Sorry that I’ve been MIA. I’ve been hyperventilating in the corner. No - seriously, I’ve been helping my aviation daughter narrow her list and trying to figure out a way to get her to start her apps. I suspect that will be as successful as her studying for the ACT/SAT. She actually forgot her calculator for the SAT. I pretty much gave up on her and then it seems she has suddenly woken up and might actually go somewhere next year. Sorry for the vent - but I know that you all know what it’s like to have a teenager. Multiply that times 4 and that’s my life. (yes, we have four teenagers: one in college, 2 going to college (god willing) next year and one in ballet school in NYC.
So - back to my musician daughter. I’m actually really, really pissed at her Arts school right now. It’s taken all of her energy (and therefore mine) for the past 3 weeks since she returned to school. Enter one egotistical, masogynistic director of her jazz department who thinks that kids are motivated by FUD (fear, uncertainy and death) and has been known to wield weapons in class (yes, I’m not making this up - the only other girl who was in the department dropped out last year due to his blatant sexism, his very surely nature that reduces at least one kid to tears each class - and yes a weapon was involved). Not sure why the school (one of the top Arts Schools in the nation) hasn’t fired his ass- but for those of you who knows the Arts - well, sometimes the word “eccentric” is pushed to its limits. This guy is psychopathic - no one will gig with him in the area but he somehow ends up teaching kids? Big sigh here. He has beaten our daughter down to the point that I’m ready to yank her out of there - although she assures me that she can take it. Although the emotional abuse of - “you aren’t in Big Band even though you are the best player” - oooppppssss…“sorry, I made a mistake and you are in Big Band” - “you are wonderful and working so hard” to ooppppssss…“if you don’t work harder, then I’ll take you out” - after she is practicing 35 hours a week, is just insane. Needless to say, not much audition prep has been done. The other night I did help my daughter by doing a spreadsheet of her top schools with pre-screen dates and requirements. Can’t wait for the stealth essays to pop their ugly little heads up. 
Thanks for the warning. So - instead of preparing for audition pre-screens our daughter has to memorize (her school won’t allow their students to use music) 10 big band tunes in the next 2 weeks. Lovely. She’s is flunking PE and when I ask her why - she says that she sneaks off and practices during PE. No wonder.
I have seriously considered pulling her out of this insanity. When I talk to her about that she says that she really loves her ensemble members and it’s the best Arts School in the nation - blah, blah, blah. But is it really worth it? I did schedule a meeting with the Music Director (above the psychopath jazz guy) on Friday. We’ll see how that goes. This should be the last thing that we are dealing with in her senior year. After we moved across the nation so she can go to this school. The best laid plans.
Anyway - she absolutely LOVED Berklee this past summer and would love to study there. She auditioned during the summer and got in with a decent scholarships but not enough for our meager coffers. She is going to apply Early Action (or it it Decision?) and is hoping for the best. If not - it’s not meant to be - and as @AmyIzzy pointed out, there is always next year. She is gigging with jazz musicians at a music college in the area (never heard of it) - when her private instructor heard her say that might be her Plan B - she knocked her on the side of the head - so I suppose it’s not a good back-up. My big concern is that she really has no desire for a State School now that she’s been at Berklee. She also toured the New School which felt like a smaller version of Berklee (but without the progressive instructor that she loved at Berklee that is pushing for women to assert themselves in the jazz world - CompMom - just go away
So - her list includes seven (7): Berklee, The New School, MSM (not exactly sure why - except it’s in NYC?), NEC (even though she felt it had a classical feel when we toured), Frost (this one is for mamma!),Oberlin (which I think she might really love!) and Eastman (might be a little too classical for her - but she did cut her teeth on classical so maybe?). She really doesn’t have any “safeties” - I think if she doesn’t get in to any with good scholarship $$ then she might just take a gap year and work hard and reapply in a year. I hope it doesn’t come to that - but it wouldn’t be the end of the world. She is gigging a lot now - so that is an education in itself, along with her amazing private instructor - I’m sure she can piece together a music education that will help her progress.
So - here’s my parenting angst. I know that she would absolutely LOVE Berklee - she thrived like crazy there this summer - loved her bass instructor, her fellow ensemble members and her ensemble leader and did NOT want to leave (given what she came home to, she probably should have just stayed in Boston) - but we don’t have the financial means to send her there (my hubby is disabled). Before my hubby was ill, we spent what Berklee would cost on pre-school but we are in a much different financial situation now- so I’m having a lot of mommy guilt. I know in my head it’s stupid but my heart is hurting for her and I feel a bit like a failure. @SpartanDrew - yeah, I know I’m being silly!
Anyway - that’s where we are at. @akapiratequeen - great stuff getting audition dates already (I am so jealous). @eh1234 - our really “picky pants about her bass” daughter rented a bass this summer in Boston and LOVED it - so it is possible to love a rented bass if you decide to go further afield. And to all the other parents on this board that are ready to climb the walls - we will get through this - those that walked down the path last year are sane (as far as I can tell from their pop ins here and on their other thread), so we will survive. At least that’s what I keep telling myself.