<ol>
<li><p>israel programs - DD is heading too Nativ, and is looking forward much.</p></li>
<li><p>Pressure from parents to in marry - My parents made it clear that they would be supportive of me whomever I decided to marry. They modeled their Jewish commitment - my mom’s spirituality within our (traditional leaning) Ref Shul, and my dad his passionate Zionism. I had a delightful NFTY/camp experienece, and a positive Israel experience - though it was not a Jewish program. I was moderately involved in Hillel, though it was a campus with a big jewish minority. I mainly dated Jews. I never really considered marrying someone who wasnt jewish, by birth or choice. It was simply too important a part of my life. </p></li>
</ol>
<p>We have not given our DD lectures about intermarriage. We have tried to open give her Jewish experiences that matter to her, instead - including 5 years of day school (after which her main complaint about hebrew school was that it was too easy, and too little Hebrew) USY, and now Nativ. She loves USY, though she prefers its more spiritual/intellectual sides to the mainly social. </p>
<p>We have tried to model our own Jewish commmitment - whether its reading a Jewish book, going to a lecture, being a little bit more observant than we used to be, etc. I think that goes much further than “do as I say, not as I do”</p>
<ol>
<li><p>Hebrew schools - I think language doesnt have to be boring, it can be fun. And jewish religion shouldnt be all bible - theres too much juicy stuff in pirkei avot, gemarrah, etc. I understand some kids get bored, some find more is less. I think in general less is less though. Lets just say I sympathize with those who have to design these curricula. There are disadvantages either way you go. </p></li>
<li><p>Black groups - I am all for em. </p></li>
<li><p>genetics - you dont have to marry a non-Jew for genetic diversity. There are more than enough jews by choice, and sephardim, for someone concerned about the serious side of genetic diversity (I myself am a Tay Sachs carrier, so its something thats occurred to me)</p></li>
</ol>
<p>just thought i’d throw this out there regarding year in israel programs –
i’ve known a number of kids from various Jewish backgrounds who’ve gone on a variety of different programs and i don’t know a single kid who didn’t find it a wonderful experience. (such programs were often tougher on the parents since it meant not seeing the child at what would have been normal school breaks, but the kids were fine. )
but just something to know going into them – what, if any, college credit the student will be able to claim for any coursework done while on such a program will vary not only by what program it is, but what college they end up at. i knew two kids on the same program – one got almost an entire year’s worth of credit, the other got no college credit.
i’m not suggesting this should affect the decision as to whether or not to go – just suggesting that you know going in what will be the case so that there aren’t any surprises.</p>
<p>I suggested several possible Israel programs to D, but she is not interested in a gap year before college. Israel might still be on the list for a semester abroad through the college.</p>
<p>Brooklynborndad, Nativ is a wonderful program. It’s piqued D1’s interest on and off, right now off, unfortunately. Part of the decision for D1 might rest on college choices. If she is admitted to one of her full-pay $$$ reaches and decides to matriculate, there won’t be money for Nativ. </p>
<p>Another B-student suggestion that wouldn’t work for the OP but might be of interest to someone else is the University of Oregon. Auto-admit for students with a 3.5 GPA, which can be the weighted GPA as long as it’s printed on the high school transcript. Rolling or early admissions, can’t remember which but applicants can have an answer in hand as early as October. OOS COA is (last I looked) in the low $30s, but plane fare to Eugene can be expensive. Great Hillel, according to D1.</p>
<p>one more thought about israel programs – for kids who don’t go on them – don’t forget birthright! there are a number of programs addressing a wide variety of backgrounds and interests. free 10 day trip to israel! to be eligible, student must not have gone on a peer trip to israel.
funding has been hit just like other programs so more kids get wait listed – a reason to consider applying earlier than later – i think if you get wait listed one year, you get a higher priority the next, but i’m not sure if that is universal for all programs or even if its still true.</p>
<p>I haven’t read this whole thread, though there are some delightfully amusing parts. We’re also looking for schools for a Jewish girl, though this time from New England (who doesn’t want to stay in Massachusetts because she wants one state boundary between her and her mother).</p>
<p>One question: My daughter and I looked on paper at St. Mary’s College of Maryland, which seems to be the honors college of the state system (though there also seem to be others, a little confusing). It looks very interesting, though her guidance counselor says that the kids who get in there from her school (out of state) are the same kids who get into Brown and similar (and my D is not there). But, your son is in-state so the chances should be a lot better. How is its Hillel? We also looked at New College of Florida. We didn’t ask about Hillel, but I wonder if it is OK.</p>
<p>Hi Shawbridge - St. Mary’s has a wonderful reputation in Maryland. But yes, very rural location. Would be good for someone who really wants a liberal arts education and who likes the water - sailing, etc. It is the Maryland public honors college - but I certainly do not equate it with Brown - not at all. The kids who get in have B+/A- averages - SATs close to 1200 and ACTs close to 29, with in-state kids being able to go a little lower. I don’t know anything about Hillel there - we are not considering for S2 as there is no undergraduate business major and we think it is a bit small.</p>
<p>Hi Shawbridge - St. Mary’s has a wonderful reputation in Maryland. But yes, very rural location. Would be good for someone who really wants a liberal arts education and who likes the water - sailing, etc. It is the Maryland public honors college - but I certainly do not equate it with Brown - not at all. The kids who get in have B+/A- averages - SATs close to 1200 and ACTs close to 29, with in-state kids being able to go a little lower. I don’t know anything about Hillel there - we are not considering for S2 as there is no undergraduate business major and we think it is a bit small.</p>
<p>I have been lurking on CC for awhile, but I finally had to join. </p>
<p>Rockvillemom - this thread is great! Thanks for starting it.</p>
<p>I have a feeling that my D1 is at the same high school as your S2! We have started putting together a list of potential colleges and one of the things we have been looking at, is the Jewish population. We are looking at a minimum of 10%. D has friends of all religions and ethnicity and is very comfortable in a diverse setting. However, there does need to be some minimum threshold to maintain a “comfort” level. </p>
<p>Also, marrying Jewish is very important to me, and I hope to my kids. So I do want my kids to have choices from among tribe members!</p>
<p>I have to believe that college admissions offices realize how competitive our high school is and the caliber of students there. For a public high school, I think that the stats are unbelievable. My D is also a sophomore. </p>
<p>Regarding the ACT, I know that you said that you will work with your son over the summer (that would be a recipe for disaster with me and d1!), but you may want to consider our local community college. They have an SAT prep class (not sure about ACT, but they may offer that. It’s very reasonable, and I have a friend whose son took it and increased his score by 250 points.</p>
<p>I think that it has been mentioned on this thread, but you may want to look at University of Richmond. I think that they are around 10% Jewish and they share a Hillel with Virginia Commonwealth, which I don’t think has too many Jews. I believe that they have a business school.</p>
<p>Shawbridge, if you are looking for schools like Brown and New College (funky/artsy?) not in MA, perhaps Goucher, Bard, Muhlenberg, SUNY New Paltz and Drew? If a lesser Jewish population is not a concern, Juniata or , for music and creative writing, Susquehanna. </p>
<p>Serenity, your S needs to define his sports passion level–for pro sports, is it sufficient to follow via internet or does he want regular chances to attend actual pro sports (a much smaller universe of locales)? Does he want to attend big time college sports ( Again a small unvierse)? If his ideal is to attend both college and pro sports events, then there are even fewer options, depending on which pro sports are his favorites.</p>
<p>Hi mdmomfromli and welcome to cc - glad you like the thread. So, what colleges are on your list for D1 so far, if you don’t mind my asking?</p>
<p>I sense a lot of skepticism over my plan to work with S2 on the ACT over the summer - lots of advocates for paid test prep. I’m just not a big fan of it - I have seen such mixed results. Some great success stories certainly, but also some whose scores did not budge or even went down after parents shelled out lots of money. S2 responds well to incentives (you can call them bribes if you want) and I plan to dangle a big carrot.</p>
<p>Yes, someone else suggested Univ. of Richmond - right now - I think it’s a little reachy - but if he gets that awesome ACT score that I’m hoping for and gets his grades up a little higher next year, it might be worth looking into.</p>
<p>Anyone have thoughts on Florida colleges? I’ve heard good things about University of Miami, Rollins and Eckerd - but have not seen any of them. I’m not sure that any of them are right for S2 - but thought I’d mention them to anyone else who would be interested in Florida. Of course, Florida has large universities as well, but those are really off my radar.</p>
<p>I think of UMiami as being pretty large, but do not the numbers. It become much more selective than during it party school heyday, but I suspect many of the kids saying they are going for the business program are the sons of men who said they read Playboy for the articles.</p>
<p>Rollins also used to have a party rep; Eckerd more of an academic one.</p>
<p>“Also, marrying Jewish is very important to me, and I hope to my kids.”</p>
<p>That was phrased beautifully…if you communicate it in exactly those words to your kids, they will hear your message!
Rockville, I am curious as to why your son is so intent on the South…is it the weather, or has he spent time there? I would encourage you to still allow him to visit northern schools to compare. Please remember that what he says now may change a lot before he applies…you are right to get a head start but don’t set anything in stone right now.
As for your “mom school”, yes it can work! I would suggest that you make him think that it is his idea for you to be his ACT tutor, and then keep the study sessions short (20 minutes a day of short practice sections and then a review of the answers). Good luck!</p>
<p>Rockvillemom - Right now we have a pretty big list of colleges (28). Other than finding a college that offers the major she wants along with the possibility of a double major or minor with her other main interest, her main requirement right now is that the school has to have more students than her high school! So that takes out all small lac’s.</p>
<p>A few that are pretty high up on her list are:
Wash U.
CMU
Oberlin
NYU
Syracuse
University of Miami</p>
<p>She knows she has to apply to UMD and another MD school as financial safeties. She is not happy about that and says she not going. In reality, UMD isn’t the best fit for her, with what she wants to major in. </p>
<p>We haven’t been focusing on location other than to use it to eliminate schools. Wash U is the furthest west. The main focus is finding the schools with the programs she wants.</p>
<p>I think it’s great that you can work with S2 to prepare for the ACT. D1 doesn’t like when I “nag” her, so it wouldn’t work for us! No matter how big of a carrot! I will probably sign her up for the class at the community college, because she did well on the PSAT and I think a review class will be all she needs to do very well. She is a very good standardized test taker.</p>
<p>I share your bias against the test prep classes to some extent , rockvillemom, but not against a good (emphasis on good) private tutor. I have a friend who does test prep - many of her students come to her after not making much progress taking the group classes and go up significantly, and in less time, too. Of course there are some kids who do make progress in the group classes, as well. But it’s still early for your S and as you say you can always reassess. If he’s the type to do the homework faithfully, I don’t see any reason not to try it your way, first.</p>
<p>ShawD wants to study biology (maybe premed maybe not) and is a dancer but doesn’t want to perform seriously but just take classes in college as she finds it de-stressing. She’s also been doing yoga since she was 3 and can contort her body into all kinds of impossible positions. She’s actually quite talented artistically, but shies away from it because her mother is a reasonably well-recognized painter. She doesn’t want a hyper-competitive school but wants bright students and good classes. She would be happy if neither sports nor frats/sororities were a big part of a university life. We don’t observe kashrut (though all our relatives on the US side send their kids to Solomon Shecter Schools) nor are we regular synagogue attenders, but have made holidays and Shabbat family events. So ShawD feels a sense of connection that Hillel would foster.</p>
<p>On her tentative list, she’s got Goucher, New College, Oxford College of Emory University, Hamilton, Colorado College, College of Wooster, University of Vermont (maybe). She’s a dual Canadian/US citizen and has McGill, Queen’s, Mount Allison and Acadia. She’s got a 3.29 UW GPA with a number of honors/AP classes through first term of junior year and she’s likely to get 5 A’s and 1 B in the second term (three are AP/Honors classes). She hasn’t taken ACTs or SATs yet as I was negotiating with them for accommodations. She likes the ACT better and will take it, though I think she got a 27 on a practice test without any studying, even for the science section which was new to her. I’m guessing 30 after she studies. </p>
<p>We will take a look at Bard, Muhlenberg, SUNY New Paltz and Drew.</p>
<p>On test prep, there are threads her from someone named xiggi who has an elaborate self-preparation method, which involves among other things lots of practice tests. We used that for ShawSon with a person who went over the results with him to see where to focus his effort. He’s a severely dyslexic kid with a high IQ and worked for 3 weeks straight (3 days on math, one week on CR, 1 1/2 weeks on writing) following xiggi’s method with help (and one half-day of a writing test expert to explain strategy). He got 800, 760, 760. The comfort with working on lots of practice tests was a big contributor. For ShawD, we’re going to have her do self-testing but first we need to hire someone to help her figure out the science section. But, we’ll largely be using the xiggi method.</p>
<p>This thread is wonderful. I feel like some of the posts I have read I could have written myself! I, too, would love to have a in-person conversation with all of you!</p>
<p>My S is also a soph in HS, a B+ student, hoping to find a college with some kind of a Jewish community. He was Bar Mitzvah’ed, but, at this time, we are non-practicing. However, he (and we) identify strongly as Jews. He thinks he might want to major in either Phys Ed or Sports Marketing/Mgmt/Admin, so we are looking for schools that have both of those. He also wants to play baseball, most likely DII or DIII, but is not completely eliminating the idea of DI. Very, very few schools have all of these criteria, and if one has to fall by the wayside, it will most likely be Hillel, sadly. Some of the schools he is considering are:
SUNY Cortland
SUNY Brockport
Springfield College
Ithaca College
Eastern Connecticut State
UDelaware
Towson
Any other suggestions?</p>
<p>For those speaking about U of Miami, my D just finished her freshman year there. It is not a huge school, about 10,000 students. The Hillel is rather active and they have many activities. The Jewish population is around 15%. My D attended FreshmanFest, and it was well worth it.</p>
)