That’s how my D did hers. (Different area of interest though).
I applied to Columbia as a transfer in a February and had my acceptance a few weeks later. I got my BA there a long time ago. I was in the first class to have dorms which was nice for me being from out of town. It was largely commuter then. They had bought the Lakeside lofts in Printer’s Row and converted it to dorms. At time of move in there were still tenants whose leases weren’t up. One was on my floor and I felt so bad for them. Hope you get a fast response. Also hope they have better staff support than when I went there. We were on our own for internships. There was no after grad job placement assistance. But they still pester me for alumni donations. If your D ends up there message me for area safety info should you want it. Can’t offer much on the school since I graduated so long ago.
@UniversityMomOf2 That would be nice! As of now we are not planning to go out there unless he is admitted – doing a regional audition in NYC. What else is on your S’s list? Good look with the audition music!
P.S. I too have the common app password. But only three of his schools were on it, ultimately. He’s done everything he can on his apps with the exception of Eastman, which is waiting for a prescreen, and Rutgers, which doesn’t seem to have it’s stuff together on schedulng. On we go…
@akapiratequeen as of now schools are St. Olaf, UWEau Claire or Stevens Point, Lawrence, Valparaiso, Uof IL, Millikin, North Central College, UNT, Baldwin Wallace, Loyola New Orleans, Belmont, DePauw, University of Memphis, University of Houston. This was narrowed down from an even larger list based on audition requirements. We are visiting St. Olaf, Eau Claire and Lawrence first week of October and will pass through Stevens Point on way from one to another. Going to use any free Saturday to see Millikin, DePauw and Valparaiso. We will see if that eliminates any. The rest we can’t see ahead of time so I’m making a spreadsheet now of all info and waiting on convos with his music teachers (school and private) to get opinions on the ones we can’t visit. He wanted to pre-screen Frost but then says he doesn’t know if he will actually audition so I took it off the list. I yank I’m going to start a thread asking for info after searching some old ones.
Oh and we’ve already done tour of North Central which is a backyard cheap (ish) safety and he did a camp at UofIL and worked with the people he will be working with if he attends.
A little warning regarding timing as music students start wrapping up their essays. This is based on my D’s audition season in 2015/16, so it may have changed: She was surprised to find “stealth” essays and entire new apps/essay/resume requirements that popped up only when she went to upload her pre-screen videos. One college asked for a resume written entirely in their own format, an essay, a headshot and (“if you want to”!?!) a :30 video of why you want to attend! And it all showed up ONLY when she started uploading her pre-screen. So caution your kids to NOT wait ‘til the last minute to upload that pre-screen.
We also remember (with PTSD!) a couple of “stealth” requirements (open-ended questions, essays, repertoire lists, music resumes, whathaveyou) just as we were uploading pre-screen materials as well. Very stressful, and because we were crazy last minute (tisk tisk!), they really threw us (and he surely didn’t put his best foot forward on those particulars!). In the end it was all fine, but if you can save yourselves that last-minute panic, do!
@momzhood we already tripped over some of those! Not just the prescreens — they pop up when you try to schedule auditions on acceptd. It’s evil!!