Hi all! I wanted to come back to update about my daughter’s college decision. I am so indebted to all of you for your advice, insight and suggestions - it was all truly appreciated. I did take a break from CC for a bit in the fall because, frankly, there was enough stress in my own household, and I thought it was adding to it. But all’s good now 
My daughter returned to visit what she decided were her top three choices in the hopes of settling on an ED choice: Vassar, Haverford and Grinnell. We visited Vassar first and it was quickly demoted. Was still a top choice, but she knew it wasn’t her top choice anymore. Which was good, because although I was personally blown away by the breadth and quality of academic offerings in her areas of interest, I was hesitant about it being a social match for her. I think she was too, after visiting it again.
We returned (!) to Grinnell (not easy being from the east coast), and again, liked it. But when she returned to Haverford it was clear, to both her and me, that it seemed like the best “fit” for her, down to the tour guide with a similar edgy and sarcastic sense of humor, to the honor code, to the nice, small, comfortable feel to the campus. I told my husband when we returned home that I could really see my daughter there, which is not something I felt at many other places.
She applied ED 1 to Haverford and was admitted Haverford doesn’t have any archaeology courses (an area of interest for her, in addition to Bio, Psych and Stats), but Bryn Mawr does, and I think she will be able to navigate the easy shuttle between campuses. Really, the bottom line is that she thinks she can, which is of utmost importance. And since approx. 70% of the student body have single rooms, she can have her single room and not feel antisocial (I hope). Yes, there are still many concerns out there. We need to reach out to the Disability/Accommodations office to discuss her Aspergers and ADHD and potential accommodations in college (she’s had a 504 in high school). But she has been impressing me this year with being more on top of things at school - there are far less assignments she fails to hand in (almost none, really), she’s been pacing herself very successfully in her studying and pulling straight "A"s in all AP and Honors courses, and doing other things for herself more independently than in the past. I worry more about the social bit in college than the academic for her, sigh. But I think she’s chosen wisely, and if she can make it anywhere, it will be at Haverford
Of note, the only other campus were I unreservedly could see her was at Beloit. She applied EA to Beloit and was accepted, and it was the only place where both of us felt sad when she declined her offer of admission. It truly seems like a special place.
Thanks again for all the wonderful advice and support!