I was going to suggest looking into schools where freshmen can live with other like-minded students in a specific dorm, floor or house. There are sometimes substance free floors, or ones that traditionally are filled with students less inclined to be rowdy or partiers. Also D2 did a little homework before she filled out her dorm assignment form and knew which dorms were known more as party dorms and which had all freshmen versus a mix (the latter are often calmer than those with all freshmen, coed or not). Of course, knowing which was was and getting into the dorm she wanted were two different things - she asked for a largish coed dorm and got a very small all female dorm, but is very happy nonetheless. No rules about who can and canât be in the dorm and I know she and her roommate are having no problems meeting guysâŠ
Iâm not sure she can really get away from having men in the dorms at all hours, whether she chooses an all women dorm or a coed dorm. I found that the boys that we hung out in the dorm with were friends and there was no sexual tension or pressure to look a certain way at all times - they were like brothers or buddie. There were generally not bf/gf relationships among those groups. She may also feel differently about this once she gets to college, than she does now. But even in an all female dorm or even an all female school she could end up with a roommate that has (or gets) a boyfriend who is in the room a lot. You both may have to really work through your concerns and see how strong a âmustâ this is in picking a college. It may restrict her list quite a bit.
Does she have guy friends in high school?
Anything on CC parents gets strong reactions and it is not clear that posters realize how aggressive or negative they may sound. But I think your title - Not on my watch - made it seem like this was more your issues than your kidâs.
"Yes, that was my experience too. I would close my dorm room and then it would be knocked on constantly and often there were boys coming in and out even when I was trying to study. "
Iâd strongly suggest that you encourage your daughter to use the library for studying, not her room. One of my kids follows this approach. Dorm rooms are for relaxing, sleeping, hanging out with friends, socializing. Libraries are for studying. If one has roommates, different schedules and the crowdedness can make it hard to study in your room anyway.
After youâve been here a while you learn that a lot of people post something for their first post and then you never hear from them again, leaving behind a wake of people who find they wasted their time trying to help. Iâve been advocating for a ten post minimum before newbies are allowed to create their own threads, but Iâm not holding my breath for that.
The fact that the OP came back-Iâm surprised, yet gratified.
My roommate for all 4 years (technically my first year I was assigned to a different room but by about second semester I was living in her room) would constantly be in the room and no one knew. People would knock and sheâd ignore it until she was ready to have company.
Just because someone knocks on your door, it doesnât mean you must answer.
@mom23g8kids, the more I read of your replies, the more I think a womenâs college would be ideal for your daughter. She can still meet guysâthey come on campus for parties and most womenâs colleges have a reciprocal arrangement that allows men to take classes thereâbut at the end of the day, sheâll go home to her own dorm.
Schools to look at are Mount Holyoke (test optional, if that matters, and great merit scholarships), Wellesley (no merit money, though meets demonstrated financial need), Scripps (great climate, and some merit aid), Bryn Mawr (merit $$). All of these schools are either part of a consortium, or they have arrangements with coed schools that allow cross-registration. Your daughter wonât be in a convent, I promise, but you will have peace of mind!
Iâm quite sure you will find a living arrangement that will work for both your daughter, and you.
Check each college housing section of the websites carefully, and make a phone call if needed. At some colleges, suites are not available to freshmanâŠat all. So check that this option actually is one where your daughter will be applying to college.
And like I said earlierâŠyour daughter will very likely have to list several choices on her housing application and there is no guarantee she will get choice number one (neither of my kids got their firstâŠor second choice dorms their freshman year.
Why have dorms become coed? Thatâs like asking why women no longer have to wear dresses to classes. Because times have changed.
Coed dorms/bathrooms solve the issue of changing acceptance of defining gender as something more than just binary and sexuality as something more than just hetero. Itâs also one reason why many colleges offer the option for coed dorm rooms as well.
My kids have been hit on by both genders so segregating yourself to one gender in living arrangements doesnât preclude that from happening. Itâs never happened in a bathroom, though. 
I am actually a Freshman and my dorm has co-ed floors but we have one bathroom for each gender during the day, but we voted as a group to make the bathrooms gender neutral from 12am-6am so people donât have to walk that far at night to get to their gender âcorrectâ bathroom.
I think @Massmomm is probably right. But even that wonât solve the problem of kids knocking on the door at all hours-that has nothing at all to do with gender. My D is in a same sex dorm where no boys are allowed past the lobby. Every single time sheâs called me-no matter what time-people are knocking on her door. Granted, she is very social and friends with many of the girls, but I donât see how a same- sex dorm is any better than coed for quiet. She studies in the library.
I donât think itâs prudish for women to not want to share bathrooms with guys even if they get cleaned everyday. YukâŠas someone who lives with guys now 24/7 for decades I feel comfortable talking about men and bathrooms. Didnât take me long in college to discover how nice it is to live with all women in that regard so when the opportunity presented itself I continued on for all 4 years. Iâm far, far from prudish. Canât tell you why my guys didnât want bathrooms down the hall but I imagine it was a convenience thing of not having to leave their rooms to use the bathroom or cart their shower and shaving stuff every day.
Co-ed by floors or co-ed by suites makes the most sense to me for the OP from a convenience standpoint if you find yourself somewhere where there isnât single sex housing for freshman year.
Eh, I think women can be pigs in bathrooms! My pet peeve is women washing their hands and leaving water all over the front of the sink so when the next person leans up against the sink, they become wet. I have been known to take paper towels, wipe this all down, and sigh loudly, lol.
Are new configurations being built to give more privacy? And speaking of which Iâve always wanted to ask this question. Letâs say you are in a Starbucks or similar casual place. There are 2 single stall bathrooms, one marked women and one marked men. There is a line for the womenâs. Do you just say âscrew itâ and head for the menâs? Again these are the single person occupancy type.
âDo you just say âscrew itâ and head for the menâs?â
It happens.
I think the stereotype of guys being messier in bathrooms doesnât often hold up IMO. Iâve seen plenty of dorms and dorm rooms between my own time in boarding school and college and my kidsâ. Between make up and hair, females create quite a mess. Women shave and âdribbleâ, too. Many females are quite piggy with their lack of neatness and many guys arenât.
The men in my family are neat and courteous in the bathroom. They were raised to be that way. 
@Pizzagirl Yes, I have before. Starbucks, specifically though, is good about everything being gender free.
My IL SBX seem to have women designated and men designated, but Iâve seen one in IN where there were just 2 bathrooms and neutral signage. I wonder if they intend to change it all state by state?
I have no idea if the OP is concerned about dirty bathrooms. I thought the issue was comfort and privacy. But yes, women can be just as gross. My daughterâs dorm has a sign in the bathroom reminding everyone to clear the drain of their own hair after washing it. Itâs gross that people donât automatically do this.
Do not expect there to be no men at the dorms at womenâs colleges. On the tour at Smith, the tour guide told us that there are a lot of men living in the âdormsâ (they are a combination of dorms and houses), that they are around all the time, and that there are no âmensâ bathrooms in most of the houses and many fewer in the other buildings than you would find at a co-ed college. They are, therefore, using the only bathrooms available. There was a lovely sign in the bathroom of the dorm we toured that said something like âSex in the shower with either sex is uncomfortable for all. Be Considerate.â Just what a parent likes to see on a tour (Lalala, we donât want to know). It was NOT a bathroom set up for privacy, with just a few toilet stalls, showers with only a curtain, and sinks, all in the same area.
Iâve gone to one of my older sonâs female restrooms when weâve visited him. âCleanâ is not an adjective that comes to mind. I now only use them when I really have to. Iâd rather go in a restaurant somewhere.
Iâve also been to my youngest sonâs co-ed restrooms. As I mentioned before, everything (toilet, sink & shower/changing room) is all enclosed in one room that one locks behind them to show that it is occupied. As with any other public restroom, I could look at my options and choose the cleanest. Usually there are 2 or 3 (of 4) that are quite acceptable.
My son went to a college where they donât clean the bathrooms or empty the trash on the weekends in the dorms.
Iâll leave the details to your imagination.
Yes, not long ago, I was in a large all-female dorm at different college that is co-ed, hallway style with large bathrooms. I think the showers just had curtains, not locking doors. And there were multiple signs in the bathroom posted discouraging sex in the showers. This was a big building and there was no male bathroom except I think on the ground floor, so Iâm guessing the visiting/live in males used the ostensibly womenâs bathroom. Iâm thinking there would actually be more privacy in a co-ed situation.
I think many of us reading this thread think the OP has an unrealistic idea of how different it would be in a single sex dorm and feel that this requirement could unnecessarily rule out otherwise good options.