@pdxtigermom - oh boy. If he didn’t get EA to CalTech I can’t even imagine the stats and extra-cirr. that those accepted had. Unbelievable! Congrats on UofM audition.
And welcome to the newbies…
Unfortunately we are Asian and Asian male is the most competitive race during college admission process and computer science is extremely competitive major. We’re fine with the reality. I’m sure my son will end up in a school that he likes.
PM’ed you pdxtigermom
On rejection…from my extensive experience, it seems harder on the parents. There is nothing you can do but worry and feel bad for your kid. Students tend to deal with it in different ways…but for many, after licking their wounds for a few hours or a few days, rejection seems to be a great motivator. Many know they belong in a music program (based on experiences) and will fight back. And this willingness to “fight” IS a crucial skill (and really shows if they should be in a music program…those that should will NOT give up).
Many of these kids probably haven’t had a lot of rejection…but as they go higher, it’s inevitable. It’s good for them to have to work through the emotions stemming from rejection (particularly doubt) and have to fight back. In most cases, they’ll overcome it more quickly than the parents…because they can actually work on their music … as all a parent can do is sit and worry.
Hang in there. Find distractions…it is a loooong ride.
@bridgenail thank you for sharing your thoughts. It is a great way to put perspective on this process.
One thing that we learned from my son’s Northwestern ED disappointment is to take what the adjudicators say at the auditions with a grain of salt. It was his first and only audition so far, but the feedback that he got on the spot was very positive and the person that walked him out shook has hand, smiled, and said he looked forward to seeing him again soon. That feedback artificially inflated our expectations about the admission decision. Has anyone else had an experience like that?
Every year there are stories like your S’s. It’s unfortunately that it happens…but it happens EVERY year. This is opinion but still … I would try to see the rejection in as positive a light as possible.
1.) Enthusiasm in the Moment. The teacher (adjudicator) most likely was being honest “in the moment”. Teachers come with all kinds of personalities. You would think that they are the circumspect “educators” always with your kids best interest in mind. College professors come in many packages. Maybe he’s a loose-lipped, shot from the hip kind of teacher where it works 90% of the time (and he just lets the 10% error rate go…my D’s UG teacher definitely had this personality). Or maybe he got blind-sided and is mad about it too. You’ll never know. However, in the moment, I would guess he was honest…and in a cruel twist…that’s a good thing. He had a positive response.
2.) Reality in the School. Teachers are rarely the sole deciders. Again the teacher was probably honest…and then the wheels of the organization started to grind. At that point, a whole host of issues are being juggled and that’s where the teacher/student can lose out. It’s not always about your kid’s talent at that point. It’s about dept needs being balanced out by administrators in many cases…which can blind-side a teacher and you. I think my D’s UG teacher’s behavior was due to the large administration…she went forcibly after what she wanted…she won some…she lost some.
AND, many “warm and fuzzies” do work out from auditions BUT not all!! So no matter what, you always need to wait for a written acceptance and keep auditioning. The positives from that audition shouldn’t be dismissed altogether…just put into perspective. It sounds like he’s on the right track.
lkbux64, ugh i feel your pain. We have all
had experiences like that, where our kids have said “I felt really good about how i played, and they kept giving me compliments,” and then BOOM, a surprise rejection. It’s so heartbreaking. But it definitely means that was NOT the right place for him. I know that for sure. And it’s a good lesson that in the future, you can’t count on ANYTHING. Just keep going through the process, the right fit will reveal
itself. Good luck and take deep breaths.
@lkbux64 I feel for you. Rejection is never easy on student or parent and, while getting the positive feedback after an audition is always awesome, it does leave the impression that the result will be acceptance so that probably added an extra element of disappointment. I’m guessing he really was great and it wasn’t just “fluff” compliments. But I have learned from experienced parents and college staff:
- You never know exactly what they are looking for and/or the needs they have in terms of numbers or instrument slots
- When the competition moves from local to national, it’s a whole new world.
It is true that many of our kids haven’t experienced much rejection along the way and may be a little too used to the ego strokes. However, I’m sure they have had some moments of rejection (maybe not getting into an audition band or not getting the lead in a school musical) so those challenging times will definitely help them through the college experience and hopefully make them stronger and more determined.
As for academic acceptance, it really is an interesting discussion. It is definitely frustrating that our kids (and the music faculty) could put so much into an audition, not to mention the travel costs involved, and still not make the cut academically. My guess is that if you wow them at the audition and you are at least close to academic expectations, they will find a way to snag you! My daughter’s biggest challenge academically will be University of Miami Frost. They really stressed the academics during the music tour which worried my daughter. She has strong grades in school, but her SAT/ACT scores are below the averages they list for acceptance. However, I am a strong believer in “what’s meant to be will be” so if she is not accepted, it simply tells me that wasn’t the best place for her.
Welcome again to the newbies and I am looking forward to updates from everyone!
Hello everyone! My son is applying to colleges and conservatories as a vocal performance major. His dad and I do not have a classical music background, so we have been kind of clueless through it all. His voice teacher has not been very much help. I have had to do all of the research to figure out what programs to send him to during high school, etc…I had him apply to 12 schools, 10 of which required prescreens just because I know so little about what schools are looking for. And it is sooooo SUBJECTIVE. The prescreens should weed out some schools for him. I wanted to make sure he has a shot of getting in somewhere! Thank goodness for college confidential!!! This site has been a lifesaver!!
It came to mind that S experienced rejection thru high school. Especially trying out for DCI drum corps. That whole experience revealed how one might approach a national level audition.
An interesting perspective on the rejections…I judge a case competition at our local university. These are super high-performing kids (in business school - but has some parallels to music) who also aren’t used to rejection. The professor specifically asks us as judges to give critical feedback during the process to avoid what happened @lkbux64’s son. He said it drives the students crazy to get all kinds of positive feedback and then get low scores on the judging. I would hope that the adjudicators/teachers at the schools our kids are applying to would do the same.
On a different note, personally we found Northwestern to be less welcoming that many of the other schools we toured. Their head of percussion wouldn’t even answer my kid’s emails requesting a ‘meet and greet’ - one of the only schools where this happened. Just our own experience - other folks have had different interactions so maybe she was just an anomaly.
We had one or two teachers that didn’t respond at a few schools. After a follow up, we usually heard back. Although one teacher at UCLA never responded!
Thanks all for the feedback. It’s very helpful. @Lendlees, interesting point about being welcoming. We experienced the same lack of responsiveness from Northwestern. Hmm. . . .
My kid takes piano in a large program with a well regarded and experienced teacher who has taught locally for many years in the upper midwest and gets invited to teach at workshops around the country. She mentioned to us once she thought Northwestern’s music admissions process was the most stressful and least predicable music programs she (and her peers in our music program) has regularly sent students to. She’s seen students get in she thought would not and other students she thought were sure things not make it through prescreens. We got no love or warm fuzzies when we visited the music school there. It was definitely one of the least welcoming music programs we visited. So was Saint Olaf music actually. And the rest of Saint Olaf just oozes warm and welcoming. My kid applied to and is enthusiastic about both anyway.
I truly believe good news is heading this way for all of us @lkbux64! I’m sorry for that experience after getting positive feedback. That is a rough start. It seems obvious that teachers should probably stay safely neutral at least through audition days but I guess personalities and personal opinions can pop out. I’m sure your son is super talented to get positive feedback on the spot!
My kid had an EA audition last month and felt he got no love at all and now I’m grateful. EA results on that come out TOMORROW!
I would also advise applicants not to read too much into negative/flat/absent feedback at auditions. Two of the schools my D applied to last year said next to nothing to her. One of the more competitive programs even told her she was finished by saying “done” and nothing else to her. Both programs admitted her. So, you never really know until you know.
At one of S’ auditions, S asked the prof how he thought it went.
Need some advice - my D, a Classical VP student, applied to 9 schools. All 9 have pre-screen requirement. So far she was invited to audition at 3 schools and we are waiting to hear from the other 6. Assuming the schedule allows, does she audition at all the places that invite her? Is it time to prioritize? We have a ton of miles saved so flying isn’t much of an issue. But there is an exhaustion issue. If she went everywhere it’s 6 weeks in a row. Is it too much? Help!!!
My son applied to 12 schools, 10 of which were prescreens. He’s probably going to send in video auditions for the ones that are less competitive for the schools that have that as an option.
@vistajay Regarding sightreading at USC, I think different studios/professors weigh it differently. Some studios at USC will accept recorded auditions, but the classical percussion studio wants to see applicants in person, at least in part to evaluate sightreading.