The fatigue is real. We cut two programs from the late auditions because he was not that interested in them and was already admitted to some great choices.
@akapiratequeen , we were able to drive to only one of D’s auditions…it was her safety, and she did it first, in early January, not on an official Audition Weekend (we were flying East during those weekends). It’s an EXCELLENT idea to do an early, not-so-important audition! So glad we did, as it was honestly D’s worst. She worked out her nerves there, however (perhaps amplified by meeting with ~6 faculty in a small room for the audition). The school was a 4 hour drive (which turned into 6 nail biting hours) and we got iced in (mountain passes were closed) for FIVE DAYS (so plan for these possible financially terrifying events).
For the rest of D’s auditions, we made a 21 day tour (not coming home in between). We planned lots of time for school visits and possible weather issues, and scheduled in downtime (we did a 4 days off break after audition #4). This won’t work for everyone, but for us, it reduced the travel stress of flying back and forth to the West Coast, and was actually cheaper than doing that. My D is a vocalist, so plane rides during flu season aren’t great, and singers definitely shouldn’t fly the day before an audition, so instrumentalists may make other decisions. For us, it was very important to have some homier, AirBnb style lodgings mixed in; that way we could cook in (and eat healthier), and the huge plus was that D could practice “at home” in the lodging. We rented a car for only one week, because 2 schools were about a 4 hour drive apart.
I know you are in the NYC area, so this probably won’t be necessary for you and your S, but I mention this for others to consider, as well. Because we weren’t able to visit any of D’s potential schools ahead of time, this gave us lots of time for tours, trial lessons, and for sitting in on classes, studio classes and rehearsals. If I am honest, because the outcome of all this is always pretty uncertain, I was determined to make the trip a wonderful experience and memory for us, and I cherish every moment!
My D was completing her high school in a Community College program (she did this on purpose because of auditions), so was able to schedule just her Theory Sequence for Winter Term, and was able to mostly keep up while away…the worst decision we made was dragging 12 lbs worth of Theory textbooks across the country, lol! 50 lbs adds up fast with winter clothing! Also, my D was doing some MT program auditions (which is its own CRAZY process), which contributed to our decision to make the 3 week tour. Anyhow, I just offer this sort of plan as an option.
One big recommendation if you rent a lodging with a kitchen is to consider having groceries delivered in advance of arriving, especially if you don’t have a lot of time or are without a car. We had Whole Foods deliver (including some ready to eat items from their deli) while in Oklahoma City and I am sooo glad we did!
Like @vistajay says, audition fatigue is REAL! Try to figure out what kind of down time will work best for your S or D, and make it happen. It is truly a full time job, so don’t underestimate that. My D dropped 2 programs at the last minute, after she fell in love with a couple of programs, and it was clear she was getting some admission offers. So 9 applications can easily turn into 6 or 7. I suggest trying to prioritize the programs S or D is most interested in, so it’s possible to drop some at the end.
Wow great insights @dramasopranomom ! It’s so important for us newbies to understand the planning involve. Holy cow, a 21-day tour! So glad it all worked out for her!
My poor S has been battling bronchitis already and aside from required marching band hasn’t even been picking up his instrument. After a week on antibiotics he was not getting better so back to doc. Switched antibiotics and is finally seeing some improvement. Fever finally gone. It’s been two weeks now. So needless to say audition season has me worried. But I’m glad marching season is done and he can rest a bit.
Still battling over what schools to apply to because he keeps listening to conflicting band directors. Schools I want to use as early auditions that have lesser requirements he doesn’t even want to apply to. I put my foot down and said it’s that or community college because there is no guarantee his first (or second or third) will want him. He doesn’t like the sound of that. But he can’t suddenly just apply to 4 schools.
Heard back again from his first choice and set up a new visit. This time seeing a recital on a Sunday and meeting for lesson with a different instructor on Monday. She is going to see if she can get some students together for all of them to have a meal together Sunday night or Monday when we go next month. His dad will be making his first visit to that school with us. Earlier in the week he will be making a first visit to a pre-screen school. And he will be attending a leadership clinic at IU in between (I think it’s there. I’m just the check book I guess.) Its not supposed to be open to seniors but they have two open slots so he jumped on it.
Got an email from one of the potentials saying they decided to remove supplementary essays from the application (they use the common app) so two less for him to write. Got his first letter of recommendation but have NO IDEA what to do with it. From what I can tell we provide name and email address and the schools send links. And with the whole waiver of rights to see your letters of recommendation part you have to fill out I’m stumped as to why his band director sent home with him a physical letter and said that’s how he does it period end of story. He wrote a glowing recommendation that was personal and specific even though it’s a “two whom it may concern… he’ll be an asset to any institution he attends” letter on paper that we are to make copies of and submit how exactly? Anybody else encounter this? Hubby wants to sit and have a chat with why these directors have him in a tail spin with their recommendations and all the conflicting information but I’m concerned how it will affect the letter of recommendation he still needs to get from his other band director if he goes about it wrong. It shouldn’t but should and could aren’t the same thing.
So that has been my week. I did putting together his chronological list of what is due when and my daughter and I have been playing with calendar and reminder apps to try to get alerts set up to go to him.
@tripletmama Has your aviation child looked at Lewis University? You don’t have to answer if you don’t want. I just know it’s known for that. I have no clue where you would begin to find schools for that so I don’t envy you doing that and music.
@UniversityMomOf2 I have to say as a parent of a kid who is at the mercy of his music teacher’s recommendation whims at the moment I WISH I had a physical copy of his recommendation letter (which I doubt is written!) I could copy off and mail directly to music admissions/admissions departments. Do you need it in the common app? I might dummy up a gmail to set up a recommender account and set it up with the teacher’s actual e-mail so if they have follow up they can contact the teacher. Does the letter also have his contact info included? I would just make sure they had info so music departments can follow up directly if they want. My other thought is talking to his counselor at school? Is there any way that person would be willing to put it in the system for you?
I have to say, music recommendations are crazy. Some schools have preferred them through the common app. A couple schools have ridiculous long forms to fill out to attach your letter to. Some prompt teachers directly through their portal. It could be SO much simpler! So I kind of don’t blame a music teacher who might get asked by several kids a year applying to 5+ schools to jump through the various hoops on putting their foot down. I don’t think I’d complain if I had a letter in hand.
I used to work in software engineering and there really needs to be a single server to receive and send recommendation letters. Where a teacher would send a single letter to a single e-mail from a prompt. And a student could assign out those letters from there. Even requiring every recommender to set up a common app account seems overly complex to me. Like my son’s piano teacher is listed as a “teacher” and “other” in the common app for my kid so she had to jump though their hoop twice? Let’s not make the process harder for the teachers who are already doing us a favor by writing the letter. I probably see this from the other side too since we technically are homeschooling and I’m serving as my kid’s counselor too. OR another thought is the common app should allow a student’s counselor to receive a letter and easily put it in the system. My son’s guitar teacher has no other teen students and has never written a college reference letter until this year. Why should we ask him to set up an account? Anyway - sorry for the tangential rant. This process is crazy town!
Oh please someone tell me parents don’t have to wear church clothes on audition weekends!? I was hoping yoga pants, hoodie, coffee/hide in the corner with an ipad and some knitting on these weekends. LOL. I really appreciate these experienced recommendations! We may have about a week and a half on the road at some point depending on how prescreens go.
We had a problem with my kid’s prescreens. We have to start over and one is due Nov 1. I don’t want to go overly into detail but I could whine all day. Think happy thoughts we can make it happen. Kid got app #8 out of the common app yesterday and we wanted that one in by Nov 1. I’d like to see one more out for a school we visited but after that he can be done if he wants. We did/are doing financial aid this week and that’s depressing. Our FAFSA is processing now but I think we need to go back and double check the numbers.
Totally agree @MusakParent and @UniversityMomOf2 – it’s crazy. On top of everything else, a couple of schools asked for letters from his school band director, his private teacher, AND a non-music teacher, so he’s scrambling around to get that last one before the 11/1 deadline.
Speaking of crappy systems, I’ve been trying to fill out the CSS profile and it turns out that his dad and I need two separate accounts (we’re divorced) and the only way to create them is to claim we are students! I spent half an hour on the phone with the college board yesterday and, while acknowledging it makes no sense, they basically said they weren’t planning to do anything about it.
Meanwhile, inspired by @dramasopranomom, I’m trying to figure out a travel schedule for this winter. All the schools except one are in driving distance (more or less), so he’ll be doing a regional audition in NYC for that one in January. Travelwise, it’s looking like:
Nov. 30-Dec. 1 Boston
Jan. 11 NYC
Jan. 25-27 upstate (4 hours)
Feb. 1-2 upstate again (5 hours)
Feb. 16 state flagship (only one hour thank goodness!)
Two have prescreens so will schedule later if he gets through. One of those is in NYC but the other is (of course) upstate (6 hours). Tempted to fly for that one.
A couple of questions for the experienced: Do you plan on staying two nights or just one? Are auditions ever canceled due to weather?
@MusakParent , audition season is a good excuse to treat yourself to a fantastic new yoga-pants-outfit, lol! I think casual is just fine, but you’ll want to feel a little “put together”, in my opinion! And, OMG the Letters of Recommendation! UGH! @akapiratequeen programs basically never reschedule for weather…however sometimes they will add spots closer to the end of the weekend, to give everyone a chance to get there. It is super important to create a schedule that leaves time for snags. There will be problems; traffic, weather, illness, exhaustion (sorry guys, lol!), issues at home ( @SpartanDrew didn’t you have a very sick dog issue last year?), etc… Also, I think @BearHouse has an audition fatigue story from last year? If you look at your plan and think to yourself “this will work great as long as everything goes just perfectly” (you know, we’ll drive 4 hours, sleep for 5 hours, complete the last 2 hours of the drive and show up hot for the audition), I urge y’all to consider a better plan! It MIGHT work! But again, the travel and the season in general is exhausting, so give yourselves a break and schedule in some extra time for snaffus. Just my two cents! Sending you all some virtual hugs!
Oye! Our dogs got into a scrap in our backyard and one ended up with a broken leg!!! We had to take him to the doggie emergency vet hospital the night before our EARLY am flight to Miami. $$$$$ for the vet and then we hadn’t accounted for the horrible weather near Detroit and literally sprinted to catch that flight. I still can’t believe we made it. So stressful leaving our sweet dog at the vet, felt like we abandoned him while he waited to be evaluated and eventually had his surgery to put a rod in his leg. All while we were in Miami getting D ready to audition. You can’t plan for this kind of stuff. Crazy times…
@tripletmama Thanks for your responses on the early auditions!
My son has managed to get two auditions scheduled (for schools where this can be done separately from the music supplement). He’s hoping to do his two “least favorite” schools first, but nothing until the end of January. It does look like he may do two days in a row (NJ/Philly) since they are close together. He has five applications in and two more to complete. We’re traveling across the country over the holidays and have arranged to rent an instrument for him. We’ll just have to somehow fit a bass into grandmother’s old Prius, haha.
He has asked his school music director and private teacher for LORs, but I don’t think they’ll do them until they get the actual request through the school app. (He already got his academic LOR from a math teacher). School director is very sweet and will be enthusiastic, but not sure how the letter will be. Private teacher wrote a very odd letter in support of son’s summer program app, so I hope he puts some effort into this one.
He has looked at the music apps, but was kind of blindsided by some of the schools asking exactly what repertoire he’s going to be playing. He’s planning to play whichever etude is assigned for All-State auditions this year since he’ll be working on that for a late February audition anyway, but, he doesn’t know what that is yet. I guess he can do last year’s all state etude, but he thinks it’s ugly The same with excerpts - there are a number he could play, but he didn’t think he would have to make a final call on that now. As a result he doesn’t have any music supplements in yet.
I neglected to mention my church is a running trail. But yep, I probably took a shower and put on clean clothes that morning…I can’t recall but I do remember thinking…we got up early and walked over for a folder, we should have just stayed in bed…but I was still under the impression that it was some sort of job interview where appearances mattered. In the end, the only thing that mattered was “the audition”. Live and learn.
We took the more “random” approach to auditioning…mainly bc I didn’t know to have a strategy. We did the apps, accepted the audition dates (did change one), and set out on the trail (definitely a horse and a shotgun short). It was a mad mess. Auditioning the day that she traveled…it added a little insane stress to the process. Took no precautions on illness … she got sick. Had to buy clothes frantically on the trail. Almost missed a late night flight with an audition early the next morning. Stayed in hotel with a loud anime convention going on and dry, musty air (I can be cheap to a fault). It was like an action movie for months…things kept going wrong but somehow we’d survive at the last moment for yet another perilous journey. And in the end…she got in almost every program.
And…it seems like everyone has a stressful journey regardless. So, enjoy!!!
@MusakParent I will have to go over the requirements for each of the schools again for recommendations but I do remember some requiring an email address for a link to be sent to the teacher because I was thinking to myself that I hope the teacher writes it in Word so they can cut/paste for multiple schools and wondered at the same time how do they write them tailored to specific schools. I was also concerned because our school requires all recommendations be requested through Naviance so I wondered how that would factor in. Our counselor is worthless. Our student body is larger than some of the colleges we are looking at so needless to say she doesn’t know jack about my kid. I kept open a link from another thread about a brag sheet for him to give her for when counselor statements are required (as they are in some places). You are right that the system is messed up and could use some centralized area, especially with common app involved where they want you to agree or not with waiving your right to view recommendations on each application you submit. With all the emails requested and supplemental questionnaires for teachers a written recommendation had me concerned as though we were violating protocol. I’m hoping I can scan and attach somehow. It does have his contact info on it. I guess I will see as we finally submit each what we will have to do. I just find it funny that the school REQUIRES students to use Naviance but teachers are refusing to comply. Sort of isn’t fair to the kids. And why is it required when so many colleges have their own ways of getting recommendations. I can see it for submitting transcripts but letters are a different animal.
I’m with all of the above on comfy yogas??
@UniversityMomOf2 - Yes on Lewis University! It was part of the common app and although I don’t know a lot about it I figured since their mascot is the “Flyers” that it was worthy of inclusion. We did our first aviation tour today - our State School. Less than impressive. We are planning to visit a few Southeast schools in a week or two if my hubby doesn’t strangle our very angsty daughter in the meantime. He has decided that he doesn’t want to go on tours with her because of her angst. My philosophy is that “this too will pass” and trying to keep my eye on the end goal of getting them launched. I can’t imagine a worse year. I started a Facebook page for Aviator parents that has been invaluable for information sharing - now up to 370 equally clueless parents. No auditions required but it’s like a whole other foreign language and incredibly expensive endeavor with both tuition AND flight training fees.
Back to music. I was so desperately hoping to avoid the audition tour but our daughter now has decided to push her top choice to regular vs. Early Acceptance. I don’t think she has any idea what she wants beyond her top choice which contributes to the angst of it all. That, combined with the fact that she doesn’t even live in the same town that we do (6 hours away) has made for a very difficult situation. Her private instructor has really stepped up and is getting in the middle of audition song selection which is a good first step. I signed her up for her first SAT (she hoped to avoid that but some of her schools on the list require it). I doubt that she will do that well (academics are not her strong suit) but it’s a requirement so she will show up next Sat. with a calculator and two #2 pencils. (her triplet sister left for TWO SAT’s with no calculator. Sometimes I feel like screaming at the top of my lungs but lately I’ve just been laughing with sheer frustration of it all, so on the face of it, it looks like I’ve lost my marbles. 
I did a spreadsheet of all the schools for our music daughter - their pre-screen requirements, key dates, etc. She asked me to call her guidance counselor to how to send recommendations and I refused. I think that falls in her “domain”, right?. I would feel like an idiot calling her guidance counselor and asking her that when it would take our daughter two minutes to ask. It does sound more complicated than it should be, though.
We are seriously thinking about having our daughter drop out of her high school and do online school in anticipation of the tours. She is way behind on memorizing jazz tunes for her very demanding high school program (she didn’t have to memorize tunes in her last school and she finds it time consuming and overwhelming). Her jazz ensemble members - none of which are seniors so they don’t have the pressure of auditions, are not understanding why she isn’t 100% focused on memorizing the tunes. It takes her about 4 hours to learn and memorize each tune - and she has to do TWELVE (do the math, that’s 12 x 4 or 48 hours) in the next two weeks - so between that, pre-screens and prepping for auditions, catching up on academics after missing a week of school from being sick, she doesn’t have enough time in the day. It’s tough to watch her cave under the pressure of it all so something has to give. One particularly idiotic ensemble member texted her (in a group text no less) that she should consider taking up a new instrument and that she will never get a college scholarship so he didn’t understand why she was trying. (lovely supportive guy, huh?). She loves her other ensemble members, though, so it’s been a tough time. The only thing that gives me solace is that when he is a senior and doing college apps and pre-screens, etc. that he will have some understanding of how incredibly rude he was.
Anyone know much about the Brubeck Jazz Institute? Someone has mentioned it as a possible add to our jazz musician’s list. I’ve heard nothing about it.
@tripletmama what kind of reference letters is your daughter having problems with? I think it’s ok to step in if she’s feeling overwhelmed and you’re up to it. But with 3 looking at colleges at once, I can totally see how you’d need to measure that out a bit. LOL. I’m sorry she’s putting up with an unsupportive fellow musician. Yuck.
Music reference letters are just all over the place for us and how they’re reported. Really if kid were doing this all on his own, he’d probably apply to 3 schools we can’t afford and nothing would get in on time. I actually typed up a bulleted list for the kid’s primary music teacher. One of his ensemble teachers is bucking for cookie. That guy has had his reference letter in the system within 24 hours of the request every time! Go teacher!
If my daughter wants to audition for VP/MT programs when she gets to be a junior, I may switch her to a private teacher more experienced with the process. Our private teacher this week is being less than helpful and responsive. I could write a book about the problems we’re having this week but I don’t want to be too specific. This is where I need a parent only FB book to vent! It’s nice you have one for your other child’s needs TripletMama!
@MusakParent I think that’s a great idea. We switched our son to a music teacher who was very experienced with the audition process about a year ago, when it was clear he’d be applying to music schools. It’s been unbelievably helpful. Starting last year, this teacher recommended summer programs and honor bands to get S “in the mix” and learn where he stood in the applicant pool. He pretty much forced him to apply for all-states, even though he’d never even done a regional jazz band. He’s handling the prescreens entirely, including hiring musicians and using the recording studio at the school where he teaches. He’s working with S on his audition material (I gave him the spreadsheet and he took it from there). Maybe best of all, he has students at most of the major programs and was able to help S refine his list to make sure he was heading for places that would be a good fit. And of course, he wrote terrific recommendations.
Wow @akapiratequeen! What a fantastic experience! Great idea about switching to a teacher who has more experience with the application/audition process. Thinking it might be time for us to go that route…
@mom2clarinetobsessedkid I can’t recommend it strongly enough. That and CC are the two things that are keeping me sane this year!
I wish I had thought to make a change sooner. Ugh. I actually really like this teacher and the teacher is really good. But is also a performing artist and has his hands in 10 things at once so once he’s not in a lesson we are just off his radar. Even if I send multiple persistent mails. If he does not get his reference letters in on time we may be need to rethink. I offered to mock up an e-mail address for him and be in charge of that at the beginning of the process because I know how busy he is and he said no problem that he could do it. Grrr!
I will say not being in a B&M typical school is saving us this year! The boy is doing 1 live community college class this fall but I think he will be all online for spring semester and he might drop back a class too. Especially since he’s doing a huge theater production this fall as well.
We just found out the kid was offered a spot in the honors program at our flagship U (he got admissions a week ago). That might make that option much more appealing especially if he also gets through prescreens and into the school of music. He may get offered merit money as well, we will see! Especially with honors even with a BA I feel like that could be a really good option for him! Nice to have that. And we can afford sticker there so that helps too. I hadn’t really thought about honors when he applied.
@akapiratequeen that’s great your private teacher is handling everything. It’s nice to work with someone so put together. Our experience is just so the opposite which I think is adding to S dragging his butt.
@MusakParent A FB Group would be so awesome. I feel ya there.
@tripletmama I’m sorry you a) don’t have the luxury of your child being home for this process and b) that you have two very complicated areas that your kids are going into. You are really a rockstar! I’m also sending you a quick PM.