<p>My D and her 3 friends got an apartment for next year with a lease that started April 1. We had a similar issue with all sets of parents co-signing and being responsible for the lease. There are already a couple of issues. One of the roommates may be staying in the apartment over the summer. Do they all need to share the electric bill? One of the roommates may be taking a half year abroad starting in the Fall. Is she responsible for the rent or for finding someone to unofficially sublet? I am also a bit concerned about the lease date and what they will do when the lease ends 6 weeks before the school year.</p>
<p>As parents, we are staying out of these issues. These are for the roommates to resolve. We are not offering advice on the food situation. The roommates have decided to do food separately. I am sure there will be plenty of issues regarding the food and cleaning the kitchen. We are not getting involved with those issues either. </p>
<p>Right now moving and furniture are issues. None have cars so buying and moving furniture are issues. They also will need to move by borrowing a dolly from school and moving across cobblestones for a couple of blocks. I think each of them has a dorm frig and my D has a desktop computer. We have decided not to get involved, although I am sure we will need to drive down sometime in the summer to help out.</p>
<p>Fortunately, the 4 get along really well. I suspect a year of apartment sharing may strain those relationships. They certainly don't need parents getting in the middle. Right now I am just happy they found a good place, very close to school and at a reasonable cost.</p>
<p>My S has lived in the same apartment for the past 3 years with anywhere between 5 & 7 roommates. In the beginning he agreed to be responsible for collecting and paying the rent and another of the roommates took care of the utilities. What has he learned? That he will never live with that many people again. I can't tell you how many months he has covered the rent while waiting endlessly for roommates to repay him. Nothing malicious, just kid stuff. The landlord only wanted one check, so they couldn't send 7 checks each month. And they have dealt with numerous summer sublettors, and were each responsible for subletting their own rooms when studying abroad or over the summer. Each original rentor signed the lease, and if the roommates changed, the lease was amended (not for summer). Clearly it would have been easier if the landlord would have accepted multiple checks. The upside: he has lived in the same apartment, with basically the same guys for the past 3 years and its been wonderful. The downside:he's lived in the same apartment with the same guys for the past 3 years!!!! They've worked it all out and he has learned some valuable lessons about being both a lessee and landlord, of sorts. He's recently told us that they will be having a joint post-graduation bbg lunch in the backyard of their building so the families can all be together. In the end, I think the upside outweighed the downside, though he's looking forward to a living situation with a few less roommates. Now if he could only get a job so we would know where that apartment may be!</p>
<p>Adding just a bit of data, stimulated by reading the above posters.</p>
<ol>
<li><p>KEEPING REPUTATION: My NYC son (with the 2 roommates who come and go separately on all items) found that one is chronically late with rent. He began to feel that her flakiness would hurt him for his next apartment rental when he needs a good recommendation for "paying on time" to the next landlord. He handled it by phoning his current landlord to apologize for the roommate, say how he'd been trying to lean on her, and remind him that his (SEPARATE) checks always were mailed in on time. This clearing of his good name would be impossible under a joint checking account, unless of course you have sugar-daddy living there fronting the money for all, then leaning on roommates to collect from them after the check had been sent on time, as one poster above described. OTOH, perhaps the joint account (which I'd never permit...) would cause the kids to lean on each other on time, so that's an argument against separately mailed checks. </p></li>
<li><p>FRIENDSHIP HELPS: Post #22 above is the first one that alluded to any real friendship among the roommates. I still maintain that a lot of problems can be addressed this way, since nobody can predict all the pitfalls. It's not the solution, I'm not naiive, but I think parents should at least encourage good friendship and communication as mightily as we encourage fiscal caution in our kids.</p></li>
<li><p>BOYS EAT: Any food arrangement, especially with girls, should factor in that the boys visit. My parents, college profs who rented upstairs bedrooms to students for 20 years, said that "the boys are better tenants because they disappear to live with their girlfriends. But if I rent to girls, I end up having their boyfriends as de-facto tenants, using all the utilities too (of concern since she charged one flat rate including all utilities), so: showers, laundry, more electric...
Extrapolating my Mom's observation to your situation, OP, re food: If the girls have frequent male guests who pack away big meals, that's an irritant on their food budget plan. Better for the girls to discuss in advance, to make a "policy" on how they'll deal with it (charge per meal; one free meal per week; whatever; expectation of a full bag of groceries per week from football playing boyfriends put down cheerfully on the counter...)</p></li>
</ol>
<p>This whole thread is making me nervous. My son just got a house in Berkeley for next year with 5 other guys. All 6 parents had to co-sign. I have asked my kid a million questions..what is the house like, what kind of neighborhood is it in (there are some not-so-nice areas of Berkeley which he seems oblivious to), do they have to pay utilities, how are they going to deal with money, food etc, do the other guys realize what a slob he is....none of which he could answer, He thinks I worry about "little things" too much.</p>
<p>What great suggestions and comments. Thank you. It confirms my feeling. But I have to say, sometimes I start to question my own sanity when I am constantly the one at odds with everyone else. </p>
<p>Some of the suggestions above are very good, but too late for us. All was signed in january, and money handed over. We are still trying to get an actual copy of the lease.</p>
<p>I am tempted to send my daughter a link to this thread, just so she can read for herself about the experiences people have had. (though that would just add fuel to the fire.) Even though these girls are friends, there already have been conflicts, and i have little doubt that there will be issues down the road. And i don't picture them as types to sit down and tally who owes what. Hopefully, as some posters have suggested, the positive will outweigh the negative.</p>
<p>I am also concerned about the whole issue of "outfitting" this unfurnished apt. We live on the west coast, and so dd will not be able to keep any of these furnishings (which would cost more to move than they are worth). I am not looking forward to move-in day, when all the mothers are supposedly coming to "decorate". As a grad student, I ate my dinners off an empty fan box, sitting cross-legged on the floor. When the box started to sag, I flipped it over. Unfortunately, I think these kids may have something else in mind.</p>
<p>And, boys!! I never even thought of that. That is a REALLY good point. I certainly am not planning on feeding anybody else's kids. I will probably tell my d that there is one set amount I will give her per month, and let her figure this all out.</p>
<p>I've got these moms pictured, as do you. And you're far away, which is rough.
I'd suggest you have your D tell the others your mom isn't giving you any budget for decorating. They sound so excited and fluffy that I think they'll just buy all the common area furnishings they want for their girls. Your D can handle her own bedroom. I don't think anyone will begrudge her the right to sit on a couch or at the table the other 3 buy. Really. See if D can just smile and admire and enjoy everything they haul in there. This time, you guys win.</p>
<p>Adding: and she has the gracious excuse (it's true) of distance. She can't enjoy the furniture later; will never get to reuse it after this year, so THEY should own it. If that makes her feel like a cheapskate, and it might, well maybe you can offer to buy something that all can enjoy and consume immediately, such as a gift to stock the pantry with all the spices (costly), or hook-up charges for tv. Something your D will realize the use of during this year. THink of some housewarming big-gifts (not just flowers, but something structural to the apartment that your D can own, but it's not furniture either). Something you'd like to see your D have and enjoy..then gift it with a big smile, since she can't help decorate maybe she can help this other way.
Sounds like it's also time to engender some good-will on your D's behalf, since she has to represent the fiscally responsible voice here.</p>
<p>I know it's too late for mommeleh, but I have to put on my lawyer's hat and say, DO NOT co-sign a lease you've never read. You're on the hook for who knows what, and you cannot protect yourself. There are many unscrupulous landlords who rent to students and put outrageous demands in the leases (they are not the standard boilerplate leases). (I used to represent a municipality trying to close these landlords down.) You may be responsible for assuming the homeowner's insurance, the risk of someone falling down the stairs on icy mornings, zoning changes, etc.</p>
<p>You may think that it will ruin friendships if you put everything in writing in advance. But the opposite is true - nothing ruins friendships more quickly than Roommate A assuming something different than Roommate B, and having nothing but memory to rely on.</p>
<p>We handled the furnishings much the same as P3T describes. Basically, none from us. It's a one room effeciency. My kid ordered a single mattress from IKEA, which they delivered. He sleeps on it, on the floor. He bought a card table at Target, and a folding chair from Bed, Bath, and Beyond. That is his desk. That's all he has.</p>
<p>Roomie, meanwhile, has a full-size bed, complete with frame, springs, and mattress. Tons of bedding. Loads up the bed, then sleeps with the fan on. S - who (if you remember from another thread lost all his belongings via a storage company for a couple months) slept with a lightweight throw I mailed him, had to ask to have the fan point elsewhere!</p>
<p>Roommie's mom outfitted the kitchen, too. Complete set of dinnerware! My S has a mug and a plate and a bowl, which he washes by hand after each use. Roommie cleans the kitchen, S cleans the bathroom. (My kid is weird - he likes to clean bathrooms.)</p>
<p>Considering how different they are, they have gotten along well this year. Although they both have preferences, neither feels the need to force his preferences on the other.</p>
<p>Oh, Chedva, you are giving me palpitations. I must confess the degree of my stupidity: I was given the cosigner form. When i asked about the lease, i was told that would come later. So, I thought the cosigner form basically meant that IF I signed the lease, I promised to abide by the stipulations of the cosigner form. I actually thought I would see the lease and need to sign IT before it was a done deal. Instead, the girls met (in Boston) to sign the lease. It was never given to me to view, and, as of this date, the girls don't have a copy,either. Parents are all pushing for this now. We sound like a bunch of rubes. But, there is at least one lawyer and a doctor in the bunch. This is the problem with dealing with things from afar. Do you think that (if necessary) there would be legal recourse since we were cosigning a lease that we weren't permitted to view? </p>
<p>Two of the other roomies are not within driving distance, either. So, I am not sure I can make a very strong argument for ours being the exceptional case with regard to furniture purchases. And i really don't think I would like to be there when they all head off shopping.</p>
<p>Just a point to add wrt a situation similar to this one posted above
[quote]
In the beginning he agreed to be responsible for collecting and paying the rent and another of the roommates took care of the utilities.
[/quote]
My nephew shared a house (bought, not rented) with a friend. Arrangment was nephew pays mortgage; friend pays property taxes and utilities - roughly equal financial burdens. Fast forward to when - you guessed it - nephew gets notice that property taxes are in arrears over an extended period.</p>
<p>So... make sure that payment of all monies (rent, utilities) is transparent. Joint checking account has issues, I agree. Landlord doesn't want multiple checks? Is that hardened in concrete? If not, that's how I would do it (and how we did it back in the day with a college apartment). If not, I'd prefer to have one tenant write the check and collect from each roomie at the time of writing. Ditto wrt utilities that aren't included in the rent - another roomie can be responsible for them and collect. The key thing is for your D to check that each has in fact been paid. With online everything these days, that should be a simple click and view to make sure accounts are current.</p>
<p>I'd leave the food issues to her to live and learn. Your role, as others have said, is to set an allowance and stick to it. Ditto furnishing. My SIL bought brand new Crate and Barrel bedroom furnishings for her D's college apt. Better than what SIL and hubby own at home (rationale: "she'll have them forever." Maybe so). Doesn't mean you have to do the same for your D. Let her discover the joys of thrift-shop/shabby/flea market chic. It's "in." :D</p>
<p>BTW in my college apt. senior year, we shared food - planning, shopping, cooking. Kept receipts of who spent what (different people assigned shopping, cooking, cleaning each week) and settled up ala the poster above with a "receipts party" every so often. We had a blast, learned a ton. Great cooks all now, and it started with that apartment. It can work. We had the BF/guest situations to the max - it was all part of the fun and all figured in the "who owes what". If they are good friends, that part can be fine.</p>
<p>Doesn't mean you're not wise to give your D a heads up on what can happen. But no need to assume the worst, imo.</p>
<p>Each time my D moves it seems to cost us in some new furnishings she "has" to have. Just hope there isn't an IKEA nearby.
My D moved into an apartment that luckily was already partly furnished by the roommate. We did have to buy a bed. A cheap one from IKEA and a desk also from IKEA. It was all the misc. stuff that adds up. Shower curtain, rug, trash can. She found that the roommate must never eat at home since there was 1 fork and 1 spoon. We ended up going through some of our drawers and giving her a few things.
Have her also look into thrift stores. Also they should scavenge for stuff that other students in the area leave behind when they leave for the summer. I know that in Isla Vista the kids just pile the stuff at the curb. It is amazing what kids think of as disposible.
I remember with my first apt sewing big pillows that we used as chairs and couch. We pulled them up to the coffee table to eat.
I would have her ask the landlord about separate checks. If one person writes the check they are counting on all the other girls checks clearing the bank. I would not want my kid being the one who writes the big check and then has to hound the others for money.
I also have seen a few cases where the parents send the rent check directly to the landlord.
I have seen to many places that are a mess when the students move out. Many times the bathrooms look like they have never been cleaned. Or they don't realize the water leaking into the room might mean they should call the landlord. My D had an instance where a box she used as a table was wet on the bottom. She just wiped up the water. The next day one of the other roommates went into the bathroom and a pipe had broken. My D didn't use that bathroom so she didn't know. My husband was like Duh the floor is wet. Water must be coming from somewhere!
The last place my D lived they had monthly chores that they expected each person to do weekly. That worked pretty well. Otherwise no one ever wants to take out the trash.
Though in thinking about it we can give them suggestions but they are going to do what they want to do. What I hate is having to listen to her complain when something goes wrong.
We all have been in the place where the kids are pressuring that it needs to be done today, right that minute or else they will lose the place.</p>
<p>As far as the lease--one plus to the parent co-signing--and yes, it's been my experience most landlords want a co-signers if the student has no other real income source--my homeowners insurance co. told me that if I was on lease, my homeowners' policy covered my kids' belongings in a rental. Same for my personal liability policy.</p>
<p>We owned the condo my d. was in the last 3 years (just moved her to a different state this weekend) and we just billed her roommate the rent. The girls divided the utilities and one wrote the check and the other paid the check writer.</p>
<p>Food seems to work out better if each buys their own. My kids did this and then alternated paper products and cleaning supplies. Seemed to work out well. If they were entertaining--they did the shopping together and split the bill.</p>
<p>My d. is going to have to learn the landlord hassles now. She is used to just calling us and saying such and such isn't working right what do I do and we could tell her. Now she has to deal with a "real" landlord instead of mom and dad! I think I may feel sorry for him. We moved her in yesterday. When I called her last night at 10:30pm, she had called the landlord at 9pm with a long list of things that needed to be repaired--and knowing her--he will get reminded frequently!</p>
<p>My D furnished her apartment mostly with garage sale items that she didn't spend over $20 apiece for and it included some really nice stuff. Sharing a purchase doesn't really work since what happens when the roomies split? This fact seems oblivious to a college student. What works better is for an agreement that one kid will provide the dinette, another the couch, another a couple of chairs, they each do their own br furniture, etc. There's no good reason for a college student to spend much money on furniture - that's what they made garage sales, thrift stores, cardboard boxes, cinder block & boards, inflatable chairs, etc. for.</p>
<p>The roomies should just assume there'll be some conflict as time goes by. There'll be someone who'll never do their dishes and just leave them on the counter, who'll never vacuum, who'll be late with the rent, who'll have a BF/GF over excessively, who'll decide to leave for the summer or semester and not want to pay, etc.</p>
<p>Craigslist is a great way to get used furniture and other apartment "stuff". We had to cosign DS's lease and so did the other three roomies' parents. But each of us was only responsible for OUR kid's share of the bill. Also the rental company they used charged a whopping $25 fee. This particular rental company (in Boston) has a mixed reputation, but our kid found them to be absolutely fabulous...responded to "fix it" requests very quickly and did them well. When they moved in, they had to put a list of together of items that were less than perfect and indicate if anything needed to be done. They asked that a couple of rooms be painted and the floors be refinished. They NEVER expected the floors to get done, but the company did them. It was a bit of a hassle, but well worth it. Re: food...each kid bought their own food, except the group split staples and cleaning items.</p>
<p>OK so do we upset the OP further by saying that the next step is somebody wants to get a dog or cat? Hopefully that lease says "no."
One of our S's roommates is from a farm in Virginia, and guess what, now that she's in MANHATTAN she misses having animals. Although the 3 roommates come and go at all hours and nobody's ever home, she was about to get a dog. No, a doggie.
So we happened to be visiting and heard about this at dinner with my S. We adore dogs and never have been with less than 90 lbs. of dog at a time in our home, so we reminded him of how much care they require. Who'd be home to walk the dog, and did they really want this to rule their schedules? We talked him down to lobbying for a cat instead. The cat came in the next month and actually is a nice addition. But I can't believe sometimes how smart and educated these kids are, and then how they can't see around corners like this in something so obvious to an older adult. That's why they're called young adult.</p>
<p>Craigslist is fine but sometimes the furniture delivery is of issue if nobody has a car among the 4. So look for delivery in the deal, if it's college kids buying off of Craigslist. We're big fans of CL. Our kids also depend on Ebay because they can bid on things and pay for shipping to their doors as part of the auction. Or they use the "buy it now" button on some ebay auctions.
Usually we feel well-served with garage-sale type prices, but we've been doing it for years and know some pitfalls (always look at the feedback on the buyers which should be north of 95% positive or don;t deal with that buyer, etc.) You might find it irritating or too roller-coasterish for your lifestyle, and I don't want to introduce stress. But since we've been doing it for years, we got our kids into it.
The advantage of ebay when kids live far away is if they're considering bidding on something, they email us and we look over the deal, too, and give them an opinion if we think it's a good deal or not. There's usually 6 days between the time something's listed and the end of an auction. We use it for clothes, books, linens, light furnishings light end tables that can be shipped, and ... a car. That's why I drive a used Cadillac. But it's not for everybody!
I mention it b/c computer shopping helps me cope with bridging the miles between myself and the kids, and we're not shopaholics, just doing the basics. It occurs to me that parents also can look at pending purchases on the national chains online, too. Point is: computers are our friends with kids so far away. IF they want your opinion, you can proffer it before a purchase is made.</p>
<p>I had to co-sign for my S's apartment but so did the parents of the other boys. My S's apartment is set up so that each kid has a separate lease so if one bails out or is late with his payment, the others aren't left holding the bag. Also rent can be paid online and includes utilities, cable and internet service. It's a great way for students to start out living on their own.</p>
<p>The guys generally make a big trip to Sam's Club once every few weeks and buy a LOT of food and then split the bill between them (4 ways). </p>
<p>S got a great couch for the apartment from a Habitat for Humanity resale store. Goodwill stores have lots of great stuff for cheap too.</p>
<p>In the olden days when I went to college and moved quite a few times between various apartments I was almost always able to find a couch that someone was giving away or about to set next to the dumpster because they were moving or upgrading. I'd check it out and if was better than the one I had I'd swap mine for it. My old one would in turn usually be grabbed by someone else. I was always able to get a free couch. I also kept an old bedspread around as the couch cover so I wouldn't have to sit directly on it.</p>
<p>I think a bit of the scrounging and willing to use free to low cost furniture is character building and actually can come in handy later in life to make people realize they might not actually 'need' that thing that catches their eye.</p>
<p>All good suggestions. I am a fan of ebay and have used that to send my d books, movies, etc. That way I don't have to wrap it up and send it! I like the image of swapping couches on the street, ucsd ucla dad. The problem is that most of that stuff becomes available at the end of the school year, and the kids don't have access to the apt til sept, so they would have to pay for storage. They do plan to look at thrift stores, etc. I will make the recommendation that they get some nice fabric to drape over it. I like that idea.</p>
<p>When we were grad students, my husband built me a desk. Of course, it wobbled with the mere application of pencil to paper, but I still have that thing today. In the basement. With junk piled on top. I figure that, with laptops, even a tv table could serve as a desk today.</p>
<p>I'm also for scraping bottom to get every piece of furniture EXCEPT bedding, and maybe couches, today.</p>
<p>It could just be a NYC thing, but my S who's intrepid would only buy a second-hand bed with a pedigree, that is, from a known college friend living in the same city.</p>
<p>He told me the issue is BEDBUGS. Ick.</p>
<p>Another example where I've learned to leave my granola in my own breakfast bowl and listen to my kids.</p>