@compmom Lesley University’s academic offerings seem a little limited given my daughter’s wide array of interests. It didn’t appear that they even have an anthropology major, which would put it out of the running I think.
@EyeVeee I think that is one of the (many) reasons Haverford appealed to my daughter: the percentage of freshmen having singles, and thus the ability to both have a single and be part of a small cohesive social group. She thinks she may want a roommate in college - I’m not sure that’s wise, although I think she does need to be forced to be social some times (and can be quite successful when she is forced to do so). We’re still pondering 
@sheepskin00 Brandeis has been hovering on my radar screen. Think I’ll get her to look into it and give me her feedback. And thanks for the feedback on Vassar. She really really liked it when she visited, but I know people who have gone there and go there now, and the social environment does give me pause.
@IndoBurma @bopper RIT seems great in many regards, but she’s adamant that she doesn’t want a school that large. Fairly unshakeable in that regard.
That program does look wonderful though….
I mentioned Lesley because it is so small and supportive, and has interesting programs in psychology (holistic psychology, including cross-cultural psychology). But your daughter’s stats are quite a bit higher than the average there.
I mentioned Davidson because the only student I know who went there had severe ADHD that her parents would never recognize, and the school had her diagnosed and treated. I was impressed.
Did anyone mention Clark University?
@MomOfThreeGirls , you might want to compare notes with @schleppenheimer…
Reading through the comments, I’d agree especially about Denison, Brandeis, and Mount Holyoke. Mount Holyoke and Amherst are part of the Five College Consortium with Hampshire, Smith, and U Mass-Amherst. So she could be on a chill campus and have access to lots of different opportunities. Good luck!
Clark has been mentioned before, and it looks good on paper, but her therapist actually warned us against Clark. Said one of her clients who needed accommodations recently had a very bad experience there 
But I know I have heard the opposite too. It’s just hard when your daughter’s own therapist tells you to stay away….
Consider Brandeis heavily, great services for HFA and a decent percent of kids who o there are HFA and successful after college so it is a great small college for HFA
Has she considered Barnard? It is intimate, collaborative, and intellectually challenging, with fantastic teachers and students. Its counseling services are top notch. There are also ample numbers of excellent, specialized, therapists for students/young adults in NYC who are on the spectrum. However, if NYC doesn’t appeal to her, what about Smith, Mt. Holyoke, Skidmore, Bryn Mawr or Reed Colleges? I think a big school, far from home, will be very challenging for her. Feel free to PM me if you want to discuss this further. Best of luck!
I just spent a week trying to find a therapist for a friend in NYC. I called all over the city, 12 pages of notes, no luck. Maybe in a specialized field with connections provided by a therapist you already know would help, or if you can pay privately.
As for Clark, I am surprised to hear accommodations weren’t up to par. I have heard so many good things about it.
At one school, there can be many different experiences among students. It can depend on the different moving parts of a system. The Disabilities Office usually is NOT key. Instead a dean, the professor, the doctor and therapist all play a role, as does the student and family. Accommodations at the college level have a lower standard than those at the high school level, too. Requests for accommodations cannot pose administrative or financial burdens and cannot change the academic program.
@compmom - please send me a private message and I will try to help you/your friend.
Also for anyone reading this thread who is seeking a college for someone on the spectrum, there is one program I researched, located at Adelphi University, called “Bridges,” run by someone who is also a therapist in NYC for kids on the spectrum. Here is the link to the program: http://bridges.adelphi.edu/autism-resource-links/
I don’t have any first hand knowledge of the program but think highly of the person who runs it.
Did you check out Lawrence University when you were visiting the midwest?
Mostly following because I have a junior son with a similar profile. Not dx-ed on the spectrum but quirky and highly to profoundly gifted. And wants to do music. Could definitely see him doing the crash and burn in the wrong environment. Liberal, but not much patience for overly PC tone either. Would not appreciate a competitive environment at all, would definitely do better somewhere with a collaborative feel.
We just went and saw Macalester and I thought it could be a great fit for a bright, quirky kid but he wasn’t a fan. That’s local for us.
I’d second looking at Oberlin. I’d also check out University of Puget Sound and Whitman. While you are in the area look at University of Washington. Just want to add the Pacific Northwest is full of Aspies. Its almost the norm here. I’ve been touring with my neuro typical and eyeing for my younger aspie. Also want to mention checking out the Claremont colleges (Pomona, Harvey Mudd, Scripps etc). Small individual colleges with access to all facilities.
I have heard good things about Brandeis.
I’m sorry she didn’t like Carleton, because it would seem a perfect LAC fit. Has TRIO program. Has nice safe small town w/ decent downtown and Target. Has sublime academics. “Quirky” okay here, w/o extreme PC or social status pressure.
If she likes Beloit, look at Lawrence in Appleton, Wisconsin. St Olaf, also in Northfield, also has TRIO program, w/slightly less rigorous academic profile, likely to give merit money. Ditto Lawrence and Beloit. But note Beloit city isn’t nearly as pleasant as Northfield or Appleton, and many Midwest LACs are in economically/challenged small rust-belt cities/towns w/petty crime issues and town-gown problems.
My friend’s son attended the Bridges program at Adelphi for one semester and it was helpful. He had left another school after being on academic probation and lived at home while attending Bridges. I looked into it for my eldest son but it was too expensive for me. My friend’s son is now at a small LAC where he lives on campus and is in a different major.
If you visit Carnegie Mellon, visit Pitt next door as well, my D loves it there and has no problem hanging out with her friends who don’t party. She would have great research possibilities for her interests.
Hi all! I wanted to come back to update about my daughter’s college decision. I am so indebted to all of you for your advice, insight and suggestions - it was all truly appreciated. I did take a break from CC for a bit in the fall because, frankly, there was enough stress in my own household, and I thought it was adding to it. But all’s good now 
My daughter returned to visit what she decided were her top three choices in the hopes of settling on an ED choice: Vassar, Haverford and Grinnell. We visited Vassar first and it was quickly demoted. Was still a top choice, but she knew it wasn’t her top choice anymore. Which was good, because although I was personally blown away by the breadth and quality of academic offerings in her areas of interest, I was hesitant about it being a social match for her. I think she was too, after visiting it again.
We returned (!) to Grinnell (not easy being from the east coast), and again, liked it. But when she returned to Haverford it was clear, to both her and me, that it seemed like the best “fit” for her, down to the tour guide with a similar edgy and sarcastic sense of humor, to the honor code, to the nice, small, comfortable feel to the campus. I told my husband when we returned home that I could really see my daughter there, which is not something I felt at many other places.
She applied ED 1 to Haverford and was admitted Haverford doesn’t have any archaeology courses (an area of interest for her, in addition to Bio, Psych and Stats), but Bryn Mawr does, and I think she will be able to navigate the easy shuttle between campuses. Really, the bottom line is that she thinks she can, which is of utmost importance. And since approx. 70% of the student body have single rooms, she can have her single room and not feel antisocial (I hope). Yes, there are still many concerns out there. We need to reach out to the Disability/Accommodations office to discuss her Aspergers and ADHD and potential accommodations in college (she’s had a 504 in high school). But she has been impressing me this year with being more on top of things at school - there are far less assignments she fails to hand in (almost none, really), she’s been pacing herself very successfully in her studying and pulling straight "A"s in all AP and Honors courses, and doing other things for herself more independently than in the past. I worry more about the social bit in college than the academic for her, sigh. But I think she’s chosen wisely, and if she can make it anywhere, it will be at Haverford
Of note, the only other campus were I unreservedly could see her was at Beloit. She applied EA to Beloit and was accepted, and it was the only place where both of us felt sad when she declined her offer of admission. It truly seems like a special place.
Thanks again for all the wonderful advice and support!