Hi there, I have been a member for a while, but this is a first question to the CC community. Our child is a border at a New England Prep School and is on a varsity team at school. He wants to join and play on a club team in addition to the varsity team at school next year. Has anyone’s child had experience with this ? How is playing outside of school affects academics and social life? Is it generally worth it? The school seems to encourage it but we are worried about about academics and general logistics.
Thanks very much for your thoughts.
This is likely to depending on the school and the sport. I think @cinnamon1212 might be able to help?
Calling @SevenDad and @PhotographerMom.
When ChoatieMom calls, I answer. 
My younger daughter trained and participated in a a club-based sport while she was in boarding school. In fact, her ability to train was a factor in which schools she initially applied to (and then again when she transferred to a new school as a Junior).
As gardenstategal mentions, a lot is going to depend on the school and sport (and the kid). Many BS have a sports requirement, so for starters, you have to see if the school can waive that or have some flexibility.
Then there are the logistics of transportation to/from the outside club. At her first BS, my daughter was fortunate in that she was able to walk to a train into NYC where she could train (with national team coach, part of the appeal of that particular school). The school she transferred to was in driving distance (not close, mind you, but we made it work) of our house and another elite coach/club.
Also to consider…how much of the BS experience will your kid miss due to simply not being on campus. My daughter would often return from practices late at night 2x per week, having missed the school’s dinner time, and then would be away for at least a weekend a month at competitions in season.
She’s now a junior at a selective university where she is a (partial) scholarship athlete. So, for us, the compromises she made in her BS/HS experience WERE worth it. I remember back when she was looking at BSs how some parents questioned the wisdom of prioritizing a sport as much as we did. Well, it all seemed to work out in the end.
But IMO, it’s really going to depend on many variables. Are you considering this because the kid is a recruitable athlete (and you have to be honest with yourself and/or get a trustworthy third-party opinion)? Are you considering this because s/he wants to play at a higher level than her/his BS can offer? Only you/your kid can say if it was “worth it” in the end. If your goal is athletic recruitment and kid does not get any offers that s/he or you are interested in, will you have thought that all the compromises you made were a waste if time/money/opportunity? I’d hope not.
TLDR: It’s doable, but much depends on the school/sport/kid. Is it worth it? YMMV.
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This is quite common at our NE prep school, but as others said it really depends on the student and the sport. And also family situation, most kids doing it are either day students or local boarders (i.e. live close enough that parents can pick them up and take to their club games/practices at least on weekends). There are some boarding school coaches that also coach club teams nearby and may help facilitate the logistics but even so it is likely going to be costly and time consuming. Plus there will inevitably be tournaments etc. over the summer so if you live across the country it is not all that practical. There are some club programs that cater to boarding school kids for soccer and possibly other sports as well so if it applies I would look into that.
I think whether it is worth it really depends on your goals, while our kid thinks he wants to play in college, no idea whether it will happen. But being on the club team has helped him keep in touch with his buddies at home, have him a place to play in the summer and additional social outlet which has been a big positive overall. I do think some club teams are way more intense than others, ours is built on premise that kids favor their school sports in season, so the practices/games are limited to weekends only. I am not sure doing a club that practices three times a week plus weekends would be doable unless you give up everything else which our BS really does not allow you to do (before junior year anyway). I would definitely ask a lot of questions before going forward.
Also, this year really killed club teams at BS because students were not allowed to participate while living on campus, and at a number of schools even day students had to go remote if they wanted to play club sports. This will hopefully change by the fall but it is not guaranteed, so I would ask that question before committing to anything.
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It is ice hockey. The school coach supports the idea generally, as far as we know.
thanks @ChoatieMom, always appreciate your feedback and involvement with CC.
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This is super helpful @SevenDad and we appreciate your thoughts. The kid wants to play on the club team in addition to the school ice hockey season. There is some pressure to make it varsity next year and he wants to improve very much. There is also some pressure from excellent players on the school team, who are all trying out for club teams, now that Covid restrictions are being loosened (somewhat). I think adding a club team during season is a bit much, but at the same time, only weekends will be possible for travel and additional practices anyway. Travel from school to the club sport will be possible because we live 1.5 hour away from the school. Games, not sure, but we could pool maybe? The kid wants to play for college but we don’t know if it will actually happen. Per now, we are thinking through this and weighing options, as the club team placement is about to be announced, and if he makes it, he’ll need to make a decision. Thanks again.
thanks @417WHB, gratified to know it’s common in the prep school world. We are generally fine with the idea, provided his school life and academics don’t suffer too much. He will commit to weekends only, that’s the idea. Totally agree that the success of this depends on many variables. Ours are somewhat similar to your daughter’s. Three practices a week at club team will definitely not be possible.
NP. Feel free to PM if you have specific questions.
My daughter played for her school’s team her frosh and soph years (fencing). The school coach was well aware of her goal (to continue to fence on the national circuit and possibly fence in college) and was supportive of her outside training and completion schedule. I don’t think she missed more than one or two school competitions due to club-based travel — and was sure to prioritize the “important” scholastic meets. Unlike the situation you describe, I think the kids who did both club/scholastic were more of a minority in my daughter’s case…but it’s notable that all the kids who did train/compete at the club level all ended up as NCAA-level fencers.
I will say that while being 1 hour from my daughter’s school (junior/senior years) worked, the driving can become a grind after a while…for parents and child. A lot of time in the car/a lot of Chipotle eaten on the run. Just keep that in mind.
As for your son’s dream to play in college…there are a lot more youth hockey players than there are fencers, so he’s going to want to get some HONEST opinions on his potential. And start communicating with coaches at targeted programs soon, even to just get on their radar.
Yes, understood and agreed. Chances for playing in college might or might not happen - will weigh this decision carefully for sure. Thanks very much for the feedback.
Freshman year - wish I had know earlier to attend club tryouts - the coach dissuaded us from doing club Freshman year because it would be a big trek to practices (true) and that kiddo should focus on school, making friends, weekend activities, etc. Could not do club back home. Lost a lot of time by transitioning to boarding school and being so far from home. Honestly it is a big risk. We know parents who have the time and the mean$s$ that actually rented a house and would take their kiddos to practice every weekend. Depends on where your BS is located, also, Seems like it is more feasible if your school is located within an hour to 90 minutes of where the club team practices.
Sophomore year & Junior years - summer before Sophomore year tried out for strong club team. Did a few Fall practices. Then in winter - COVID hit. Spent some time with club team over the summer. Our school would not permit students to leave for club sports and come back. We do know of some kids who did it anyway - these were Day students. Also, we knew kids (soccer, hockey, lax) who opted for online learning and did club at home.
Junior year - not much club action this year for us. Again, many kids opted to stay online or just return home to their old school and old club teams.
Like so much in life – “it depends” 
My son is a soccer player, so I have no hockey specific knowledge. I know with soccer pretty much all the boys who went on/are going to play in college also played club soccer. There’s a club in CT/MA that focuses on prep school players, and which takes care of most transportation to practices etc so for us it was easier than my son playing for a regular club. But kids do play for non prep school oriented clubs every year too.
Another factor in the “it depends” calculus – is your son excellent at time management? That is the critical factor that makes playing club not a big deal, or a deal breaker. Two of my sons could not manage to juggle boarding school and club sports, and never tried. My youngest managed club sports, boarding school sports, another equivalent school activity and top grades so it can be done, but that is the only son with world class time management skills.
If your son is going into 10th grade, it is not to early to get a coach’s opinion about whether or not playing in college looks like it might be possible. I understand that the level may yet be unclear, but before putting all these resources into club hockey it would be good to know if it makes sense first. (side note, is your son really focused and driven to play at the highest level he can? I’ve found this is the single most important trait as to whether a kid plays in college or not, talent isn’t as important as drive).
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One thing that can mean it much easier is having several other kids from your school on the club team. The logistical arrangements can be shared and the coach is more likely to be understanding about school conflicts.
Several kids on DS’ school soccer team played on a club team together and the boarders were generally driven by day student parents. (And the day students were often the ones recommending their school teammates to the club.)
A previous member of this board had a D who played on a volleyball club team with a handful of her BS friends. @SevenDad and his D did it the hard way!
If you coach is supportive, it’s likely there’s already a cohort who are looped in with this team. If so, it’d be great to talk with them about their experience.
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Both my kids played/play club sports. They are both day students. It is the biggest source of stress in their lives. I honestly have come to the realization that my kids would be sailing smoothly at two of the toughest schools in the country were it not for the hours of club sports. So my recommendation is to consider carefully depending on how rigorous your sons school is.
I have a hard time picturing a club coach, for a high level team (and is it worth it if it isn’t a high level team?), and if your kid is going to get meaningful playing time, being ok with a kid missing practices and only playing in games. I think a solid conversation with the club coach would be in order before you fork over any money.
Also, just a note about the school coach being supportive. They almost always are, doesn’t mean it’s a good idea. Is the school coach also a teacher? Has he/she taught your son?
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Boys ice hockey is one of the very intense club sports. But also necessary since kids can’t continue to develop while only playing the short boarding school season and most schools do do off season practices at the BS. A fair number of clubs do what’s called a split season where BS kids can play with them in the fall and then do the school season. Kids do it but it is a massive grind. Most do some sort of conditioning as a fall sport which can be done in early morning so they can head to practice after school, usually 3 times a week. Unless you want to play in college you really do not want that kind of grind. As @one1ofeach said most coaches will absolutely support it because they want the team to be as good as possible (and to be fair, the majority of varsity hockey players do this at a lot of BSs) but it comes at a cost, you really miss out on a lot of other stuff by signing up for this.
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Thanks @Golfgr8, @417WHB, @cinnamon1212 and all others who chipped in their thoughts on this, you guys all provided invaluable insights and feedback. We are deciding literally now because the kid heard in the last two days and made it to two teams. One club wants a commitment to weekday practices, which is not possible, especially at this time with unknown BS school policy. The second club put him in a lower level team. The club is fine with him skipping practices, but wants him to play a level down. We wonder if this is worth the sacrifice with everything you guys already mentioned above; we don’t think so. Given the time involved driving to games, being away from school and friends, less time for homework and uncertainty of playing in college), I am not sure it’s all worth it at this time. In addition, currently, the kid’s BS is not clear about their protocol for leaving the campus next year so we wonder if all of this will actually work out (especially if we pay and lose the club deposit) We are leaning towards letting the idea go. The kid seems ok with it now that placement on teams has been decided. Thanks to everyone for contributing.
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Thanks @one1ofeach , your thoughts totally resonate. These are our biggest concerns. Right now with placements made, we are leaning against the idea of the club next year. Also, Covid climate protocols and uncertainty of leaving campus next year, add to this decision. Thanks very much for your thoughts on this. Greatly appreciated.
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@Nora81 - we know a few students who felt disappointed that they went down to a lower level on their club/travel teams once they went off to Boarding school…it seemed that missing practices was one factor of this. It is difficult to juggle both club and boarding school unless both are within reasonable proximity. Only you can make that call - how to balance it and what your priorities are. For us, level of play suffered going to BS - kiddo would have been a better athlete staying at home or being a day student…but would have missed out on other aspects of learning, community, exposure to new experiences, etc. It’s tough for kids to make this decision. Some of it also has to do with $$$. Club sports are $$.
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I don’t have any hockey players for children, but have a friend that has a kid that was drafted into a Canadian junior league, but opted to go to a boarding school called Mt St Charles (?) in RI. From this snippet, it would seem like if this is the co-hort for HS hockey then there really is a lot of competition.
I have a friend who was recruited by Hotchkiss to play hockey and then went to his New England SLAC to play hockey and now lives in an outer borough working at a finance company (and has a wonderful, fulfilling life completely separate from the hockey part of his youth), so I guess as others have said unless it’s clear you want to go/are able to go the Mt St Charles route, have an HONEST look at where it will get you and what it will take.