I am struggling between head and heart
The head and heart are both good.
The 40% rule says that when you feel exhausted, you are really only 40% spent.
Are you struggling between particular choices or general notions?
Your “journey-versary” inspired me to create the thread for 2024 undergrad. Parents of juniors, please join here: http://talk.qa.collegeconfidential.com/music-major/2135909-class-of-2024-undergrad-class-of-2022-grad-the-tours-the-auditions-the-journey-p1.html?new=1
@Britmom5 I’m right there with you. We virtually have 3 full rides, 1 that’s about 12K/year out of pocket and another that’s 30K/year out of pocket. We’re in the process of appeals, but I struggle with the “head and heart” issue and how much is too much, even if you can find a way to pull it off… We’ll have to see… This is way harder and more stressful than anticipated… #AprilAngst
@DramaMama603 great!!! We’ll all drop by too!
@akapiratequeen I’m counting on it!!! YAY!
Its hard to keep the thread going in college. Some of us try to post updates in last years thread, but there is not as much interest.
@vistajay so true. I keep cranking out report out of pure stubborness.
@GoForth – I am a follower, keep posting! Looking forward to the Hershey Park edition of the journal this summer!
@GoForth —I am also a follower! I’m so grateful for your thread and all that I learned from it.
I try to pay it forward here when I can.
@Britmom5 While I am all for the lowest price point on college programs in general. I’m wondering how the curriculum compares at each school. As well as opportunites offered at school or in each city. There are many variables to consider when making the final decision.
If you are willing to share which schools you are comparing maybe some of us could provide more input.
Oh, yeah. I am so excited he got that job. He wants to work on his stage presence anyway, and he’ll have like 390 shows during the season. We are driving him there so he can have his upright bass at hand to stay sharp and maybe play gigs outside of the park if that is OK. I figure I’d update that thread after we drop him off. We may revisit the park around July 4th, then also to pick up in August.
He has noted that if he were to go on to a MM, it would be in jazz arranging, a more exciting form of composition for him, since a MM in bass would not be another big topic for him, just more of the same thing.
Re: finances and cost of attendance vs. admissions . . . Interesting thoughts and comments by everyone. You’ve obviously gotta do what makes sense for your individual financial situation and person philosophy
Our family philosophy (that of my parents when they sent me to college and my wife and I as we help our son make his decision) is as follows: attend the absolute best school that you/we can afford.
There are two primary variables at play there: “absolute best school” and “can afford” . . . those two terms have different meanings for different people
We see “best school” in light of the whole package – musical quality, academic quality, reputation, resources, fit, etc. I’m not talking about published rankings per se. The important thing is that those factors are independent of cost to attend.
“Can afford” for us involves a willingness to take on some debt without being at a level that, for our family, would be fiscally untenable given our budget and where we’re willing to sacrifice (and where we’re not) in other aspects of our lives.
In the end, we’d be willing to pay more and take loans to have S attend the school that hits the 95% of my son’s needs/want IF we can afford it, even if we can save many thousands of dollars to have him go somewhere that hits 85% of his needs/wants. And I say that even though our EFC is lower than the cost to attend every single school my S applied to – including our VERY inexpensive local state school where he could theoretically live at home.
@3bobosmom
"My S auditioned for 5 conservatories and was admitted to all with scholarship: Cleveland Institute of Music, NEC, Oberlin, Hartt and Baldwin Wallace, leaning toward CIM. He only decided less than 2 years ago that he wanted to pursue music in college, so we inexperienced and a bit out of our depth. He never did anything other than private lessons; no camps, intensives, anything that would help us along. Would anyone have any helpful advice about or insight regarding CIM or any other thoughts about what to look for as we make this decision? Thank you! "
Congrats to your son; that’s a great list of schools. Your son is a guitarist, is that correct? Our child is at CIM. Jason Vieaux is a top guitar instructor and performer; has your son taken a lesson with him? Is it a good fit? There are so many ways to approach the decision; does your son want to be in an urban area, like Boston or Cleveland? Is a more rural area a better fit? Will you appeal for more scholarship, using one school’s offer as leverage for another? As I understand it, the guitar studio at CIM is quite small, that will have one flavor. It might be different at other schools.
@Britmom5 -We pay more than we could have at our lowest COA alternative, but less than we might have at others, for our kid to attend the school she felt was her best fit. But the huge disclaimer is that we’re fortunate that forgoing the biggest scholarships didn’t mean taking on debt. Significant debt is not a great thing to have when starting out any career, probably worse with a music career.
As far as limitations spurring one on to great art, I’d say it kinda depends on the nature of the limitations. If you don’t work as hard at taking advantage of the education you’re offered because you expect that Impressive Institution’s name on your diploma to do all the heavy lifting once you get out, then you’re letting what you’ve been given get in your own way. But if there aren’t enough practice rooms, if the recording studio is in in disrepair and the tech hasn’t been updated in a couple decades, if you have to commute between campuses all the time to get to your classes, those are garden variety pain-in-the-ass limitations that I don’t think are particularly productive. And performers in training are struggling against their own limitations every darned day, aren’t they?
I would also say the student’s drive and self-motivation is by far the biggest factor in getting the most out of any institution, and far outweighs the difference between institutions in terms of the educational attainment. Beyond that it is somewhat true that certain names get you in the door a little easier in the working world, but I think that’s less true in music than in, say, finance. And even then you have to show up with the goods.
More fortune cookie level wisdom- the best school for your kid may not be the one with the most prestigious name, or the one with the most selective program, the cheapest price tag, or the most expensive price tag.
Lastly, on continuing the Journey threads, just be prepared, parents, getting them in was an intensive collaborative project in which you were probably of necessity intimately involved. Next year it becomes their thing. I have been checking back in here to pay forward the advice I got last year, but if I haven’t said a lot about my daughter’s freshman year, it’s partly out of respect for her privacy, and partly because I’m just not up on the daily details, other than she’s thriving and happy and learning and taking all kinds of interesting classes, and that’s all I need to know. There have been a few decisions to be made, but my view is it’s time to take much more of a back seat now and let her figure things out on her own, bumps included, while of course always being a sympathetic (and needless to say, as the parent, incredibly wise) ear when advice is sought.
Contenders are music production at Drexel (Honors program and merit) for audio production - and Clive Davis, Tisch, NYU for recorded music (merit - but more expensive). He is a twin - so there’s the other twins expenses too.
Happy threadaversary!! I’ve been here since the beginning - in fact, I asked annoying questions on @SpartanDrew’s thread even during March Madness (when you could cut the tension with a knife!) - and yet everyone answered my questions in between checking portals. I will pay it back next year (I feel like I’m still learning - but if anyone wants to know about the ballet world or the aviation world, I do have those down!).
Thank you @GoForth and @SpartanDrew - I’ll never forget the day that I stumbled onto your threads. I was seriously up all night reading. I felt like I was cramming for a final. It was like I had found a gold mine! (and I did!). And @akapiratequeen for taking the baton and running with it and keeping us all on track through the highs and the lows.
Speaking of which - I want to say that although our musicians received the acceptance letters - we deserve a BIG pat on OUR backs. The music college journey is much more complicated than any I have encountered and we crammed for months to help our musicians through it all. I think my daughter will be grateful when I stop sharing links and info with her but I know for a fact, that the information was invaluable to help her get the outcome that she worked hard to obtain. Passionate music playing + information about the colleges and the process = their acceptances. And then there’s @Lyoder2051’s mom with a piano on each floor. Wow! I’m in awe of all of us parents. If there was a game of Music College Trivia - we would all win hands down!!!
I do hope that we can meet up in the future - I have met a few of you in person and hope to meet more. And it would be seriously awesome to have a Confidential Combo. I’m not going anywhere - although I do hope that I can stop obsessively checking this board. I’m going to try to cut it back to once a day! (yes, I’m addicted, too!). Now, I’m going over to join the new one to hopefully share any tidbits that I have learned along the way.
@GoForth What is the 40% rule?
Can I suggest that we do what the last Journey thread folks did? When their musician decided on a college, they changed their image to the college logo? I found it really helpful last year… I’ll start. Our daughter is pressing the acceptance button to Berklee today!!!
Whoooohooooo @tripletmama D! Change that logo Mama!!
Congrats on making it official at Berklee @tripletmama!