College Dilemma

College Search & Selection
1

<p>I am currently in a dilemma and want honest advice from people that will not be driven emotionally (like my parents).</p>

<p>Anyways, a little background info about myself...I am a very bright kid, although during high school I goofed off and this can be seen in my grades. Although in the contrary, my older sister, also very smart, was a little more driven throughout high school. She graduated with a 4.4 and is currently enrolled in the Penn State Schreyer (Honors) College. Unlike her, I did a lot of partying, experimenting with drugs, and making other stupid decisions. Eventually the law caught up to me...I am doing very well now outside of school, although still don't put much effort into my classes. I always show up to class, although rarely do I do homework and I often times goof off when given time in class for class work.</p>

<p>Starting my senior year, I had no idea what to do with my life, although I knew that I wanted to go to college. I have always loved learning, I just don't always want to put in the time to do so. But anyways, with no real direction of my life, and an approaching deadline on where to go to school, I causally agreed with my parents on Penn State. I live within 30 minutes of the campus and have grown up around it all my life. As time passed and I started to think about my decision, or lack of... I started to panic, feeling that this was not the right choice. I then called Penn State admissions and requested to be transferred to a Penn State branch campus, in order to get a ways from home. I was offered a 2,000 dollar scholarship, as well as an offer in to their Honors Club. I never expected to get a letter like this so I was elated at first. As my senior year dwindles down, I still feel I have not made the write choice.</p>

<p>My new "idea" is to move to California with a friend and stay with his family until we/I can get our/my feet on the ground. I understand that finding a job in Cali will be very difficult and supporting myself will be insanely strenuous, but this is what my heart tells me to do. If I follow through with this plan, I will work for a year, taking a year off school. I am committed to going to school whether it be in Cali or back home if things don't work out. Anyhow, after working for a year, I will file for residency, obviously following all the steps before hand. Then I plan to attend one of the more prestigious Community Colleges for two years and gain Gen. Ed. credits. I will also use this time to prove myself academically. I did not get horrible grades in high school, I just never did my homework. My last Physics test I aced (100%) being one of two students to do so. I do well on test and if I pay attention in class I pick up on things very easy. With that said I feel like I could do very well in a Community College. My dream school woud be UC Berkeley, although I understand the chances are very slim. I would confidently settle for UC Davis or Irvine as I want to study Engineering. </p>

<p>I know PSU is a GREEEAAATT engineering school, I just want to get away from it. My head tells me to stick it out for now and get away after college, but my heart tells me leave now. I also know that Cali schools tuition prices are rising and Cali has a soaring unemployment rate. I studied other aspects of Cali as well and understand that risk in moving there is very high, but I feel that I can succeed, I just don't know if it is worth it and that is why I am asking for everyones help.</p>

<p>I can predict what most of the answers will be.. although I disagree, it will help me feel more comfortable and satisfied with my choice, so just give me an honest answer and a brief reason as to why. </p>

<p>Much appreciated! </p>

<p>I did not check any of the spelling, so excuse me on any grammatical errors.</p>

2

<p>Well, if you attend a CC in cali, you can transfer into berkely with good grades (they don’t see HS grades if you transfer). Or maybe go to psu as undergrad and berkely as graduate since graduate school counts more than undergrad.</p>

<p>Why do you want to get a job before college? Is there any logical reasoning or is it because you want to work + party for a whole year? Is the friend you would move in with your boyfriend or just a friend?</p>

<p>If you want to transfer, I’m pretty sure you can just start going to a CC instead of working for a year then going to a CC.</p>

<p>Your parents aren’t always driven emotionally, and your sister is doing fine so don’t write off their opinions so quickly.</p>

<p>If I were a parent I would be extremely worried that when you take a “gap year” or w/e, you would just end up partying or something. To me it still looks like you lack the self motivation to be able to live in the conditions that you would be living in cali.</p>

<p>Why do you want to go to cali anyway? In your past 2 posts you didn’t even mention cali in any form which means that this is on a whim. If I lived in Pennsylvania, I would only move to cali to go to berkely with a lot of financial aid, I would not move to go to a community college or go to UCR/UCI. </p>

<p>What’s so bad about psu? If you live on campus you won’t see your parents anyway.</p>

<p>Btw, you wrote off your parent’s opinions because they’re “emotionally driven” but this whole essay is on doing what your heart is telling you to do.</p>

3

<p>FYI You realize that attending a California community college from out of state subjects you immediately to OOS tuition rates for a community college? Just because you move here doesn’t mean you’ll be instantly be considered a resident for schooling purposes. </p>

<p>You wanted honesty, so here goes.<br>
Do you have ANY idea what the average rents are here? Do you know what salary you would have to make in order to pay just your rent-even with a roommate? IF you can find a job, you will be paid minimum wage. Additionally, this state is run by highways, you need a car, everyone does. Our state’s gas prices are typically the highest in the nation (besides Hawaii). Good mass transit is a dream for us locals.<br>
Basically: it’s expensive to live here.</p>

4

<p>Dude I think you should go to Penn State, work hard there and then go to UCB for grad. The problem is that there are too many ifs involved. If I move there, if I get a job, if I study 2 years in cc,IF I get transferred to Berkeley. PSU is a good engineering school, and i you so well there(Esp in honors program), you can go wherever you want for grad. However, I guess it’s up to you.</p>

5

<p>My understanding is that PSU, unlike many other colleges, will not allow a deferral for gap year or hold scholarship money for a gap year. If you choose not to matriculate this fall you will have to reapply all over again. If you think you lack the focus to be a full time student now, it sounds much more realistic to go to CC in PA and work part time there.</p>

6

<p>I am a community college instructor who sees lots of students like you–bright, fun to have in class, but unmotivated when it comes to keeping up with daily work. From that perspective, I’m going to tell you that your instinct is right on. If you go to school in your current state of mind, odds are you will fail out. Your parents lose money, and you will lose confidence. If you were my kid, I would tell you to work until you were really ready for college. A few years at a crappy, minimum wage job will probably be enough to motivate you to move on to that next stage in life.</p>

<p>From my perspective, unless they are prepared and willing to pay for an extra year or three of college, it defies logic for parents to send kids who are unfocused and unready off to college, no matter how bright they are. Without the parent around to wake them up in the morning, remind them to do their homework, etc., it’s almost a guarantee that those kids will gravitate toward the partiers or the all-night video game/online gambling addicts. Sure OP might end up partying in California, but at least he won’t waste a year’s worth of tuition and room and board doing so. </p>

<p>So much of success in college depends on self-discipline and motivation. We’ve got a kid here with a propensity toward partying and drug use, who’s telling us that he lacks both of those qualities. What magical transformation is going to happen, especially at a party school like Penn State? While going to a CC in Pennsylvania would be a less expensive fail, it will still be a fail if he isn’t ready.</p>

<p>My advice? Go to California. Stay with relatives if they’ll have you and work a crummy job. Establish residency and when you are ready–and only when you are ready–go back to school.</p>

7

<p>Thanks to everyone that replied! I will try to give my rebuttal to most of your posts. </p>

<p>I think my immaturity and lack of motivation is a direct result of me being young for my grade. I will not turn 18 until July, and yes I know that signing leases will be very hard until I am 18. Anyways…</p>

<p>TheRealThing: BTW, I am a guy, and the boy friend who would partner me on this journey is simply just a friend. But, I would be taking a year off in order to claim residency for tuition purposes. During this year I would be working my butt off to gain an income and handle all the paperwork involved with claiming residency. My gap year would not be used for partying and goofing off. And yes you do make a very accurate point that I am also emotionally driven in this “idea”. What is a matter with Penn State…nothing, I just feel the need to get away and be independent. My parents make it very clear that I can do this while going to Penn State and it is a much more realistic way to do so, it is just not the idea I feel most passionately about. By moving to Cali I feel I will be able to find myself, something I never was able to do in high school. I have no self-identify in my life and no idea what I want to do…I am your cliche lost teenager. </p>

<p>aunt bea: The whole reason to take a year off would be to claim in-state tuition. I think it would be near impossible to do so while at CC but if it is plausible, I would probably go for it, although that would be a lot to juggle at once. A job, college, and becoming comfortable with a new area. I did not know that a car would be needed, i envisioned that I would be able to supply most of my transportation via bike. I do a ton of biking already so I have strong biker legs…</p>

<p>Nazgul9: Yes all the “ifs” are what scare me…Things would obviously have to fall in place and being the naive seventeen year old I am, I guess I am asking if my “ifs” sound more like dreams.</p>

<p>And all the opportunities I was given at Penn State, make it very hard to leave. I never thought I would be in any type of honors program…so if i did screw up the whole Cali thing I would defiantly be feeling a lot of remorse. </p>

<p>YaleGradandDad: Very true. CC in Pa does not sound that appetizing as I primarily want to go somewhere totally new and I guess start over. </p>

<p>classicalmama: Just out of curiosity, where do you teach? I do want to through out there that my first semester as a senior I had straight A’s. I committed hard to doing my homework to prove to myself that I am ready for college, because 9th, 10th, and 11th, I slacked. As the year winded down, I found myself becoming increasingly lazier. What you said is what I wanted to hear and what I have in mind. My parents feel that if I go to Penn State I will have a much easier time becoming focused and motivated. I do want to do well in college and that would be the premise for my motivation, I just feel like being at a place I am truly happy with would increase the chances of my success. </p>

<p>All of your words are much appreciated.</p>

8

<p>I teach at a residential two-year college in the Midwest–should have clarified that as that does make my school different from the typical CC–we attract lots of students from out of the area, and don’t have the typical motivated older students you’ll see at most CC’s. Because we have dorms, I have lots of experience with what happens to kids who come to college halfheartedly, because their parents want them to be there. As it happens, I’ve taught CC in Pennsylvania as well–the CC’s there are very good, but I can understand why that option wouldn’t appeal to you–it’s just not going to be that much different from high school. </p>

<p>I have sympathy for your parents wanting you to move on to Penn State–they know how smart you are and what you’re capable of achieving. But if your heart’s not there, it’s not there, and there’s nothing intrinsically motivating about a big university–it’s just as likely to appeal to your lazy side as your industrious one! There are lots and lots of attractive distractions and students who will be more than happy to go help you find them.</p>

<p>You’ve got lots of life ahead–taking a year off is not going to do anything to your future except give you the internal drive and desire you need to be a success at school. No remorse! There’s nothing wrong with your goals, and while there will doubtless be hurdles you’re not seeing yet, it’s just a different road with, I’m guessing, as many rewards in the end as the honor college path.</p>

9

<p>I’m not turning 18 until september when college starts :(. Is your friend doing the same thing you are or is he going to a cali college?</p>

10

<p>classicalmama: Thank you so much, I really want to go for it and if I get a solid plan I think I am going to. </p>

<p>TheReelThing: My friend is 18 right now, I am mainly waiting for him to decide what he wants to do. I think having a friend who is interested in the same idea would make it much easier. I don’t think it can’t be done all on my own, I just don’t think I am quite ready for that. I am waiting to hear what he decides to do. He is a wicked smart kid, 4.2 GPA, although he gets zero support or help from his family, so college anywhere is going to be difficult. Sometime this week we are going to sit down and investigate everything and see how plausible this is. We have another friend who is interested in doing it who would have a car, although his goals are much different. He is 19 and involved in construction. He loves it and eventually wants to open his own company. He has no aspirations of going to college, but plans to make a future out of construction. I think it will be much more challenging in Cali due to much higher percentages of Illegals there. I may be naive saying that, I just feel that is the type of work many of them do, and with that competition it would be much more difficult for him to advance his future.</p>

11

<p>You are probably right that you really aren’t ready for college.</p>

<p>But there are some serious logistical problems in your plan.</p>

<p>First and most important, you have a mistaken idea of what it takes to establish Calif. residency. It won’t be enough just to live and work in Calif. for a year. As long as you are under the age of 24, it will be very hard for you to qualify for resident tuition in Calif. This document (<a href=“UC Legal - Office of the General Counsel | UCOP”>UC Legal - Office of the General Counsel | UCOP) called “Ten Things Undergraduates Need to Know about California Residence for Purposes of Tuition and Fees,” prepared by the Office of the General Counsel for the University of California system, gives you a glimpse of the difficulties (but still not the whole picture).</p>

<p>I think it’s simplistic to blame your underperformance in school on being young for your grade. If school had mattered to you, you would have done well. School didn’t matter to you; why it didn’t matter is, IMO, completely beside the point. I suspect classicalmama is right that the most likely way to make school matter to you is for you to go try to support yourself with the kind of job you can get with a high school diploma. I can see a few possible outcomes from doing this. Most, but not all, of them are good. If you have a miserable time trying to eke out a living in menial jobs, you may become more interested in school as a path to a better life; that would be good. You could be one of those people who manage to find a way to a rewarding occupation, capable of sustaining you and a family, without college; that would also be good. Or, you could find the whole process so miserable that you give up and turn to crime, or live in a cardboard box or whatever. That, obviously, would be a bad outcome, but I don’t see how drifting aimlessly off to Penn State would lead you to an end that’s any better.</p>

<p>I don’t think it’s foolish at all for you to delay college, as long as you have a sensible, viable plan. I don’t see any real reason for you to go to California; you just want to go. You could go to California just because you want to, but don’t try to use the UC system as a justification for going. And you don’t currently have a viable plan for living in California beyond mooching off relatives.</p>

<p>It may well be the case that your parents are being emotional in this discussion, but you haven’t yet put forward a non-college plan that’s rational or viable. You still have a lot of researching, thinking and planning to do.</p>

12

<p>To me, it sounds like one of two options will work best for you.</p>

<p>1) You could go to California and begin work there. Your issue is a matter of maturing and becoming motivated. I don’t think you should go to California because it sounds like a fantastic idea that will make all your dreams come true, but because it will most likely be a lot worse than you thought it would be and that experience will help you mature. After some time working there and struggling to provide yourself you will hopefully be ready to go to college and actually put some effort in. Like you said, PSU is a great university. So after you find that California isn’t what you expected it to be, I’m sure you’ll come home and reapply there and have a fantastic undergrad experience.</p>

<p>2) You’re really going to hate this option, but you could stay home and work. It sounds to me like you want to go to California just to get as far away from your parents as possible. It doesn’t seem like you’re mature enough or motivated enough to provide for yourself, since you admitted yourself that your problem in school was laziness. I think you should stay home and get the experience of working full time with just a high school diploma. During this time you should also work out whatever issue you have with your parents and then when you’re ready, apply and go to whatever college you want to go to, whether it be PSU or UC Berkeley.</p>

13

<p>…or you could join the armed forces.</p>

14

<p>Sikorsky–great post.</p>

<p>Another option, if you’re not the military type, is to live at home, work at a grunt job for several months, save a bunch of money, and then travel around the U.S. or another country with your buddies. This might just satisfy that move to California wanderlust, help you figure out where you want to go to college, and give you that rational, viable plan you’re going to need to appease your parents.</p>

15

<p>Rossislim FYI from berkeley:
"In order to be classified as a resident for tuition purposes, you must fulfill ALL 3 requirements listed below:</p>

<p>Physical Presence: You must be physically present in California for more than one year (366 days) immediately prior to the residence determination date of the term for which classification as a resident is requested.</p>

<p>Intent: You must establish your intent to make California your home one year prior to the residence determination date of the term for which classification as a resident is requested.</p>

<p>** If you are physically present in California solely for educational purposes, you will not be eligible for resident classification regardless of the length of your stay in California.** The physical presence requirement (above) will be extended until you can demonstrate a concurrence of both physical presence and intent for one full year.</p>

<p>Financial Independence: If you will not reach age 24 by December 31 of the year in which classification as a resident is requested, and are not dependent upon a California resident parent (biological or legally adoptive only) for tuition purposes, you will be required to satisfy the University’s self-sufficiency requirement.</p>

<p>** It should be noted that this requirement makes it extremely difficult for most undergraduates who do not have a parent domiciled in California to qualify for classification as a resident at a University of California campus.**"</p>

<p>Re transportation: yes we have a number of bikers in California; come on, we are talking about health-conscious CALIFORNIA, but depending on the minimum wage jobs you will be competing for, some areas wont have access to bike paths and you will need a car. Most locales within San Diego-by car, with no traffic-20 minutes; by car with traffic 45 to 60 min commutes are average. BTW: UCSD is mostly hills, not exactly in La Jolla proper, but is hard to bike because of traffic and drivers who don’t see you. Berkeley is very hilly, as is Irvine whose campus is up a slope. Davis is an aggie school so it is flat and has 40K bikes on campus (dd attends there). UCLA is in the Westwood area, very urban, buses everywhere. UCSC is hilly; Riverside, UCSB and Merced are bikeable.</p>

<p>You need to know that most of the coastal communities are really expensive to live near. Inland communities may be less expensive-Sacramento, Fresno, Bakersfield, Riverside, Desert communities like-Indio, Borrego Springs.<br>
Go in with eyes wide open. Don’t waste your time assuming the California Dream.<br>
Plus, FWIW-the undocumented workers work the really hard manual jobs-farm field workers, child care, etc.</p>

16

<p>Sikorsky: Okay very good post. I do understand that claiming residence is hard and requires more than just living there…
I know you need tax returns, a california drivers license, permanent residence, and much more. Although it is a lot, I think it is very plausible to come up with everything if properly informed. Yes I don’t have a reason to go to Cali, I just want to. I have no argument against that, but I do know that I want to get pretty far away from home and Cali would be my dream…Also the part where you mentioned “mooching” of relatives, that aggravated me a good bit because I will not be mooching off anyone. I have no relatives in Cali, my friend does. And secondly, I would be getting zero help from my parents as they do not support me doing this. </p>

<p>And military is a horrible option for me…coast guard would be the closest I could get to the military. I am a very, very, very peaceful person. Violence stresses me a great deal and I have a hard time dealing with confrontations, verbal or physical.</p>

<p>Aunt bea: You make very good points and seem to know the area quite well. I think gaining residency will be much easier considering I am taking a whole year off, so it won’t look like im doing so for tuition purposes. One of my sisters friends did the same thing, granted she had higher grades than me, but she got into Cal Poly. She probably could have been admitted regardless of in-state or out-of-state, but she wanted in-state tuition so she worked for a year then claimed residency and is doing fine now. She worked several jobs until she found a good gig as a yoga instructor… </p>

<p>Right now, I am investigating both PSU and Cali. I am still fully participating in all the steps needed to go to PSU…like scheduling classes, etc. </p>

<p>One common agreement/trend seems to be that I should hold off on going to college for a year or two. What I do and where I do it seems to be the question. If I don’t go to Cali, would you stray away from PSU, or say give it a try and see how i do?</p>

17

<p>amwowoh: You summed up my parents argument in a nutshell. I do want to get away from my parents, but not because I don’t like them. I am certain I will just do much better without them in my life. I have a relationship like any other teenager does with their parents, sometimes its good sometimes its ****. Both my parents drink, sometimes it aggravates me. My mom works her butt of in order to give me an amazing life and I think she is the most amazing women to walk the earth. My dad gets under my skin much more often and yells at me for the same things he does. My dad is also wicked smart, he just never applied himself to something that actually has the potential of being something big. I don’t know if most high schoolers have it figured out at this time, but it sure seems like they do. For me, I have no idea what I want to do. I am hesitate to leave high school because of this, although I am very excited to get out of it. </p>

<p>One thing for everyone to read: I really do love learning. I even like doing homework, if math related… I don’t do a lot of reading, but if I get past the first few chapters of a book, I can find myself to be a reader. I kind of see myself as a nerd, although in the past I have picked bad friends and bad influences. That is my one regret of high school, not choosing the right crowd. I have got in trouble with the law numerous times but I think it is the best thing that could have happened to me. I feel like it has helped me mature a lot and develop as a person and now I finally have an understanding of life. With this understanding, I deeply regret my plans for after college and here is where I am at now. Was it this hard for everyone, or do I just over analyze everything…?</p>

18

<p>Perhaps I misread your original post, but I thought you mentioned staying with family until you could get on your feet. Yet, as far as I can tell, how you’re going to get on your feet, and on what kind of schedule, is vaguely defined, at best.</p>

<p>Nevertheless, if I have given unearned offense with my “mooching” comment, I apologize.</p>

<p>At present, though, I’ve read a lot more wishful thinking in this thread than realistic planning.</p>

19

<p>Yes you are correct, much more wishful thinking than planning. I just talked to my buddy today and he seems very interested. My other buddy is getting a car soon and we are all going to work lots of hours. If we have the money to make it happen we are going to go for it. We plan for 3000 each, so 9000 all together in order to comfortable establish ourselves there. We are all getting together to run through cost and expenses. But 3000 is our ballpark figure. Does that seem like a realist amount of money to have saved in order to get a place and find a job without being too stressed on time?</p>

<p>And no worries on the mooching thing, just wanted to make it very clear that I would not be mooching off anyone.</p>

20

<p>There’s no way of telling, with what you’ve given us, whether $3000 (or $9000) is enough of a nest egg to establish yourself in California.</p>

<p>How do you plan to get there? Are you taking stuff? That’ll cost about $500 if you fly. If you drive, you’ll still have expenses for gasoline, tolls, food and lodging en route. No matter how you approach it, it’s expensive to get across the country.</p>

<p>Where do you plan to live? Southern California? The Bay area? Those places are expensive. And in order to sign a lease, you’ll probably need both jobs that provide a steady, predictable income and a significant amount of money up front for a security deposit. I have no idea what the rental market is like now in California, but the last time I rented an apartment (in the 1980s in Charlottesville, VA), I had to fork over three months’ rent at the time I signed the lease: rent for the first month; rent to cover the last month of the lease, so if I tried to skip out, the landlord would already have enough money to cover the month I skipped out on; and a security deposit equal to one month’s rent, in order to pay for damage to the apartment other than normal wear and tear.</p>

<p>I am not sure $3000 will carry you very far in the parts of California where young people from Pennsylvania actually want to live. But there may be Californians in this thread who know more than I do. I assume you weren’t really planning on Fresno, Bakersfield or Modesto?</p>