Class of 2023 undergrad/Class of 2021 grad: The Tours, the Auditions, the Journey

@SuzeViolin It is helpful to hear your daughter’s story.

Getting to hear all of these different stories help us realize that there are so many paths and not one “right” way on this musical journey. One idea that I hope to instill in my son as he makes his decision is the idea that, “Wherever you go, there you are.” Any of these opportunities are only as good as he chooses to make them. He has a few friends at Berklee already. Some of them are thriving and sadly one of them is crashing.

His least expensive option is not well known nationally, but has had plenty of successful students who have moved on to bigger arenas after graduation. At at least one of his more affordable choices he could double major and do a BA in another area or do a BA/BM in Jazz Studies.

I’m kind of glad he has been gone these past couple of days so that when we are back together we will spend less time on the disappointment of little $$$ and instead move forward in this journey.

@CaraCoMO It is important that we parents have the time and space to handle our own feelings so we can better help our children as they go through their process. I’ve struggled with that at times. It can be rough…our kids cannot help but notice, because they know us, but all we can do is try our best. It’s good that you have these few days!!

“Wherever you go, there you are” - that’s a keeper! Maybe we should have a pinned thread of great quotations from people on this board!!

Thanks everyone! I’ll keep that in mind. I really do want to fight to go to CMU, so I think that, if the circumstances require it, I’ll definitely look into appealing for more financial aid. I’ll keep everyone posted! Congrats to everyone who’s heard good news recently!

@CaraCoMO just to clarify what I meant in my previous post, I was talking about myself when I was referring to handling feelings (not anything you wrote). When my daughter was experiencing the instrument-related injury, I obviously was the person directing the whole thing, finding resources, helping her figure out how to handle school, contacting teachers when she didn’t have the stamina to explain that she couldn’t write, couldn’t type… It was so hard to watch her go through this. I had to be the one to be strong and stay hopeful and positive, but it was really difficult because I also was very scared. Plus I wanted to hear her play, I missed it terribly.

Congrats on the NYU and MSM acceptances!!! - looks like April will be angsty for sure!

So - looks like some of us are STILL waiting for Curtis, Peabody and Berklee - right?

Rumor has it that Berklee updates their portal at midnight tonight (east coast time). Does anyone remember if that happened last year?

What are you all doing to take your mind off the wait?

Last night I had the pleasure of clinking margarita glasses with BayAreaMom to celebrate our daughter’s acceptances. It was great to put a face with a screen name and share our stories. I also went to Restorative Yoga yesterday before that (had to leave early since I had a coughing fit from a bug that I’m just getting over but so good to get out).

Congratulations to everyone who has received good admissions news and good $ news! And to those who didn’t wind up with the results they/their child hoped for and feel dejected, it’s ok to feel like, “This stinks.” It is crazy that 18+ years of preparation (I know those pre-music years contribute to the overall kid!), boils down to whether you can pull off good enough pre-screening videos, and if so, if you have a good 10 minutes at audition time. It’s nuts. Not to mention that the $ factor can then wind up undermining all of that… But as someone who personally had a very crooked path to eventually get where I needed to be, I believe that resilience (and developing a tolerance for delayed gratification) will get you where to want to be, step by step. Best advice I ever got in my life was in my 20s when I was told, “How do you eat an elephant? Bite by bite.”

I was reflecting to S this morning on what my take-aways are regarding his whole journey to get where he is now – incredibly appreciative to have two options ($ is a whole separate issue and for a variety of reasons, I really have no idea where that stands right now, so I’m setting that aside for now…), but also add in some disappointment and probably even some surprise about not getting further vis a vis some schools. For what it’s worth in case this can benefit anyone reading, or just as a way of sharing this whole crazy music-kid experience:

Having your teacher out of the country the summer when you’re making pre-screening videos, and again during the months of audition prep and audition season, is far from ideal. Obviously you have no control over this, but planning ahead far in advance and accordingly would have been a good idea. You need your teacher’s input, advice, and to be your advocate.

Not being surrounded enough by your musical peers – who can inspire and motivate you – to help you keep striving for your full potential and growth, is not good for kids who really thrive on that kind of influence and environment. Makes me wonder if years ago, we should have sucked it up and done a pre-college program at a conservatory, despite what seemed like a super-inconvenient 2-3 hour train ride, each way. This is not because I think it would have gotten him into “more” or “better,” but because I see how much more he glows and progresses when he has this, and wish he could have experienced it more and sooner (basically it’s just been summers). This is also why I am so happy he is at the point in his life where he will soon have this, every day!

Challenging academic classes/strong grades in H.S. really don’t matter in this game. It really is all about the audition. I’m not saying that the personal and intellectual growth that come from long, hard academic work are not incredibly valuable to one’s development, or saying it’s not worth doing this. I just look back and chuckle at things such as the time spent meeting with the college guidance counselor over the summer to discuss whether it’s a good idea to push on into Honors Geometry over regular because it will “look better to schools” (there were so many of these conversations and concerns over the years). As long as you know it’s a music school-performance route at that point (which we did), realize schools are happy if you know a circle from a square and couldn’t care less if you were in honors or not. The only reference I ever heard about grades was at MSM where they said they might look a bit sideways at a 2.0 GPA and that they might give more merit for strong academics. I actually said semi-jokingly to S this morning, having received his quarter grades with a 3.9 GPA for the quarter, “you might have got into some schools you didn’t, if you had a 3.5.” I swear, as crazy as it sounds, there were times I told him to stop working on academics so hard and practice more! I even hid a book or two. And I’m an educator! [insert laughing, crying emoji here because I can’t!]

While “playing the game” of meeting teachers and doing trial lessons during the application season isn’t a guarantee at all, if you can afford to time and $-wise, I’d recommend it. Based on what some of S’s friends did who live closer to these music schools, a one-off may not cut it, but starting lessons with them as a private student at the start of application season lets them really get to know you and see what you’re capable of. If they are impressed with you, passing pre-screenings is easier, and a “not great” audition might be forgiven more easily. This wasn’t a realistic option for us, but I see the benefit of it if you can swing it.

Pianists need to play on as many pianos as possible over the years! Each piano is different and you don’t get to audition on the one of your choice, or even one you’ve ever played before. S felt one audition didn’t go well because the action on the piano was very light – way lighter than his at home, way lighter than the one he had just warmed up on for several hours right before. It threw off his playing because he couldn’t adjust to it properly and quickly enough. A couple other possible lessons learned – if they designate one piano the “warm up” one vs. all the others available for practice, use that one for at least the final 15-30 minutes, just on the chance they intentionally have chosen a piano with a similar action (I have no idea if they are that intentional about such things, but why risk it), and don’t warm up so much right before an audition that you’re tired, and even better, if you have a time choice, mid to late morning is better than afternoon when you’re tired from feeling like you’re not being responsible if you’re not practicing enough up until the audition.

That’s what I can think of for now!

@SpartanDrew, a question for you about New School housing – do you have any idea why they house most music students in the 20th street dorm when that’s mostly upperclass students and the furthest from the music school? Also, what is the practice room situation like both in the school and in the dorm?

“What are you all doing to take your mind off the wait?”

Instrument upgrade shopping / planning for graduation & summer thoughts.

Glad to see all details falling in place for all so the final decisions can be made. Wishing all a great weekend!

@oboeboy1917 I’m so happy for you and I’m sure you’ll get the best financial package!

My son was also admitted to the school of music but didn’t get into CS. He was a little disappointed but understood that CS was extremely competitive at CMU. I’m going to email the viola professor and to see if my son could have a chance getting into BCSA program after getting there.

@PianoMom88,

So much to think about, isn’t there? So many lessons learned. And still so much to think about in the decision making.

My son actually hasn’t taken regular cello lessons since high school (he’s turning 22 soon) so he prepared for his auditions all on his own except for a lesson here or there.

Further, he didn’t play for 4-5 months last summer because he had such a severe ear infection and hearing loss that his cello didn’t sound good. So he didn’t start practicing for auditions until September.

He also didn’t care where he applied but because I was uncertain he’d get in anywhere because of his academic record/journey, we had to build a list of mostly non-reach schools. He got into all of his schools.

For those reasons and so many more, I’m so in awe of my son’s tenacity and the fact that so many cello professors thought highly of his playing in spite of everything stacked against him. We’ll see where it goes from here.

I have so loved reading about everyone’s journeys. It’s been an inspiring thread, to say the least!

@sbjdorlo I am in awe of your son, too – what bravery, tenacity, and talent. I can’t wait to see what he does next. One of the great joys of this thread has been “meeting” so many extraordinary young people, ether directly, or through their loving (and sometimes confused and frustrated) parents. This path isn’t for sissies; and yet, alone or with our help, our kids prevail! I wish I could hug every one of you!

@pdxtigermom I really hope that works out for him!

@PianoMom88 my D is at Stuyvesant Park Residence and loves it. There are a couple of practice rooms in the basement there as well. A lot of the lower classman/freshman music students are there.

Hi all. I posted a couple of times earlier in the year, but have been quiet for a while because my son’s journey seemed somewhat different than others on this board, since he was applying as a composition major rather than as a performer.

I’ve been following along, though, and I am so happy for everyone’s great news! So many wonderful acceptances and awards.

And…speaking of awards…does anyone have any practical advice for how to appeal for either financial aid and/or merit awards? I’ve been reading that some of you are planning on appealing, but…how is this actually done??

Thank you!

@MMRose depends on the school…have you reached out to ask financial aid depts and/or admissions people whether it is possible to appeal an award? They will generally give you all the information.

Happy to share my experience offline if that would be helpful – PM me…or check with @SpartanDrew, our CC expert (having successfully done it last year)!

Thank you @akapiratequeen! I would love to chat offline, but I don’t think I am allowed to start a PM. Would you (and @SpartanDrew if you are reading this and willing) PM me? That way, I think I can respond once you have initiated a conversation.

Thanks again!

@Lyoder2051 —congrats on all acceptances including Juilliard! @tripletmama —congrats on acceptance and great aid to SFC School of Music! And what a good fit for your D!
@akapiratequeen, @Lyoder2051, and @highnotes2018, congrats on your NYU acceptances. Anyone else whose news I haven’t acknowledged, congratulations as well!!

On a personal note, the roller coaster is in full swing, but maybe it’s just me. My D is somewhat tantalized by her options, but still pretty focused on the in-state BA in music. It feels a bit underwhelming. I wonder whether she is playing it too safe or whether she’s thinking too much like high school will continue for four more years. When do you grab the chance and get out there? Isn’t the time now? Wouldn’t she regret not attending a conservatory program? She’s all music and not even interested in anything else.

@PianoMom88 — congrats on your son’s great admit to New School! @AmyIzzy — congrats on the same for your D! and @lkbux64 —congrats on your S’s admit, too!! @sunnysar — congrats on your D’s admit, and @DrummerDad18 and @CaraCoMO, and @WestOfPCH as well—relish all these great wins!

@mperrine — not sure of the magical number; may depend on career goals, grad school goals, and cost of living in the a city of post-grad choice! I would like my D to stay at or below $24000 but maybe that’s already way too much!! This is the month of worrying about such things.

And @Lyoder2051 — congrats on your Mannes admit!

@meltedbutter —welcome AND congrats on your D’s acceptances at Hartt and Mannes, some wonderful choices.

@PianoMom88 — sorry about the news from MSM and also the same to @JazzMomLisa! Glad your children have good news elsewhere.

@Mamager19 — and also welcome to you and congrats on the three amazing admissions. I hope you do appeal, and tell them that your S can commit if it is affordable!

@BassoonMom2019 —congrats at NYU and MSM! Wonderful that he got such good merit at NYU! You can at least see if MSM might raise their award?

@CaraCoMO — sorry about that last bit of bad news. It seems your S has lots of options now! Good luck with the decision.

I realize this is a difficult time for financial aid. We still don’t have one of our packages, and for some reason it feels great to have a bit of a mental break right now. No news means a focus on spring, work, and end-of-school-year events: a birthday gettogether for D, a grad party to prepare, and lots of music recitals, concerts, and a festival.

With my inclination to push D towards the conservatories, and D’s penchant for staying close to friends maybe a silent stale mate while remaining open to each other’s ideas isn’t bad. I’m hoping D makes use of admitted student days.

@“Pikachu’s Mom”, I’m right there with you.

We’re not pushing for anything, but my son definitely has the much softer option (still a BM program) out of his last 3 choices, and I don’t know what’s best for him.

Given his history of struggles, the easiest school might be the best option so he can actually graduate! It also is the closest to home (80 miles away).

Then there’s the conservatory (and they certainly keep touting themselves as superior over his other choices even though they’re “just” a conservatory at a state school), which he said would be the second most challenging.

The most challenging is the school that gave him the most money and perks (BM program at a state school) and it’s the most challenging because that professor will push my son the hardest because she believes in him so much.

I have no clue what he will do. I feel your struggles and I’m glad you’ve got a mental break right now.

@sbjdorlo — thanks!! I can see how you might have a similar struggle. At least we have a couple of weeks to get used to all these options.

Just got accepted to Berklee!

@jacole congrats!! Any money?