As I’m revising my college essay I found out that i’m using a lot of words describing detail about the most memorable moment I had with my dad. Should I cut out some of the detail and write more about how it changed me as a person? The word limit is 650 and I only have 1 short paragraph on how it changed me is that enough? Thanks
My gut feeling is to put more effort into describing the impact on you but without reading the essay it is hard to know. I’d recommend you ask a trusted English teacher to read it over for you.
Revise and talk aboit how it changed you- then have English teachers review
Remember: your essay should be about YOU as a person, not the things you’ve experienced. You only have 650 words in which to “sell” your application. You want them to finish your essay, just knowing that you’re someone they want to meet, that they really want a kid like you on their campus.
It doesn’t sound as though this first draft has accomplished that yet.
I would revise.