I’ve traveled to almost all 50 states and a few other countries and I’m trying to write my essay about that. Some of the things I’m struggling with are creating a good hook and incorporating my personality into it.
An accomplishment doesn’t necessarily show your personality. And I doubt you’ve been responsible for all those travels (assuming your parents took you). It could easily come across as an essay of privilege, which doesn’t play very well in admissions. I’m not sure I see it as a great topic.
Also…the vast majority of students apply to college without a “hook”. So you might want to let go of that idea.
Did you do a humanitarian project in all 50 states? Otherwise…it’s just about travel…and really not particularly meaningful to most colleges.
Your essay needs to talk about YOU. The real,you. So think of things that are your things…not hooks, just plain old YOU. And then write about this.
OK, so here’s the thing:
My guess is that the reason you’ve traveled so much is because your parents have brought you with them-- at age 17, it’s doubtful that this was your doing. So. as the others have stated, this would be your parents’ essay, not yours.
Now, what you could probably do is talk about how you’ve grown as a result of those travels. Did you see a little of yourself in that child on the reservation in Arizona? Did you see poverty in an inner city and resolve to do something about it-- and then follow up with volunteer work helping the homeless and/or the hungry when you got home? Did the size of our country teach you something about your relative place in the universe? Did you see “Ugly Americans” abroad and become determined that it mattered not just how your represented yourself, but how you represented our country? Or did you see people in other countries treating each other-- or their elderly or their disabled or their pets or someone-- in a way that you need to emulate?
In short, I can see how your experiences could be a springboard for an essay about personal growth.
This could all fit under the Common App prompt about an experience you’ve learned from.
The post above is a good one…but this essay will NOT be a “hook”. And that’s fine…most college applicants don’t have “hooks”.