It seems unlikely to me that older coed dorms with single sex floors would be moving to coed floors and bathrooms. The dorm is already coed, there would be no urinals in the women’s bathrooms, and this is an expensive renovation. Moreover, if the men’s room is just one floor away, I think the guys who might be hanging around the floor would be more likely to use it. If I were the OP, I would look for this type of housing, or for suites with their own baths.
Yes, I also know of mixed gender college suites. I assume this is common nowadays at schools with suite housing.
D2 was living in a coed Honors dorm as a freshman when a young man tried to force his way into her room in the middle of the night. She was really upset about it, as it brought back bad memories of an earlier trauma in her life. To me, it sounded as though the guy was really drunk and just got her room confused with his own. In his stupor, he believed someone else was in his room. That argument just didn’t fly with her. She has always been a homebody, with the sense that her private space is a sanctuary. Now she felt unsafe in her own home. An opening came up in one of the women only dorms, and she immediately switched. I know for a fact she would not want to shower in any kind of coed bathroom that involved flimsy shower curtains or lack of privacy in any way. And there is nothing wrong with that. I’m glad she had the option to move to a dorm that met her particular needs. Some of the descriptions of bathroom arrangements in coed dorms sound fine. But a few described in this thread would be a complete no go for her.
As many have pointed out here, there are other considerations than just the dorms or the bathrooms. And there are always off campus housing solutions. But what I have learned, and did not know before this thread, is that many colleges require that freshman live on campus and then they do not get their choice of the premium suites because those are reserved for the older students. It is a bit of a catch 22…
The tricks to know the conditions for the suites or the 'better’dorms with shower stalls with doors.
Sometimes, all honors students will have this set up, freshmen included. I believe that’s the case at UAlabama, Temple, Rutgers, Asu Barrett, Purdue.
At Massachusetts Commonwealth Honors, it’s luck of the draw.
Sometimes it’s for upperclass students only.
Sometimes, it’ll be the set up for some llc 's or substance free housing, and it changes each year so you need to check Fall N-1 (where N = start of freshman year.)
You may also want to look for colleges with honor codes (Haverford is big on that.)
Freshmen are typically required to live on campus because it helps them get integrated into higher education, get better grades, and get involved on campus (the co-curricular and extra curricular activities 's role in educating students isn’t to be dismissed - they may also be quite important for their career.)
“It’s my understanding that with schools that require freshmen to live on campus that freshman are given priority in housing.”
Well, if you mean priority in that they are assured getting housing, yes. But priority in picking what housing they want? Definitely not in most cases. Freshmen dorms are often the worst on campus. At many schools, freshmen live in dorms specifically set aside for freshman housing.
@runswimyoga
Post #233
Yep, I have now seen and heard how MANY people are extremely happy with the coed environment. I get it, I really do. Turns out it is very very popular. We also learned that 90% of on campus living is now coed. Amazing to me, but OK, it is what people really want and will vehemently defend.
I have also heard that if you want something different you need to isolate yourself either by going to an all girl school, a very religious school or live off campus.
And I have learned that drinking is a HUGE problem on college campuses. Much worse than I had thought.
And it also appears to be quite normal for people to not only be involved in sexual relationships but for the expectation to be that a ‘boyfriend’ will sleep over and be hanging around the dorm, suite or whatever.
What I haven’t learned yet is what about the other kids? What about the ones that are not religious or interested in being segregated by single sex schools? The ones who don’t drink, smoke, use drugs? The ones who don’t want to have boyfriends or girlfriends of their dorm/suite mates sleeping over? I hear that there are dorms for substance free students, but what about “boyfriend” free suites? Are these kids just so very rare that they are not worth making space for?
Priority means they will get housing…it doesn’t mean they get the housing they want. At my kids’ colleges they set aside rooms in the spring for the freshman before the other students get to choose rooms. The freshman are then assigned a dorm (no choice) among those rooms set aside.
@MYOS1634
“Freshmen are typically required to live on campus because it helps them get integrated into higher education, get better grades, and get involved on campus (the co-curricular and extra curricular activities 's role in educating students isn’t to be dismissed - they may also be quite important for their career.)”
Yes, this is something I totally agree with and want for my daughter! But after all that I have learned on this thread I am wondering if I should have titles my post “Living on campus, not on my watch”.
As both of my posts show, that’s not true at all. Every university in my state that I looked into had at least one single sex dorm, and several single sex private dorms VERY close to campus. I am thinking that my state cannot be the only one with these options.
“I have also heard that if you want something different you need to isolate yourself either by going to an all girl school, a very religious school or live off campus.”
I don’t think anyone is saying this. I think posters have commented that most schools do have some form of all female dorm or all female floors. Posters have also pointed out some schools (often in the south) where it is common to have single gender housing or in other regions (St. Olaf as one poster pointed out).
"And I have learned that drinking is a HUGE problem on college campuses. Much worse than I had thought.
And it also appears to be quite normal for people to not only be involved in sexual relationships but for the expectation to be that a ‘boyfriend’ will sleep over and be hanging around the dorm, suite or whatever."
Drinking and boyfriends sleeping over is nothing new. It certainly happened in my generation and at my college 35 years ago.
“Yes, this is something I totally agree with and want for my daughter! But after all that I have learned on this thread I am wondering if I should have titles my post “Living on campus, not on my watch”.”
I don’t get this. Do you not trust your daughter, @mom23g8kids? Why care what other students do? You taught her your values for 18 years. She’ll keep them or she won’t. Protecting her from a typical college experience won’t change that. Your daughter won’t be the only one not partying if she chooses not to. She just needs to find like minded friends. There are plenty out there.
@Nrdsb4
Thanks so much for telling this story! My daughter is the same way. She is very much into her space being her down time. And it is how she regroups/relaxes for all the outside world time. And if this space is not private, respected and safe then she will not do well living in that environment. I am glad to hear that your daughter was able to find a dorm that worked.
I’ve never liked that arrangement where the bathroom is between two sets of suites or doubles and you can lock the doors from the inside. What if you forget to unlock the side that is not yours? I’ve also heard many more complaints about people not keeping them clean and supplied with toilet paper. At least with the hall baths the custodians generally take care of that.
Another option is to look for schools where she can get a single if she likes her down time and doesn’t want to worry about a roommate’s drinking or boyfriend.
Priority in housing just means you will get a room. Of some kind. In college-owned or managed housing. No guarantee at all of getting your preference, though.
This all strikes me as a red herring – a minor detail to focus in on when there are much more important criteria to focus on for a college search. Stuff like academic offerings and reputation in the student’s areas of interest, affordability, location, ECs available, where the student fits in academically compared to current students, size of college, career office quality, grad school placement… this item seems easy to look at, but likely pretty inconsequential in the big picture of 4 years of college.
This is where picking a roommate with similar values comes into play. This may be harder as a freshman, though many schools have forms to fill out where you describe things that are important to you such as those you mentioned and others (like how loud do you like your music). Some schools do better than others in making a match. But in subsequent years, your D will have control over who she picks to room with. So she should look for like-minded people.
Edited to add: Your D might also be encouraged to go over a “roommate agreement” to cover these things with her new roommate(s).
“Many, perhaps, but not all…My kids’ colleges the freshman are spread throughout all the dorms. All class years live together.”
^Yes, that’s true at some colleges but they are not getting the pick of rooms or even dorms for that matter. If so, I think it is the rare college where that happens. At the majority of colleges, seniority plays a big role in housing choice and if a freshman gets placed in good housing, its out of luck not choice.
OP, my D doesn’t party, do drugs, drink, or have plans to sleep with a boyfriend until at least engagement. She’s quite a bit straighter-edged than her parents. She’s been at college for a month and has been asked out, invited to drink, asked to parties, though drugs have not come up yet (she WAS offered pot in HS). She’s turned all of this down and NO ONE has harassed her, teased her, or bullied her. The other students respect her for who she is, and she is secure in her positions on these matters. While I am under no illusions that she will always and everywhere do the right thing, kids who don’t want to drink, do drugs and have sex…don’t. And real friends respect that.
