Two of the tours I was on earlier this summer, I kind of wished the tour guides had eventually said to the really vocal parents (and both times it was the parents, not the students), “You know, nearly everything you’re asking is really easy to find on the website.”
Having questions to ask is good. Asking about half a dozen things along the lines of when the application deadline is, not as good.
I totally get that you don’t want parents to monopolize the conversation, especially with questions that aren’t particularly insightful, but I have been on many tours where we’re all walking to the next location in awkward silence. And I am 100% guilty of asking a question I know the answer to so 1. the poor student guide doesn’t feel like they’re leading around a bunch of zombies, and 2. in hopes that maybe the question will spark a story or a personal experience that might be interesting.
On a tour of Duke…
Parent: “How many volumes does the library have”?
Tour Guide (total deadpan): “I don’t have an exact number but there is so much happening on campus I wouldn’t worry about your son running out of stuff to read over 4 years, even if he is anti social and stays in his room all the time, he should be ok”.
My son a bit to loud: “Microphone drop and we are out”.
Me: “So you guys have a basketball team?”
Crowd: Awkward giggle/mumble and killer stare from my wife.
We toured Wooster in the spring and at the end, our tour guide cried! It turned out that she was a senior and we were her last tour ever, and in speaking about how much she valued her time at Wooster, she got teary. She was lovely, and clearly felt Wooster was a great school! …or she’s a theater major and know turning on the waterworks gets 'em every time.
For what it’s worth, I laughed out loud. Then again, it’s the type of intentionally silly question that I would ask for my own personal amusement.
Love the deadpan response from the tour guide: kind of like, if you’re asking me this question, you’re probably not clever or resourceful enough to be a student here… Totally how not to make a good first impression: never ask a question that is so easily searchable, especially in today’s world with iPhones where the answer is right at the fingertip while walking on the tour! 
Went on a tour of Barnard with D22. A couple of the dads dominated the Q&A activity. The irony wasn’t lost on D22.
My eldest son had a habit of integrating a question about access to public bathrooms in the first two tours I went on with him.
After the third tour with him similarly asking about toilet availability, I asked him once back in the car a simple “What is with your crapper obsession, aren’t cafeterias and libraries a bit more important”.
He explained “Dad I can get books on line and I can go hours without food, but”. I cut him off and said “got it great question”.
He has always been my most pragmatic kid.
Great trip to Los Angeles for my DD22, interested in political science or public policy.
USC — Self-guided tour with ability to talk with admissions officers and student ambassadors 1-1 afterward. What a great opportunity!
She learned more about her choice of major through admissions officers and really drilled down with student ambassadors about campus vibe, travel abroad, etc. It seems like such a great fit and we could see her getting more and more excited.
The campus is gorgeous and almost Disneylandish perfect, which is not a diss. It’s compact but not small, and feels really vibrant because of its location. Spirited, innovative, great student support and alumni network, The visit confirmed this as her top choice.
UCLA — Only self-guided tours available — but so eye-opening! We had visited the campus a couple years ago but had not seen a lot of it. Massive, majestic Romanesque buildings, sweeping views, and sprawling grounds. Some corners feel secluded and tranquil, others vibrant. It’s clear you’re on the grounds of a serious research university. A movie was being filmed, so it was an awesome LA experience. Another great-fit school and the program for my DD’s major may be her favorite out of all colleges she’s considering.
We stayed at the Luskin Conference Center on the campus and really enjoyed it. Felt like Westwood village was a bit ragged, but I’m sure merchants suffered during the pandemic. Trip solidified this as a top choice.
Occidental— The AO and tour guide were exceptional. Sleeper hit. DD’s college list has focused on large universities with big-time sports. This is not Occidental! It IS in LA with good sized, beautiful campus. Unusual programs like Campaign Semester and LAC benefits of small classes, close relationships with professors, etc. A real emphasis on collaboration and stretching into the community through service, internships, travel and entertainment. I think this will help to make the school seem less small for her. Lots of shared values between student ambassadors and my DD. She will definitely apply.
I don’t want to get political about this, but having a school where some kids are given “better dorms with A/C” because they are “special” reinforces privilege and maybe even resentment. Something I would not want to be taught to my child or have other people teach theirs. I’m hoping that an excellent education will help my child fix the world, not teach them that it is okay to take the best and biggest piece of cake, because everybody else does it.
And those are the schools that go down on our list. Just because something is not unusual does not mean it is okay.
Vote with your feet.
I’m ok with honors dorms, honors programs, and honors classes. My understanding is that honors programs are earned and not “given”.
Earned like in this quote from the essay thread?:
Many of my daughter’s peers had college consultants that planned out their whole high school lives, including summer research, camps etc (Bay Area super competitive public). These are lovely, smart, personable teenagers. We didn’t believe in this type of “grooming” (this is not the right word but it’s also not really consulting so I don’t know what to call it) and it created alot of stress for my daughter primarily due to peer interactions.
Earned as in there are academic requirements to qualify.
But again, if it’s not for you that’s ok. Plenty of schools don’t have such programs. The school my S16 went to did not have any honors dorms and honors classes were open to anyone that wanted it give it a shot. And, there was no “honors college” that I was aware of. He had a great experience Stanford.
A reminder that CC is not a debate society. Let’s get back to the original topic of this thread.
What I’m struggling with is your use of the term “given”.
Didn’t those kids earn those perks? Didn’t their achievement (at least for most of them) provide that opportunity?
Don’t you want your kids to go to a place where they learn that hard work and dedication make a difference, not that everyone deserves the same thing regardless of effort and performance?
Those mostly public universities believe they need honors colleges to attract the students that are significantly above their average student. For example a university that offers the world to NMFs. There may be some resentment among students who were equally or more exceptional in HS but didn’t make the selection index cutoff. It’s how those universities have chosen to fill their class and spend their recruitment dollars.
Be sure to research the schools where no applicants are given preferential treatment. They each have a 100% acceptance rate and no merit scholarships are offered.
Add another Wooster alum to your tearful count…you got me with this. It really is a special place.
Isn’t that why you have different colleges in the first place? Is it really necessary to demonstrate for all, that in a community, some people are going to be treated better? If I were of the general student body, I would be insulted and would go to a community where I was appreciated as an equal.
As for earning a better place because of hard work and dedication, many will have done what was necessary, but the places are limited, so it’s not just for that reason. How many did everything on their own? And if they did do it on their own, then what is the point of education, if they can teach themselves?
I have many thoughts about this school within a school structure, and I have asked several people since reading about them here, what they would think about a system like this. Like me, they found it somewhat repugnant, and that was before I let them know how I felt about it. I wonder if those who are so defensive of the system ever actually go in depth in thinking about whether it is morally right or wrong.
This could be a whole new thread, so I will stop trying to lead horses to water, and leave it at that.