@Marian
Worth a read:
http://getschooled.blog.myajc.com/2016/04/11/what-colleges-dont-tell-you-most-campus-sexual-assaults-happen-in-dorms-freshmen-particularly-vulnerable/
Thank you for the link, @mom23g8kids.
If you hunt around the Parents Forum, I think youâll find some very informative threads on the subject of alcohol and its role in many unfortunate occurrences on college campuses. Thereâs some very enlightening information here, and several people who post regularly are genuine experts on the topic.
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I liked your post and agreed with what you said. 
Well, of course it doesnât surprise me that most sexual assaults on campus happen in dorms and residential buildings. That is where most students live, where they party, where they sleep. Itâs much more likely to happen there than in the library, dining hall or classroom buildings, right? And, yes, most victims of sexual assault are at least casually acquainted with their attacker.
Iâve observed the exact same thing. And in fact, Iâd say the women a generation older than me - in their 70s - are even less body-shy than we are. I think itâs partly that itâs just not that easy to change under a towel as you get old and creaky. Some of the teen and tween girls even use the toilet stalls to change which is particularly annoying as there are only two of them (six showers and at least 50 lockers). I think it may not just be an age thing, most of the younger users are from the Caribbean or are Hispanic while the older women are more likely to be American born African-Americans or white.
And then strangely enough there are a certain set of Moms of 7 to 10 year old boys who seem to think that their kids canât change on their own in the boys locker room (which is separate from the Menâs locker room) and bring them in to the adult womenâs locker room. Drives me crazy since our shower room is designed in such away it is not possible to reach your towel without exposing yourself.
Thatâs true for all rapes, not just ones involving students.
My daughterâs freshman dorm at St Olaf is single sex by floor.
Iâve read this whole thread, and what strikes me is that there isnât even a single definition of coed dorms. Looks like any building that houses both men and women is a coed dorm, even if the sexes are separated by floor, wing, whatever. In that case, sure. Iâd believe that 90% of college dorms and coed. Also looks like whatever our experience with coed, we assume thatâs the norm. Odd, since not one of us has experience with more than a small percentage of colleges, even if our own 5 kids each looked at 25 different institutions.
While in the 20 or so colleges my own kids visited I never saw a coed bathroom, I did see one where the section of the floor was menâs or womenâs housing depending on enrollment. The year we visited, the hall was a womenâs hall, and so the bathroom a ladies room. The residents had decorated the urinals, not in use at the time obviously, with pretty floral arrangements.
In thinking about the generational issue with locker rooms, I am going to agree, also, that older women are less shy about their bodies. My gymâs shower room has stalls with a small exterior changing area. The older women often emerge into the main locker area with their underwear on. None of it bothers me, as Iâve been in locker rooms since I was a child.
Why doesnât someone complain about the 7 to 10 year old boys in the womenâs locker room? My gym (and all the city gyms) have a rule that any child age 6 and up must use their correct locker room. There are family changing rooms in the newer facilities. (They also built a concrete wall in the older facility that shields the main locker room so that moms who are walking their kids to the pool through the locker room can go that way and the kids donât see into the main locker area.)
And I am not shy about complaining when there is a 6+ year old boy in the main locker area.
I think Dâs main issue with the bathroom situation in her dorm is having a bathroom with only one toilet, one shower, and two sinks shared among EIGHT girls.
OP, your postings have changed since you began this thread. Instead of concern that your D just needs her space when it comes to boys, youâre now focusing on rape and drunkeness and pornography. I wonder-and please donât feel that you must respond-if your experience in college dorms was more negative than just people banging on your door at all hours.
You will help your D choose her college within your own parameters, of course. As long as you truly understand that living in a single sex environment isnât going to be a magic bullet keeping your D completely undisturbed or safe.
In college back in the 80s, I lived in a coed-floor/single-sex room freshman dorm (single sex bathroom), then a coed-floor/single sex rooms theme house with coed bathrooms, and then another theme house with coed rooms (for those who wished) and coed bathrooms. I was in a 4-person and a 8-person coed room at various times in that house. Yes, I would say that the coed dorms did increase or facilitate promiscuity but mainly in the dorms/houses with singles (as in single person rooms). Youth and opportunity. As college student I viewed that as a positive not a negative 
Believe me, we do complain about the boys! Every single time. Thereâs a lot of turnover with the swimming classes so there are new sets of Moms all the time and no matter how many signs people put up unless they are actually confronted by the staff, they think that what they want is what they get to do.
When my daughter was 2-3 years old, my husband would take her to the indoor pool at our fitness center. Some older guy complained about having her in the locker room. I think thatâs ridiculous. My 2 year old wasnât checking out your saggy junk! 
Yes, if a kid is 7 its time for him to be elsewhere.
I would ask OP to perhaps keep an open mind rather than certainty of doom and gloom in respect to coed dorms as this student at Pomona college found out
http://college.usatoday.com/2014/11/06/the-perks-of-living-in-a-co-ed-dorm/
âHaving lived in a co-ed dorm for two months now, I would whole-heartedly say that I have been loving this brand-new experience. Just after a couple of weeks since move-in day, I would gladly join a midnight study break in my pajamas. There have been so many fun moments when I laughed at how simultaneously as I got dressed and undressed each day, âŠâ
âThe co-ed residential experience has offered me much insight into the mundane lives of my peers. Significantly, there is no longer a sense of mystery about people of the opposite gender that has previously limited my interaction with them to a certain degree.â
âAs a co-ed dorm resident, I would personally like to thank my college for this housing arrangement, believing that it was intentionally thought-through to offer a holistic educational experience through the residential life. It is interesting to observe how much co-ed housing arrangements reflect the core values and goals of Americaâs higher education.â
I assume coed dorm means that there are male and females housed anywhere in the same building. But there are degrees of âcoednessâ (okay I made that up). Living in the same building in separate floors, wings or even suites is coed but not to the degree that living within the same suite or in a traditional dorm style hall would be.
I am assuming that there are no situations where an actual room is shared between a male and female. (Has anyone ever run across that?)
A lot of people here are recommending suites for those who are uncomfortable with the co-ed bathrooms. Back when I was in college I lived in a suite. Two rooms connected by a bathroom. Four girls sharing one bathroom that had two doors. In order for it to be totally private, you would have had to lock both doors. In some rooms this was no problem but others complained that they should be allowed to enter to pee at one end while someone else showered at the other end with a set of sinks in between. Sounds kind of reasonable but not if you really wanted privacy. You never really knew who would be there when you finished your shower. Also, with four girls, one was bound to have a boyfriend spend the night who, of course, occasionally needed to use the bathroom. Since the only bathrooms in the whole dorm were in the suites, thatâs where he went. I felt much more comfortable in the dorms where the rooms were co-ed, but by room and there were two large bathrooms. One for males and one for females.
Well @EllieMom â That was very enlightening! My Sâs schools is on the list!
I guess most school tours donât bother to mention this little tidbit of informationâŠ
http://www.middlebury.edu/student-life/community-living/residential-life/residential-living/allgender
my son shared a suite with 3 girls and two guys junior year
@mom23g8kids :
Dorms, being Co ed or single sex, can be safe or dangerous. The danger or safety doesnât depend on the coed situation but rather on the state of inebriation commonly found at the college/that the individual students choose to engage in.
(check-in for weekend activities offered for free on campus would be important.)
Predators do exist on campus but bathrooms arenât their hunting ground.
Theyâll seek out drunk freshmen. Perhaps walk them back. Perhaps be invited in.
Sexual assault doesnât happen because a boy comes in to o brush his teeth or shower, glances at the silhouette of a naked girl through the curtain, he canât constrain himself and jumps into the shower to rape her. Thatâs a nightmare scenario that just doesnât happen. Coed dorms or co ed bathrooms arenât unsafe - if a link existed between coed bathrooms or co ed dorms and sexual assault you bet lawsuits would be all over it.
Obviously I donât know all occurrences of campus rapes, but the typical setting involves alcohol and two vaguely acquainted people in a dorm room.
If you want some truly sobering information about campus assaults, try to find the documentary âthe hunting groundâ.
Substance-free dorms are likely safer than other dorms, as are women 's colleges.
(bonus : substance free dorms tend to be nicer, because the administration knows itâs highly unlikely itâll get trashed by drunk kids.)
The issue isnât really single sex vs coed, but privacy, right?
It seems your daughter would be better served in these settings :
- suites with a bathroom shared among suite mates.
- coed or single sex dorms where the bathrooms have shower stalls with doors, not just curtains.
You may need to email admissions or hunt on the collegesâ website. In tours, youâll be the annoying mom who asks about bathrooms but so be it. Thereâs always one, itâll be you, who cares?