Research, research, research. Not wanting co-ed bathrooms, floors or buildings is a valid search parameter, just as is wanting air conditioning, a kitchen, or a single. The key here is to determine how important it is. Is it the #1 or #50 parameter and go from there. I’d imagine for most people it wouldn’t be super high on the list, but if it is, you need to do thorough research at each school you’re thinking about before applying. Check out the website, or better yet, call the school’s housing office. The reason I recommend calling, is they will also have an idea of how popular said option is which can avoid disappointment later.
There will often be a roommate questionnaire to ensure roommate compatibility. Or kids seek each other out on the facebook page for newly admitted students. And there may be a roommate agreement on top of that. Finally, the room belongs to two people. She has to make clear her preferences and absolute no no 's. Improving communication skills is a huge part of becoming an adult.
Look for the 'bad roommate 'series by Cal state Chico acting students, on YouTube. Share it with her. 
While it’s true many college freshman get the worse housing, honors students, freshmaen included, often get top of the line housing.
Some colleges with really nice housing include Sonoma State, Lincoln Memorial TN, Loyola Maryland, Boston University… I don’t know if it’s available for freshmen but you can check.
Also, the dorms with showers in stalls with a door… May not be suites and may not be reserved for upper class students. So they may be easier to find (and better in my view than bathrooms that only have little curtains! Even if the wing or dorm is nominally single sex! )
@liska21 : since StOlaf was cited earlier and your child is a student there, can you ask her whether the showers have stalls with doors or just a curtain - in her freshman dorm and in her friends '?
At my D’s school, no overnight guests are allowed for the first 2 weeks, and at that point they are required to sign a roommate agreement so they have a framework for guests.
Yes, seniority plays a huge role in getting the room you want at I’m sure any college.
But at their colleges a freshman can be just as likely to get into the new fancy dorm building as they are the old dorm building since they spread them to all dorms on campus. What they won’t get is a single or any choice as to which dorm they are placed.
“While I am under no illusions that she will always and everywhere do the right thing, kids who don’t want to drink, do drugs and have sex…don’t. And real friends respect that.”
Yes, this. And let’s take it a step further. Your daughter needs to respect those who make different choices. My kids party (within some kind of reason but yes, I’m sure they’ve been drunk/high at some stage of their college life), they are not virgins (oh my! 
), have been known to skinny dip in clean bodies of water they come across. They are also really curious and fun people with many interests and talents, involved on campus, and bright. It would be a shame not to get to know them or to judge them and their kindred spirits. Lack of judgement works both ways.
I do have limited experience because I’ve only seriously looked into a few schools. UTD dorms are really nice! coed by room, each room has three private bedrooms that share a bathroom and living room area. At OU most freshmen live in the towers with suits two double share a bathroom and halls are divided by sex. OU honors dorm has communal bathrooms but they are single sex. I’m pretty sure the sports dorm is suits too. They are building new upper class dorms at OU and those rooms will have their own bathrooms. Because the dorms with communal baths are cheaper I think people generally end up where they want to be. Again I know this is very limited experience but just wanted to share.
“There will often be a roommate questionnaire to ensure roommate compatibility. Or kids seek each other out on the facebook page for newly admitted students”
This. And D met her roommate through the school’s GroupMe chat. They decided to room together after conversations in the group made it clear that they shared similar values, and they’ve gotten along so well that they’re already planning spring break together at a relative of the other girl’s (i.e. chaperoned to a point). I’m wondring if OP would really be only happy if her D lived at home and commuted, even the “safest”, strictest schools have SOME kids who drink, party and have sex. But there is always a danger of sexual assault, sadly, even in one’s own home, so even that’s no guarantee.
The important thing to note is every school is different. When I was a student I worked for housing and it was shocking how many people called after the fact in disbelief at how we did things that was different to where they went to school or their other kid went to school. And in many cases it was too late to do anything. If these students/parents had called early in the process, they likely would have been in a better position to get the place they wanted, or to know how to choose.
Never assume, always read the brochures and call the school. They would much rather hear from you well in advance so that they can give you the best advice on what is available, when you should apply and any other quirks about their process.
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Yes, I was thinking I was fine with single sex floors when I started the thread…
But oh the things I have learned in the last couple of days.
@intparent
I agree that there are a myriad of important factors to consider for college. But if the students can’t get sleep, or are so uncomfortable with their living situation that it impacts their studies then how useful is it to have a great math department or a beautiful campus?
@sseamom
Sure, that is a good point. Kids will find other like minded kids and those friends will support their choices. But if they are surrounded by loud, high, lack of personal boundaries dodo birds then how conducive to studying is the environment? Bullied or not, if a kid or their parents is spending $70k a year to get an education then shouldn’t that be the number one priority? I am honestly starting to feel very confused and befuddled by what I am perceiving as an excusing of an environment that is not really about learning anything…
This was years ago, but in my junior year of college, I lived in a big shared mixed gender room of 8. We all shared a big/huge bed one semester as an experiment in social living. LOL. Nothing, nothing sexual happened that I recall and there were no couples. This was in a theme house devoted to experimental living. I’m positive these still exist. And no, this was NOT a ‘tree-huggng’ school but it was California…in the 80s… But we thought we were the conservative experimental living house, because the other one had weekly nude bread-baking/social gathering nights. Honestly, I’m not making this up.
@liska21 OMG! that post made me spit my coffee on my keyboard 
While I would have been appalled by that when I was 17 - thinking about it now sort of makes me wish I could go back to college now.
" I am honestly starting to feel very confused and befuddled by what I am perceiving as an excusing of an environment that is not really about learning anything…"
I think you are engaging in hyperbole now. I could never juggle it well personally but the smartest people I know are “work hard, play hard” types. Plenty of studying and learning goes on if you choose the right schools. Look for schools that are academically rigorous and attract intellectual types. Many of them still have fun and let go a little, however. College isn’t a convent.
I think maybe investigating a single might be a good idea for your D.
So wait… I’m confused. Does the D not want a coed dorm because she wants “down time” or because she’s afraid of being sexually assaulted? Because both of these things can and do happen in both single-sex and coed dorms.
My U had blind roommate matching. No preferences even. My freshmen roommates was a party girl, sorority girl. She came back wasted all the time. I barely drank (at least my freshmen year). It was still fine.
“I am honestly starting to feel very confused and befuddled by what I am perceiving as an excusing of an environment that is not really about learning anything…”
OP, I’m afraid you really lost me here. At least half of the really valuable things I learned freshman year of college occurred outside the classroom. Like getting along with–and actually enjoying–people who were quite different from me.
@stlarenas This was in the university’s on campus theme houses. Not like an off-campus house or anything like that. I am really looking forward to touring my alma mater and seeing what the tour guides say when they pass these theme houses. Ha!
" I am honestly starting to feel very confused and befuddled by what I am perceiving as an excusing of an environment that is not really about learning anything…"
The idea that if a boyfriend and girlfriend (or other combos for that matter) sleep together that it means that no learning is happening is frankly silly. 35 years ago I did occasionally (often) co-sleep with my college boyfriend. And I studied, a lot. Graduated top of my engineering class and got a PhD at Stanford. He graduated with High Honors in History and is now a professor at a top research university. So kids who “party” on a Saturday night are not all losers who are wasting their parents’ money. Let your daughter find a roomie with similar values to avoid the boyfriend sleeping over thing (honestly good roommates don’t infringe on the roomies in any case as a matter of manners).
Nobody really wants a boyfriend/girlfriend free environment. They may THINK they do, but then one day, they meet somebody they really like, and a little while after that, they start spending lots of time with this person, and a little while after that, it turns into a relationship, and they have a significant other hanging around the dorm a lot, and eventually they find themselves asking their roommate to vanish at predetermined times, several times a week.
This can happen to the nerdiest kids. Nerds have hormones, too. Just like everybody else, they’re hardwired to find partners and fall in love.
What college students REALLY want, although they don’t realize it at first, is to have a roommate whose relationship status matches their own. If both you and your roommate have significant others, neither of you is likely to object to making yourself scarce on occasion so that your roommate and your roommate’s significant other can have some privacy. It’s something you both need, so you accommodate each other. But if only one of you has a significant other, the one who doesn’t is likely to feel imposed upon.
Unfortunately, the housing people can’t match roommates based on their likelihood of getting into a relationship during the coming school year. Too bad.