I agree with posters above that there are no wrong colleges. It is all about personal fit.
I will say that accepted student day at Syracuse made D less inclined to attend the school. In fairness, it was never her top choice, I liked it a lot though b/c it was closer to home than others, and had a traditional campus experience which I thought was important. (D was a fan of Urban schools and ended ip choosing one). We always knew that sports were a big deal there, and D is an arts girl (Syracuse has many really great arts programs- which is how it had ended up on the list) But at the acceptance students weekend things were SO geared towards sports that she worried she would not feel a part of a major facet of campus culture.
Up:
U of Maryland/College Park- Friendly students, campus feels smaller than it is, loads of research and internship opportunities.
Wesleyan- Loved the campus on a spring break visit, without classes in session. Upbeat tour guide sold the school well.
Down:
Wesleyan- Visited again with school in session and saw no students anywhere on a Friday in the middle of the day.
Our takeaway was that it’s important to visit a school with students around and school in session to get a true feel for the campus culture.
The old saying “one man’s trash is another man’s treasure” totally applies to all of these perceptions. I just talked with some parents whose son is going to Goucher. They said he walked on campus and knew it was the place for him. I met another mom whose son visited Kenyon (where D will attend) and he thought it was too “preppy”, which my kid disagreed with vociferously. But I would describe all three of these kids as a bit hipster, alternative, whatever. So you just can’t tell sometimes what will appeal to any particular person.
I really like the positive tone of this thread, and the fact that posters realize that a school may not be right for them or their kid but may be perfect for someone else.
Even in a family it can vary. My mom’s college strategy was to let me choose whichever college I liked the most and that she could afford. Then we visited Vassar and she LOVED it. She was super enthusiastic about the tour, the programs, the culture, the campus, Poughskeepie, everything. I, however, knew it wasn’t for me as soon as I stepped on campus. I thought there was too much trash and smoking, plus it just wasn’t the vibe I wanted… It didn’t matter in the end because I wasn’t accepted, but it really goes to show how differently people perceive things.
Disclaimer: I think Vassar is a great school, it just wasn’t the place for me.
Both Alabama and Pitt moved down on my middle son’s list after visits and hearing way too much about sports. He loves where he’s at (U Rochester) and at graduation, a prof was praising an athlete who worked in his lab. “We learned a lot from X. She invited us to one of her swim meets. It was very enlightening. We learned our college has a gym!”
Kids are different. Schools are different. It all works best for both when the match fits. My guy has no regrets and never did attend a football game - though he knows some of the football players and they get along just fine.
At the school where I work (and on here) I still recommend all three schools - for the right student.
I would still absolutely recommend Syracuse- just wasn’t right spot for the D
The tough thing about visiting is you could get a tour guide on a bad day, or get a bad host on an overnight. A poster upthread visited a school and thought it had a strong religious presence, and we didn’t notice one at all when we visited the same school. So much depends on the day! Multiple visits are the best idea if you can manage them.
I agree @Pheebers that multiple visits would be ideal, although probably most people can’t manage them. I also think people should go with their gut feeling about a place. But when reporting back on CC keep in mind that your impression about a school’s culture might not be 100% accurate (and sometimes is 100% inaccurate). A while back I read a post from someone whose kid had had visited D’s LAC and announced that the LAC was one where the students are isolated and don’t support each other. They could tell because when they walked across campus the students had their heads down and weren’t talking to each other. Think of all the studies of eyewitness testimony, for example, and how very inaccurate it is. That’s why I say go with your gut instinct but don’t then think you’re an expert on what is wrong with a school that neither you or your kid attend.
We’ve only had a couple of college visits so far but I am eagerly awaiting one we hate! We seem to love everything.
For us the early-ish visits (rising junior) have been very valuable not for the choice of college per se, but for helping S1 identify what things about a college are important to him and provoking discussion. That has actually worked, and has opened his mind to the idea that colleges he had not considered before (small LACs, CC’s favorite category!) might be the best fits for him because of small classes and access to professors. So the next round will to be to visit those.
BTW, I only learned enough to counsel him about those LACs from my time here – so thank you CC Community, much good does come through here!
The two schools where our HS junior spent the night both went up in desirability; the school that didn’t allow it (senior standing required) went down. Coincidence? I dunno.
Opposite happened with my S – the school that was the front runner went down after an overnight. Sounds very similar to other experiences reported here – he was turned off by the party atmosphere. And it was a Monday night so hardly party prime time.
Interesting comment about Syracuse and sports. WI relative went there undergrad for music- totally not into sports. Seems to have enjoyed her experience, friends there… CA relative there for masters- because of his program, NOT the weather; he is also not into sports.
^^ Ah, good point. Our overnights were at academic schools, so more likely not a coincidence.
@wis75 What’s your definition of “academic schools”? My S’s overnight was at a #4 rated LAC (U.S. News), so pretty academic. I think partying goes on at almost every school. In my S’s case, the students liked to brag about “work hard, play hard” and the other prospective students and current students all chatted about what kind of substances they were into. I’ve heard kids from Ivys use the same expression.
That “work hard, play hard” sounds like it came from UW-Madison (the Wisconsin UW). Sure students can party, but they better have studied first so they don’t flunk out.
I don’t remember my comment with the word academic in it. Some schools seem to have a more uniform culture than others- despite the reputation as a party school UW has plenty of more serious, academic, students who don’t follow the majority’s lead with sports attendance and partying. Large U’s may not seem to be “academic” because they have a large enough student body to accommodate the average and more serious students.
I see the value in citing specific, named schools. Learning that Greek culture dominates a campus can matter. The details separate a few out of many candidates.
It wasn’t your comment wis75. Just read directly below yours above.
By “academic” I just mean the opposite of what people think of when they say/hear “party school.” A “complaint” (which sounded a bit like praise) from the Reed overnight was that the host didn’t have much time due to studying.
I was always hesitant about overnights - so much depends on how well the host matches the visitor. Even a “good” host may not represent their school well because they are from a different group within the school than the student visiting -doesn’t’ mean those kids aren’t there, they just don’t meet them on that visit.
That said, I do believe in “vibe”. We ask our 17 year olds for concrete reasons - so they tell us something. A lot of times a school just feels right or wrong. When my S was picking between 2 schools, we were fine with either one. We just wanted one to “feel” better to him - no articulate reason needed. They were both good choices, but different.