College Essay Criticism Needed

College Essays
1

I wrote a common application essay prompt and would like some constructive criticism. I am not entirely sure how I present myself in this essay, so I need other opinions. Please comment or pm if you are kind enough to help.
Thanks!

2

I’d love to!

3

@OnMyWay2013 Thanks! I just sent it

4

Also happy to read it.

5

@mandapadanda Thanks! I just sent it

6

I would love to read it as well!

7

@Runners Thanks! I just sent it to you.

8

I’ll read it, PM me

9

@hscruiser Thanks I just sent it!